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  1. #11
    Posting Addict dreamchaser's Avatar
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    I have a 15 year old daughter from a previous relationship and ttc my first with my husband for over 6 years before being diagnosed with POF. I always got those comments too, that I should just be happy with the one I have (like what is THAT supposed to mean?!!?) It doesn't take away from the one I have, wanting and dreaming of having another! And when she started getting older I was getting the comments about not wanting such a big age gap and why would I want to go backwards and have a baby and toddler again. *sigh*

  2. #12
    Super Poster Lily2006's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by smsturner View Post
    Do people around you know all you're going through?

    I have kept things almost completely to myself. Only one or two people even know that we've been trying besides the ladies here. Am I isolating myself too much? What do you ladies do?
    The only people that know is myself, my DH and you ladies here at pg.org Sometimes I think it would make me feel better having family know (they are so excited for their future grand babies/niece/nephew etc) But I just don't have the heart to get there hopes up of us trying in case it just isn't meant to be.
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  3. #13
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    I told people the first IUI cycle that we went through but then I guess because I am such a people pleaser I felt like I let everyone down. People were so excited for us and asking all the time when we would know and then I had to tell them all that we were not pregnant. That I think was harder than just finding out that the cycle did not work. I felt like I let all of those people down. My husband and I talked about it and decided that we would only be telling his mother and the only reason she would know was because when we had to drive for treatments she would keep my husband's son.

  4. #14
    Posting Addict smsturner's Avatar
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    I think that would be harder too. Not only is everyone disappointed, but you have to relive your own disappointment over and over with each person you tell. I'm sorry it didn't work.

    Quote Originally Posted by Lily2006 View Post
    The only people that know is myself, my DH and you ladies here at pg.org Sometimes I think it would make me feel better having family know (they are so excited for their future grand babies/niece/nephew etc) But I just don't have the heart to get there hopes up of us trying in case it just isn't meant to be.
    Actually, I've been a long time member, but didn't even really bring it up here on the org that i was trying until recently. For the same reasons as not telling irl friends. Some ladies are good friends from the depression board or the debate board. And i had always steered clear of the 0-24 month board bcs i felt jealous of everyone moving on. I have to say though, I'm really happy i tried talking to you ladies about it. Its good to have the support and advice of you all

    Quote Originally Posted by dreamchaser View Post
    I have a 15 year old daughter from a previous relationship and ttc my first with my husband for over 6 years before being diagnosed with POF. I always got those comments too, that I should just be happy with the one I have (like what is THAT supposed to mean?!!?) It doesn't take away from the one I have, wanting and dreaming of having another! And when she started getting older I was getting the comments about not wanting such a big age gap and why would I want to go backwards and have a baby and toddler again. *sigh*
    I have heard that question too. Wow, you were almost done! Why would you want to start over!? Thanks. Super helpful.

    Can i ask if you told your daughter you were trying?
    Susan, dh Tom, dd Megan, ds Marcus, ds #2 coming Feb, 2014

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    I never knew until that moment how badly it could hurt to lose something you never really had. - Missed Miscarriage at 10 weeks - 3/26

  5. #15
    Posting Addict dreamchaser's Avatar
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    I didn't tell her in the beginning. She was almost 7 when we first started ttc. She would talk about wanting a sibling and I would tell her that hopefully she will be a big sister one day. But as she got older she started to understand what was going on. When we started IVF (she was 11) we didn't sit down and tell her per say, but we were open with our conversations when she was around and she knew that we were doing fertility treatments to try and have a baby.

    I should add that when I was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure in 2010, we did sit down and tell her that we were no longer able to ttc, that I had a condition that would prevent me from being able to have any more children. I felt that she needed to know so that she could move on/forward as well, to accept that she was going to be an only child.
    Last edited by dreamchaser; 12-04-2012 at 11:00 AM.

  6. #16
    Posting Addict smsturner's Avatar
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    Megan is nosy and has noticed some of my 'paraphernalia" since we started. There are only so many opk's and tests and charts, etc etc you can hide with a nosy 13 year old around. She has asked here and there, and I've just told her maybe we'd have a baby someday. Marcus is in a land of his own lol
    I'm not sure how much I should talk about it with them. I don't want them to be super disappointed if we don't. But, like you said, it's smart to tell them if we def never would be able to have a baby.
    Susan, dh Tom, dd Megan, ds Marcus, ds #2 coming Feb, 2014

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    I never knew until that moment how badly it could hurt to lose something you never really had. - Missed Miscarriage at 10 weeks - 3/26

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