Feel like a jerk! :(

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smsturner's picture
Joined: 05/11/09
Posts: 1303
Feel like a jerk! :(

Yesterday a colleague mentioned that his wife is pregnant with twins. 6 weeks now. They had a baby about a year ago, and they don't want her to be an only child. He is 45, so he said if it was anytime, it would have to be now. So they are now pregnant. But they didn't WANT two babies. Just one.

And I understand worrying about health risks and such, but he was complaining about being up all night, and how is he going to manage. And how he has a hard time now with getting ailey (baby) to her appointments and getting up and not getting sleep, and it's been so hard.

So I told him he should just be really happy to have such a blessing. And that he is complaining and worried, but he will be very happy in the end.

He was very annoyed with that. I think I offended him, or hurt his feelings. I'm not sure. I just feel like a total jerk for not being understanding, and for getting frustrated with him. He's a friend. But it just is so hard to listen to people complain about what I think would be wonderful things to worry about. Since we started trying, they've been pregnant with three babies. :sad11: I guess I'm just feeling really sorry for myself today.

combatcutie's picture
Joined: 04/04/07
Posts: 2130

Nope, don't feel like a jerk. He knew what he was getting into since he already has a child. He should be thankful that he was able to get pregnant. Some of us would die to have a baby. I personally would not feel bad for telling him what you did.

Audgee's picture
Joined: 08/24/05
Posts: 305

I wouldn't feel badly at all! If anyone should it should be him , imo.
Is he aware that you have been trying?
If not, I would maybe mention to him that you weren't trying to be mean with your comments but that you (or you could say you know people if you don't want your personal business out there) have been trying to have a baby since before he had his first, so all the things he is complaining about you would give your left arm for.

I am sure if he is talking so openly about it, I am sure you are not the only one he has upset with his complaining - and he probably is not even aware of how much it can hurt someone to have to listen it to

I guess I have been through so much on my journey, that I am much quicker now to point out things to people, if I think it might spare someone else the pain, or give someone a better understanding of the other side of the issue, kwim?

mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
Posts: 2541

What both the previous posts said!

Don't feel bad, he is the one being a jerk.

dreamchaser's picture
Joined: 01/31/07
Posts: 681

I don't think what you said was rude or insensitive at all! You simply reminded him he should be happy for his blessings in life and not be complaining about it. Especially when he wanted this!! The same can be said about a person complaining about their spouse all the time to someone who is single and would love to be in a loving long term relationship. Yes there are positive and negative aspects to everything in life! But overall people should really be thankful for the blessings they have and not complain about the little things. Like seriously, he's complaining about lack of sleep!!! Whatever!! *HUGS*

smsturner's picture
Joined: 05/11/09
Posts: 1303

Thank you all very much. I feel much better. Smile I guess everyone waiting and wanting so long gets frustrated with it sometimes...

dreamchaser's picture
Joined: 01/31/07
Posts: 681

"smsturner" wrote:

Thank you all very much. I feel much better. Smile I guess everyone waiting and wanting so long gets frustrated with it sometimes...

I'm glad you feel better! Smile

Lizbet22's picture
Joined: 04/01/09
Posts: 2859

I agree with all!!!
What you said was almost comforting..or should have been comforting to him!!
Hes the jerk for getting upity about it.
Hugs Love
xxxxxxx

JustMeNHim's picture
Joined: 12/10/12
Posts: 76

Oh yeah... I've had similar encounters... Except, I always look back on the conversation and wish I had responded in a similar manner... I always want to say it, but can't seem to spit out the words! Don't feel bad. No one can understand what you're going through, and he has to know that. If he's a friend, he'll forgive you! Smile Chin up!