Feel like a jerk! :(
+ Reply to Thread
Results 1 to 9 of 9
Like Tree7Likes
  • 1 Post By combatcutie
  • 1 Post By Audgee
  • 1 Post By mom2robbie
  • 1 Post By dreamchaser
  • 1 Post By dreamchaser
  • 2 Post By Lizbet22

Thread: Feel like a jerk! :(

  1. #1
    Posting Addict smsturner's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Hamilton, NY
    Posts
    5,855

    Default Feel like a jerk! :(

    Yesterday a colleague mentioned that his wife is pregnant with twins. 6 weeks now. They had a baby about a year ago, and they don't want her to be an only child. He is 45, so he said if it was anytime, it would have to be now. So they are now pregnant. But they didn't WANT two babies. Just one.

    And I understand worrying about health risks and such, but he was complaining about being up all night, and how is he going to manage. And how he has a hard time now with getting ailey (baby) to her appointments and getting up and not getting sleep, and it's been so hard.

    So I told him he should just be really happy to have such a blessing. And that he is complaining and worried, but he will be very happy in the end.

    He was very annoyed with that. I think I offended him, or hurt his feelings. I'm not sure. I just feel like a total jerk for not being understanding, and for getting frustrated with him. He's a friend. But it just is so hard to listen to people complain about what I think would be wonderful things to worry about. Since we started trying, they've been pregnant with three babies. I guess I'm just feeling really sorry for myself today.
    Susan, dh Tom, dd Megan, ds Marcus, ds #2 coming Feb, 2014

    Lilypie Maternity tickers

    I never knew until that moment how badly it could hurt to lose something you never really had. - Missed Miscarriage at 10 weeks - 3/26

  2. #2
    Community Host combatcutie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2007
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
    8,967

    Default

    Nope, don't feel like a jerk. He knew what he was getting into since he already has a child. He should be thankful that he was able to get pregnant. Some of us would die to have a baby. I personally would not feel bad for telling him what you did.
    mom2robbie likes this.

  3. #3
    Posting Addict Audgee's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    7,641

    Default

    I wouldn't feel badly at all! If anyone should it should be him , imo.
    Is he aware that you have been trying?
    If not, I would maybe mention to him that you weren't trying to be mean with your comments but that you (or you could say you know people if you don't want your personal business out there) have been trying to have a baby since before he had his first, so all the things he is complaining about you would give your left arm for.

    I am sure if he is talking so openly about it, I am sure you are not the only one he has upset with his complaining - and he probably is not even aware of how much it can hurt someone to have to listen it to

    I guess I have been through so much on my journey, that I am much quicker now to point out things to people, if I think it might spare someone else the pain, or give someone a better understanding of the other side of the issue, kwim?
    mom2robbie likes this.
    Audrey
    DH Sebastian
    DS Sawyer 4/1/06
    DD Payton too beautiful for this earth, born silently 7/19/09 at 33 wks
    DS Greyson 6/29/11
    DS Parker 4/14/14


  4. #4
    Posting Addict mom2robbie's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Location
    Edmonton, Alberta
    Posts
    5,820

    Default

    What both the previous posts said!

    Don't feel bad, he is the one being a jerk.
    combatcutie likes this.
    Margaret (44)
    Sean (38 )
    Robbie (8 )
    Bailey (April 2, 2011)


    "The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind." Caroline Myss

  5. #5
    Posting Addict dreamchaser's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    5,641

    Default

    I don't think what you said was rude or insensitive at all! You simply reminded him he should be happy for his blessings in life and not be complaining about it. Especially when he wanted this!! The same can be said about a person complaining about their spouse all the time to someone who is single and would love to be in a loving long term relationship. Yes there are positive and negative aspects to everything in life! But overall people should really be thankful for the blessings they have and not complain about the little things. Like seriously, he's complaining about lack of sleep!!! Whatever!! *HUGS*
    combatcutie likes this.

  6. #6
    Posting Addict smsturner's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Hamilton, NY
    Posts
    5,855

    Default

    Thank you all very much. I feel much better. I guess everyone waiting and wanting so long gets frustrated with it sometimes...
    Susan, dh Tom, dd Megan, ds Marcus, ds #2 coming Feb, 2014

    Lilypie Maternity tickers

    I never knew until that moment how badly it could hurt to lose something you never really had. - Missed Miscarriage at 10 weeks - 3/26

  7. #7
    Posting Addict dreamchaser's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Posts
    5,641

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by smsturner View Post
    Thank you all very much. I feel much better. I guess everyone waiting and wanting so long gets frustrated with it sometimes...
    I'm glad you feel better!
    smsturner likes this.

  8. #8
    Community Host Lizbet22's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
    Location
    A beautiful and quiet village in Essex
    Posts
    7,836

    Default

    I agree with all!!!
    What you said was almost comforting..or should have been comforting to him!!
    Hes the jerk for getting upity about it.
    Hugs Love
    xxxxxxx
    mom2robbie and smsturner like this.
    Moderator of
    TTC 2 Years +
    Lilypie Second Birthday tickers


  9. #9
    Contributor JustMeNHim's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2012
    Location
    Indiana
    Posts
    76

    Default

    Oh yeah... I've had similar encounters... Except, I always look back on the conversation and wish I had responded in a similar manner... I always want to say it, but can't seem to spit out the words! Don't feel bad. No one can understand what you're going through, and he has to know that. If he's a friend, he'll forgive you! Chin up!
    Married DH 10/5/05-- since 2007--Dealing with MFI



    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Trying to Conceive Event tickers

+ Reply to Thread

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
v -->

About Us | Contact Us | Privacy Policy | Sitemap | Terms & Conditions