I need to vent

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angelover02740's picture
Joined: 07/10/07
Posts: 1342
I need to vent

I really dont know anyone to talk to cause no one really truely understand how difficult its been. This month makes 2 years that we have been trying and im on cycle 17th i took some time off when i had my miscarriage and then took 4 months off in april since i was starting to get really frusterated and it was putting a strain on my marriage. so we've been back at it again for 3 months now.

I can understand if my body is not regular but i always ovulate between CD 12- Cd 14 so i pretty much know when to DTD we do it pretty much every other day from CD 8 on until I ovulate. With DS we tried 1x and got pregnant so im a little surprised its been taking me this long. it took 6 months to get pregnant which resulted in MC and now its been 11 cycles from mc. I havent gone to anyone to get checked out since i finally just finished paying my MC medical bills that took me almost a year, my insurance sucks i have a 2000 dedcutible to pay before anything gets covered. my lutheal phase is pretty much 13-14 days right on the nose

any advice would be fantastic

Lizbet22's picture
Joined: 04/01/09
Posts: 2859

Hey Karen

I want to say great to see you... But....

I don't really have any advice but... A friend of mine got preg first month with her first and then second month with the second which sadly ended I'm m/c.
It took her 12 odd weeks to get her cycle back and over all a year til she fell again... She's about 26 weeks now.

I know she had a hsg at one point.

Other than that she saw a homeopath too I believe.

I am so sorry this journey is taking so long.
It's heart breaking.

You are welcome here sweetie!!!!!



WhiteWolf68's picture
Joined: 02/06/09
Posts: 505

So sorry, vent away all you want! I had so much trouble conceiving after my 2nd son was born, it was just unreal. Unfortunately, in my case it was like "everything went wrong" after him & then too much time passed and I got to age 44. Being younger puts you at a better advantage though. What helped me beat the odds before was taking Royal Jelly/Bee Pollen daily along with herbs (I was using ones by RadiantWonder.com). Getting an HSG done would be helpful. Acupuncture is great I hear too. Lots of alternative options out there, just have to find one that you like & can afford (since I know sometimes expenses can add up). If you do wind up wanting to seek a fertility specialist out, some have payment options/ payment plans and even loans.

Anyway, it's tough, I know.../hugs

Joined: 04/09/06
Posts: 1244

Secondary infertility is a lot more common than most people realize. Somehow, it seems that things get wonky (yep, that is my medical term) for some people after pregnancy and childbirth. Whether the birth or pregnancy caused a trauma that is making it harder to conceive is sometimes not known. It took us 3 years to conceive again after we had a successful pregnancy and birth with my DS. My issues ended up being hormonal. Like you, I always O'd at the same time every month and my luteal phase was normal. I was not producing enough estrogen. It was enough to O, but not enough to produce a mature egg, which in turn, caused low progesterone. My fertility doc suspects that is why I had a m/c after having a successful pregnancy, and that was the reason I could not conceive after the m/c. Infertility is expensive and frustrating. No one really understands it unless they have been through it. My suggestion would be to look into finding a good reproductive endocrinologist. Make sure you have been charting temps, as most REs want to see charts to make sure that you are timing things correctly, plus it helps them see patterns that can indicate potential problems.

Also, my DH ended up with some slight sperm issues, which may have impacted conception also. That can happen. Men get infections sometimes that affect sperm quality or count. Sometimes, it corrects itself.

Best of luck to you. This is a good board. You will find good support here.


angelover02740's picture
Joined: 07/10/07
Posts: 1342

thanks ladies, @ melanie is there anything he gave you for your estrogen being low

smsturner's picture
Joined: 05/11/09
Posts: 1303

Good luck hun Smile

mrs.doolittle's picture
Joined: 02/18/08
Posts: 1335

I haven't logged into pg.org for quite some time, but wanted to respond to you, Karen. Do you have insurance coverage that would cover an RE? If your deductible has already been met I would try to get in to one asap to have some testing done. The semen analysis is fairly inexpensive, but the tests for you aren't. There are various reasons why you could have normal cycles and not be pregnant yet (including extremely bad luck). Without knowing the reason it's hard to "fix" anything. In some cases just having an hsg done will result in pregnancy, but it's not cheap. You could just need antibiotics for your husband or oral medication for yourself. I have "diminished ovarian reserve" (few poor quality eggs) and have a textbook cycle. We're on cycle 16 in our attempt to have another LO naturally (DS took 3 years and lots of drugs, and money, to conceive). I wouldn't wish infertility on any woman. It's tough. Really, really tough. We're toying with the thought of returning to our acupuncturist, but I honestly don't know if I have it in me to drive there several times a week (1.5 hours one way; we're in a rural area). I attribute part of our success to acupuncture though.

angelover02740's picture
Joined: 07/10/07
Posts: 1342

my insurance does cover RE but very little i think like 20% of it, im not anywhere close to meeting my deb, we've had a very good health year knock on wood, i probably will send dh to get a semen check to rule him out, im buying royal jelly and maca and trying it this month to see if it helps

Joined: 03/02/07
Posts: 473

Hi Karen,
Sorry you are going through this, it is so tough. I also conceived my first on the first try and never anticipated major problems after that. My second one took about a year and occurred following a fertility workup, including HSG and me starting thyroid medication. I had obvious signs of trouble, though with a very short LP and spotting throughout the cycle. While TTC #3 not too long later, I found out I had severely damaged tubes from endometriosis in addition to endo throughout my pelvis. It was shocking, to say the least, but, again, I had lots of signs of trouble, the same cycle issues as before and lots of pain. I was trying different herbal remedies to try to help but obviously that was no help to me in my situation.

I am sorry that your insurance doesn't give you much in the way of coverage, because at this point a doctor would surely give you a full workup to try to see what the hold up is. Since you have been doing this for quite a while, I would at least recommend getting an HSG and having your husband do the SA. That could rule out a bunch of major potential barriers pretty quickly. Then maybe you could do some simple clomid or femara cycles-those wouldn't be very expensive. You could ask about some payment plans too, my clinic had lots of things in place to help people that had to pay out of pocket.

I had no idea how devastating secondary infertility could be, nor did I know how common it is. Wishing you the best of luck.

Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

I don't know if this will be much help, but I hope it will lift your spirits. My husband and I have been together 4 years now. We tried on our own for first 2 years. Last year we went through fertility with no luck. I started developing alot of cyst and Dec 23 2012 my right ovary was removed. I had made up in my mind it was beyond my control at that point. I stopped trying and decided to be content just like we were. Sept 1st 2012 I left my job and decided to go back to school....last week I started having alot of stomach problems, constipation, gas...but not sick, and nothing hurt. Well, I waited and suffered long enough and decided I would go to the doctor, but before I went I took a test just to rule it out. It wasn't a thought in my head it would be positive but I was a day late on my cycle, which isnt abnormal for me...low and behold I now have not 1 but 8 positive pregnancy test. I am due June 24th. So, after this long journey of fertility, worry, stress, and like you said a marriage taking its toll...we are expecting naturally on our own. No fertility, nothing. There is hope. Keep praying, keep believing, and have fun with it. Stress is very hard on the body. Baby wishes to you.

Joined: 04/09/06
Posts: 1244

"angelover02740" wrote:

thanks ladies, @ melanie is there anything he gave you for your estrogen being low

Sorry I did not get to this. I don't frequent this board too much anymore. I ended up using injecctable hormones to increase my estrogen. It took 4 cycles of those meds, plus losing some weight and changing my diet, to finally conceive my twins. It was definitely not cheap, and it was something that we took a while to consider before committing. My RE was very conservative, so our chances for higher order multiples was low. We did not even expect twins since I only had one mature egg right before I ovulated. However, another egg matured right before I O'd. My RE would not let you continue with a cycle if you had more than two mature eggs, and he preferred couples only try with one mature egg. However, you cannot control everything that happens with meds.