is there any hope left?

22 posts / 0 new
Last post
kadibug's picture
Joined: 07/17/11
Posts: 247
is there any hope left?

so glad to have found this site and forum! it's official - i have been ttc for 2 years.

this week, i found out my recent iui failed Sad i have been completely depressed.

i have unexplained infertility. the first year of ttc, we had two m/c's. this most recent year - NOTHING. i am at an end of all hope. Sad

Lizbet22's picture
Joined: 04/01/09
Posts: 2859

I am so sorry you are going through this.
Have you seen a doc to give you a course of action?
Many of the girls here are doing IUI and I am sure they will be of help and comfort to you.
Please introduce yourself and we can all try and help you regain some faith.
Hugs
xxxxxxxxxx

clio's picture
Joined: 11/05/07
Posts: 590

I thought I'd give you some hope!

I thought I was a hopeless case. I started at 35, miscarried my first, had a chemical pregnancy, and then an ectopic at 37. Then, for 15 months, nothing. My PCOS was getting worse: I stopped developing enough estrogen to create a good egg and a thick lining. I barely needed pads during AF on unmedicated cycles. In those 15 months, I did Clomid and IUI twice--BFN. Two rounds of injectables and IUI--BFN. By now I was 38, and I felt like my time was running out. I was all set for IVF when I discovered that my third injectables cycle with IUI worked! And so far, the pregnancy is progressing well.

Hold onto hope! It's a hard hard road, I know. But it's not impossible!

hopin2bpreggermeggers's picture
Joined: 02/22/10
Posts: 567

*ok, so I had this long post, but my browser decided to freeze as I was uploading*

:bigarmhug: Welcome. You have every right to be upset, but that is why were are here: to listen and comfort. Liz is a fantabulous moderator and all the girls are wonderful.

It *will* happen, I know it! And we're gonna be here for you every step fo the way. So just pull up a chair, grab a drink, introduce yourself, and give us your story (if you want).

T&P coming your way!! Good to meet you despite the circumstances.

blissfulliss's picture
Joined: 03/03/09
Posts: 337

I know how you feel.. :bigarmhug: We have unexplained & had 2 failed IUI's before deciding to move on to something else (after a looong break). Do take some time for yourself, girl, & as hard as it is, don't give up hope...:bigarmhug:

tacie's picture
Joined: 07/06/09
Posts: 332

Keep your chin up and hope in your heart -- it's been a long long road for myself and DH so I can understand. The ladies here are WONDERFUL! :bigarmhug:

kadibug's picture
Joined: 07/17/11
Posts: 247
test

thanks for the responses. i've tried other sites and no one seems to respond much. i guess it's just finding the right type of forum. those who have been ttc for as long as us do have a different perspective, you know what i mean?

well, my signature says most... tests, tests, and nothing results in a diagnosis. i didn't mention, but i also had all the hormones and blood work done, too. all is well... if it was well, why no pg?

i know others who have a diagnosed infertility have struggles which hurt, but i am so jealous of them. i wish i knew WHY i can't have children.

my best friends are gay men and the girlfriends i do have are completely unable to relate; either they don't want to have families yet or they are as fertile as hell. it's been a lonely road for me.

thank you all, for being so positive!!!

Joined: 07/26/04
Posts: 1595

I could not have said it any better than most of the women on here. Even though it is very hard you have to just keep trying. We have all had months were we "take breaks" and then we are back at it again. I wish you the best of luck and hopefully in the near future you will get that BFP! :bighug:

FLSunshineMom's picture
Joined: 06/07/06
Posts: 3859

:bigarmhug: Welcome. This is a great place for support.

yipeeladybug's picture
Joined: 01/18/06
Posts: 1214

I agree, this is a wonderful place for support.

I have been TTC #2 for 2 years as well, with two chem pgs. I've been tested, DH will be tested soon and we'll find out at the end of next month.

I'm sorry that you don't have any answers, but I hope that you won't have to be here much longer. *hugehugs*

blissfulliss's picture
Joined: 03/03/09
Posts: 337

"kadibug" wrote:

well, my signature says most... tests, tests, and nothing results in a diagnosis. i didn't mention, but i also had all the hormones and blood work done, too. all is well... if it was well, why no pg?

i know others who have a diagnosed infertility have struggles which hurt, but i am so jealous of them. i wish i knew WHY i can't have children.

I SOOO know what you mean..... we were diagnosed with unexplained infertility, which to me, doesn't mean that it's infertility for no reason, just a reason yet unknown. Honestly, wanting to know WHY has driven me crazy for, oh, about the last 3 years or so.. ha.
All of our blood work, hormone levels, HSG, have been great, DH has astronomically amazing numbers whenever he's had SA's done, my body's responded excellently to Clomid, ovulate regularly on my own, etc.
There's GOT to be a reason... it was super helpful when we started seeing our acupuncturist this past month because she views Eastern & Western medicine together, knowing that there is a place for both alternative treatments (acupuncture, herbs, nutritional supplements) AND traditional medicine (HSG's, IUI's, etc).. plus the stuff that falls in between, like eating a healthy diet, taking care of your body, etc. She helped us figure out the "why" and I sure as heck hope that she truly has helped us find the key to unlocking our infertility mystery...
No clue if acupuncture or alternative medicine of any kind appeals to you or is available to you, but it's helping me, a fellow "unexplained" infertility gal......:) I really hope you guys can find some answers, too!!!

kadibug's picture
Joined: 07/17/11
Posts: 247
pregnancy mags at the RE's office?!

i just got back from a family vacation with four nephews and one niece... all under the age 4! the first day was torture. i was miserably sad and jealous. i simply sat and was polite, but definitely not happy to be there. i had to get over it, so i did. by day four, i was fine and playing with the kids even though they reminded me of my own failures to conceive. Sad

my lap was moved to sept. we simply don't have the money for the bill until then. i'm sad about this. another month to sit and wait to possibly find out why i can't have children.

enough about that - thanks for reading my posts and giving me advice.

blissfulliss - thank you for sharing! have you tried dong quai? a friend of mine, whom is chinese, recommended it. if you've tried it, let me know what it was like.

just sharing this fun little fact about the university of utah infertility and ivf lab, they have an assortment of pregnancy and baby magazines. WHY? it really pisses me off.

good luck all!

Joined: 02/24/11
Posts: 1651

Those mag are def either a tease or an way of encouragement :/ ! You are def not a failure it just takes us a little long to create perfection Smile

raingirl28's picture
Joined: 09/03/07
Posts: 1347

Kadybug-belated but welcome to the board!

Sounds like you and I have a lot in common. In real life I have no TTC friends or any girl friends with kids or who want to have kids. Most girls I know don't want kids at all! O also have a lot of gay male friends. Luckily one is a really close friend of mine and he knows about out TTC and he is such a good guy to talk about it with. Smile

My DH is also younger than I am (from your signature) - I'm 33 and he's 28. Smile

Just keep trying, it's all you can do. Just don't forget to live life while you do it!

Joined: 07/30/11
Posts: 2

Hi kadibug & everyone!

I am actually new to this forum (forums in general) as well, and my story sounds very similar to yours.
DH (28) and I (31) have been TTC since 4/09 with mc's 8/09 and 8/10. Since then nothing. We have had all the typical tests and nothing seems to be wrong. Hormone levels/blood test all came back great, hsg was perfect & SA results were above average..

We are on our 2nd round of clomid and BFN's both time. Waiting to hear back from dr. on tuesday if we should move on to IUI...

I definitely understand how you feel as I am trying to remain hopeful but it gets more and more difficult every month and since you are "unexplained" there is nothing that can really be done except for the dr. to throw things at the wall and hope something sticks..

I hope you & everyone else on this long ttc journey has luck soon!
(and I hope this post works since I have no idea what I'm doing... haha Smile

kadibug's picture
Joined: 07/17/11
Posts: 247
tests?

raingirl28 & stacy27 -

have either of you had a laparoscopy done? i would like to know what tests others with unexplained infertility have had done. it would help me to know if my doc has been doing everything. i went for a second opinion and the other doc didn't seem to find any other info to help. both docs were RE's, of course. the obgyn days were over a year ago!

i've had all the hormones checked at cd 3 & 23, hsg, blood work to check for clotting, and ultrasounds to ensure eggs were produced. now, next month i'll have a lap done to check for endo. my left ovary seems to be attached to my uterus and does not move during exams. part of me is scared to get an answer and the other part is anxious to get one... so it's a mess in my head. if it's endo, i can move forward. if there isn't endo, back to the drawing board.

toss an idea around and see if one sticks - brilliant analogy, stacy27!

i have not been tested for pcos b/c the doc is certain i don't have it. how is one tested for it? should i ask for a test even though he's certain it would be a waste of time? were either of you tested for pcos?

thanks for posting. it was nice to connected to others with the same problem. it's been very difficult.

raingirl28 - my gay friends really try to help me deal with it. before dh had an sa, some offered to be a donor. they really do try but are not able to know how i feel. my girlfriends (i only have a few) aren't starting to have children yet or have no plans to ever start, similar to your friends. the few girlfriends i did have with children, i have slowly drifted from. either they were very insensitive and i couldn't take it anymore, or our lives just naturally took different paths. one distanced herself from me out of guilt - she started ttc the same time i did and got pg. in three months. it's just too awkward for her (and me if i'm totally honest). i know she's on to ttc #2 and i simply cannot take the pain of hearing her good news as i know it will come quickly. i hide her on facebook but then decided to just stay clear of facebook -- too many baby and pg postings!

this is long!

Joined: 07/30/11
Posts: 2

Kadibug-

I have not had a laparoscopy (wondering if I should now), but we have been to 2 RE's. The first one did cd 3 hormone, blood clotting and genetic mutation test, hsg and sa. All came back normal. We switched RE's due to a good recommendation from a friend and my OB/GYN office.... but the only additional test our new RE performed was the cd 23 hormone levels...and again all were normal. Neither of them have ever done ultrasounds to make sure eggs were produced. They said I ovulate based on my cd 23 progesterone levels and that my eggs "should be" fine based on cd 3 fsh levels.. maybe I should ask about this. (they have never even checked this with being on Clomid, the only ultrasound they do is on cd3 to make sure I have no cysts and to check the lining of my uterus)

I'm not sure about testing for PCOS as I have not been. Neither dr. has ever mentioned it so I guess I have never wondered myself. I think testing involves a combination of physical exam and bloodwork. I don't think it's invasive at all (I have a friend that was just diagnosed with it and I know it was not too difficult as she is deathly afraid of dr's, needles etc and she was just fine for her tests- although she doesn't even want kids so l guess no big deal for her)

I know exactly what you mean about being scared to get an answer but anxious too. Who would have ever thought that being told "there is nothing wrong with you" by a dr. would be BAD news... but sometimes it's frustrating because you just wish they would find one little thing..(nothing major of course) that could be tweaked and then everything would be just fine.

It's funny that you mention blocking someone on fb as I have been considering getting rid of mine altogether. I have 36 "friends" who are pregnant (sad that I counted.. but my husband thought I was exaggerating when I said "everyone is pregnant" ) or have had babies in the last 3 months so everything is ultrasound or newborn pics and it's like rubbing salt in the wound every day. I just got a friend request last week from an old colleague who moved to CO last year and her first email to me was " I don't know if you heard, but I'm expecting a baby boy in Nov!" ugh.. and found out just yesterday after typing this that another friend is pregnant. I have also been avoiding my best friend (good thing she lives in Hawaii so it's not so obvious to her) but she and her husband started trying just 2 months ago and I'm scared to talk to her every other week or so because I'm afraid she will tell me she's pregnant. So maddening as I really do want to be happy for people but every month that ticks by it gets harder and harder to be.

Thanks for writing back though! I really appreciate the words of encouragement and advice. I was nervous to join a forum as I never have before but a good friend recommended it as she went through some struggles to get pregnant too and it definitely helped her to connect with people that knew what she was going through!

Good luck next month. I hope everything turns out okay! And you are right at least you will know how to move forward one way or another!!

Sorry mine is so long... I guess since I'm new I have a lot to say that I've been holding in for a long time! :confused:

raingirl28's picture
Joined: 09/03/07
Posts: 1347

Kadibug and Stacy,

Your CD3 and CD23 (or CD21) blood work IS the PCOS test. It's the blood test that tests the hormone ratio and would indicate PCOS of the ratios came back abnormal.

I have had a LAP and HSG. I am actually seeing my RE on Tuesday. All I got was a short note after mine that read "mild endo, left tube is fine, right tube is blocked". So... the LAP and HSG found things that we previously thought were ok. Endo is not believed to affect fertility directly, but it's a very complex and not well understood disease.

My right tube showed fine doing the test where they use ultrasound and saline solution to test to see if they are open. Yet during my LAP when they tested she said blocked. So, who knows?

blissfulliss's picture
Joined: 03/03/09
Posts: 337

kadibug - No, I've never tried the dong quai... the herbal tincture I'm taking is something called Scolopendrium & it's for more of an autoimmune system thing rather than directly focused on fertility/reproductive organs.

Just wanted to add about the PCOS - I never had the day 3 testing done, just a test done 8dpo, which I think would be about CD 22. I asked my RE a couple of times if we needed to do the FSH test, but because my CD22 test showed I'd clearly ovulated based on my progesterone levels combined with the fact that I'd responded so well to Clomid, they said the FSH test would be unnecessary as all it does it show that you do have a good reserve of eggs... no test can show the actual quality of eggs, save when you're well into the IVF process.
For my 2 IUI's, I did have ultrasounds on CD3 to check for cysts & lining thickness & CD12 to see how many follicles we were dealing with, followed by a trigger shot of hcG usually later that evening, (one time around midnight, I think..) then the IUI on CD14.
I know for me personally, I didn't feel right not having the FSH test til my RE explained that because I'd had so many follicles @ my CD12 u/s that the FSH would be unnecessary because they'd seen the eggs...plenty of them.
But since you guys HAVE had the FSH, I wouldn't worry about it...I know you haven't had the CD12 u/s but the FSH is a pretty strong indicator, especially if your progesterone levels show you've ovulated @ your CD21-23 testings AND you have a steady, regular cycle.
Just my 2 cents.. Smile

ChrissyD2103's picture
Joined: 10/09/07
Posts: 526

There is always hope!!! I am in my 6th year of TTC and I still have hope. Do I have dark days? Sure. I eat some ice cream, buy some new shoes, laugh with my friends, have a good cry, and then pick myself up and keep on keeping on. So sorry that you are going through infertility it truly is the mst difficult thing I have ever had to walk through. All the other girls said everything......sorry I am late here.....but welcome to the board I hope your stay is nice and short!

kadibug's picture
Joined: 07/17/11
Posts: 247

thanks for telling me when/what PCOS is testing for, raingirl. i really didn't know. no wonder my when i ask, the RE says he's certain i don't have it.

i'm going in to the RE on tues. to talk about micro IVF. it's something i just learned about... you use clomid to stimulate eggs for the procedure instead of all the other stuff. sure, you get less eggs but it's like 1/3 the cost. the office i go to has an insurance you can purchase to keep trying IVF until it works. you pay for the insurance (the insurance is about 2k) and then the first IVF. after the first IVF, the following IVF's are only the cost of the insurance. hahhaha. "only"

have any of you discussed or thought about micro IVF? i'm really trying to find out all that i can. it's given me some MUCH needed hope. i do know that my RE might say i am not a candidate for micro IVF, so i must be prepared to hear this. i know i'm a good candidate for IVF and was told this past spring to forgo future IUI's and go strait to IVF.

it's taken me some time to accept that i am "this" infertile and for no apparent reason (yet). i can now say that my best shot is IVF and not feel like a failure. i just wish it wasn't so much damn money.

i know i'm not alone financially either. i am sure you can relate - dh and i are both public school teachers and saving for IVF will take us until june. we've always had a savings but it's really a disgrace to savings in the first place. now we're trying to save even more! it's very frustrating and difficult. dh's parents offered to pay for IVF but we (mostly dh) are uncomfortable with that. dh is very proud that he hasn't taken money from his wealthy parents, unlike his siblings... whom used them for buying cars, homes, furniture, grad school - you name it. i finally talked dh into taking a little bit if june arrives and we are a few grand short. we'll see if he'll live up to this. having the option of micro IVF's costs would be such an easier route for us.

kadibug's picture
Joined: 07/17/11
Posts: 247

tell me how it went seeing the doc. i'm very curious to hear since your LAP showed more. did the HSG also show the same as the LAP?

endo is such an odd disease. if it was a man's disease, they'd know more about it! kidding... kind of.

"raingirl28" wrote:

Kadibug and Stacy,

Your CD3 and CD23 (or CD21) blood work IS the PCOS test. It's the blood test that tests the hormone ratio and would indicate PCOS of the ratios came back abnormal.

I have had a LAP and HSG. I am actually seeing my RE on Tuesday. All I got was a short note after mine that read "mild endo, left tube is fine, right tube is blocked". So... the LAP and HSG found things that we previously thought were ok. Endo is not believed to affect fertility directly, but it's a very complex and not well understood disease.

My right tube showed fine doing the test where they use ultrasound and saline solution to test to see if they are open. Yet during my LAP when they tested she said blocked. So, who knows?