Torn.....

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ChrissyD2103's picture
Joined: 10/09/07
Posts: 526
Torn.....

Ugh, I am so restless and torn right now……Ok so here is the deal I have my HSG on Wed and I am terrified of the results either way for different reasons. Clear means good, but then since I have already had 1 possible ectopic on that side there is a very high chance of having another, so that scares me a bit. I really don’t want to go through that again…..If there is blockage then that means IVF is the only way I will ever have another biological child. I have talked with a grief counselor about my fertility and she has said if I feel like I need to do IVF to put things to rest then to do it ,but to realize that it may not happen that way either. Which I do, but the whole process seems so overwhelming and daunting…….Blah. DH and I have talked and he is on board for whatever. He thinks if my tube is clear we should try on our own for 3 months and if we are not pregnant by Dec, then we should start IVF in Jan. If it is blocked he wants to go straight to IVF. I am not sure……Should I just bypass the chance of another ectopic and go straight to IVF ( I know there is still a small chance of an ectopic) or take the chance and TTC on our own if my tube is clear. The other thing that has me wondering is that if my HSG is clear we will never be able to confirm if it was ectopic because nothing was ever found on ultrasound…..Soooooo yeah…….Ugh. We are still going forward with adoption we finally were able to get our fingerprints done today and we had to take the car seat safety classes last week. We figure adoption can be such a long process to begin with so we can still do IVF in the mean time if I do get preg we can put all the adoption stuff on ice until later since one day we will adopt no matter what…..Thoughts????

WhiteWolf68's picture
Joined: 02/06/09
Posts: 505

I dunno what to say...it's so difficult. You're very lucky to be able to adopt, we did the math here and just cannot afford it (domestic or international) so we're moving onto IUI which is much easier on us than IVF. If your tube is clear, I say keep on TTC on your own if age isn't an option and keep going ahead with the adoption.

Hugs...

ChrissyD2103's picture
Joined: 10/09/07
Posts: 526

Jennifer- Sorry that adoption isn't in reach for you guys. I don't understand why they don't make it more affordable for normal everyday working people, when there are soooooooooo many kids out there who need loving families???

Because adoption can be so spendy, we have decided to go through the foster care system for that very reason. There are many newborns/infants that come to the state for various reasons. We are ok with mild medical stuff and don't care about race. So that is where we are there. As far as age I am ok as far as I know. I am almost 29 and so far have a great egg reserve and egg quality, BUT every woman on my mom's side has gone through menopause at 35, luckily I tend to favor my dad's side. But you never know???? I hate how many variables there are in TTC BLAH!!!!

Lizbet22's picture
Joined: 04/01/09
Posts: 2859

Oh Carisssa
Your head must be in bits at the moment!
I have no idea what I would do in that situation...I think if there was a chance of IVF and it had a higher success rate then I would probably go for that...yes I agree its daunting...but..
But then I don't know because I would still was to ttc as well!
Until in that situation its hard to give an honest opinion!
Which way are you leaning too?
I guess you may be able to focus more on one or the other once the HSG results are in!

Well done with the Car seat training!
I think its good to carry on with the adoption process still...I love the thought of adoption..always have done even before ttc...so many children out there who need the love of good parents!!

Let us know how the HSG goes okay!
I am thinking of you
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

WhiteWolf68's picture
Joined: 02/06/09
Posts: 505

29 is young! I didn't have my first till 37 and there's lots you can do to improve egg quality even more, stuff simple like Q10, Wheat Grass, eating more organic. So I think you've got great odds. I can relate with the tube issue though, I have only one tube too. That's great about the foster program, my DH said no to that for personal reasons.

I think your HSG will go well, I'm getting the saline test done soon (forgot the name of it). KUP...I wish things were easier on all of us.... Sad

mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
Posts: 2541

My thought, with the cost of IVF I would be TTC on my own for as long as possible.

We are looking at adoption eventually too. I came through the foster system and was adopted (finalized) at 5.5 years old. With adoption through the foster system do a lot of studying on attachment issues - almost all foster kids will have some attachment issues - and they continue into adulthood (sigh, yes I have issues).

Good luck with the test.

ChrissyD2103's picture
Joined: 10/09/07
Posts: 526

"mom2robbie" wrote:

My thought, with the cost of IVF I would be TTC on my own for as long as possible.

We are looking at adoption eventually too. I came through the foster system and was adopted (finalized) at 5.5 years old. With adoption through the foster system do a lot of studying on attachment issues - almost all foster kids will have some attachment issues - and they continue into adulthood (sigh, yes I have issues).

Good luck with the test.

I am not sure how long I have though......Being that, no joke every single female on my moms side including my mother was in full blown menopause by 35, or had to have a hystorectomy......At most if I can TTC on my own I think I am only willing to give it 6 months max. One of the clinics here has a pretty good cost share program at $15,000 not including meds and monitering which thank God are covered by my insurace. That includes 3 fresh cycles and 3 frozen transfers, (assuming I would have enough embies). If no baby after all that we get $12,000 back. I figire I would spend more than that on a car. Why not a baby....or 2 Wink

We are aware that all kids from foster care will come with some sort of issue. We are only willing to adopt children 12 months or younger, which will cut down on some attachment issues, (hopefully). Our CW is great and we are confident that we will be able to find a good match at some point. In our area there tends to be a lot of newborns that come into care because we are right by the states women prison.......

ChrissyD2103's picture
Joined: 10/09/07
Posts: 526

"Lizbet22" wrote:

Oh Carisssa
Your head must be in bits at the moment!
I have no idea what I would do in that situation...I think if there was a chance of IVF and it had a higher success rate then I would probably go for that...yes I agree its daunting...but..
But then I don't know because I would still was to ttc as well!
Until in that situation its hard to give an honest opinion!
Which way are you leaning too?
I guess you may be able to focus more on one or the other once the HSG results are in!

Well done with the Car seat training!
I think its good to carry on with the adoption process still...I love the thought of adoption..always have done even before ttc...so many children out there who need the love of good parents!!

Let us know how the HSG goes okay!
I am thinking of you
xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I think we are leaning torwards IVF. Even if my tube is clear. I mean we have been at this for 6 years now I am sick of messing around, watching life pass me by, feeling like I am stuck until I can complete my family. DH and I talked last night and even if my tube blocked we will wait till Dec/Jan to start just to give my body time to heal and to hopfully be at my goal weight. I figure the healthier the enviornment the better....right??? I am already down 10 lbs from 3 weeks ago so hopefully it will keep coming off!!! In all I am down 25 lbs from 3 years ago now I still have 20 to go blah!!! How did I get so FAT!!! lol.....So yeah and hey if I get preg on my own in the mean time, (assuming my tube is clear) than AWESOME!!

So yeah I think that is our plan for now Smile

bisksprout's picture
Joined: 07/06/06
Posts: 474

Considering how long you've been trying... I'd go right for the big guns, IVF. Yes, the process is long and crazy at times, it's also nice to know that it's more controlled and gives you a chance for a better outcome.

*HUGS* not an easy decision, but you and DH know what is best for you and your family. The IVF board on here is phenomenal. The ladies on there can answer any questions you may have. And it doesn't hurt to try naturally in the mean time Smile

tacie's picture
Joined: 07/06/09
Posts: 332

Well I am thinking that you should just take a leap and go for IVF if they accept you - it's been such a long hard road girl! If it works for you, then why not!
Awesome to hear that you've got fingerprinting done SmileYahoo I'm excited for you on the adoption side Smile

All the best with the HSG!

ChrissyD2103's picture
Joined: 10/09/07
Posts: 526

"tacie" wrote:

Well I am thinking that you should just take a leap and go for IVF if they accept you - it's been such a long hard road girl! If it works for you, then why not!
Awesome to hear that you've got fingerprinting done SmileYahoo I'm excited for you on the adoption side Smile

All the best with the HSG!

Thanks girlie!! How is it going for you guys??

They will take me Smile My current RE put in a refferal for us last Jan, but we just weren't ready yet. I should have listened to my RE then I guess, she told me I am a perfect candidate for IVF and she would be shocked if it didn't work for us that way. I guess I just needed to do the injectibles with the timed Bding to get myself to the place I am now?? I don't know all this TTC stuff can make a person whacky!!!