TTC is being put on hold :(

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Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
Joined: 02/01/11
Posts: 208
TTC is being put on hold :(

Well I haven't been around much but really need to talk about this. I hurt my knee back in Aug but didn't go to the doctor right away. I now know what I did to my knee and it isn't good. I tore my ACL and have a hairline fracture. I go see a surgeon next week. I know I'll need surgery which means we can't try for a while. My doctor said when I get better I can go right to the RE but just so sad not to be moving to the next step. I feel like I won't ever be a mom and I want it so badly. I try to not let my DH know how much I'm hurting cause he thinks if we can't ever have one then I will leave. I know I wouldn't ever leave him he is my rock but he just doesn't understand how I feel. Maybe there is something else that I'm going to do but I just want to know what the future holds for me. I know I'm the problem with all the things wrong with me. I feel like half a women and there is nothing I can do about it. I would do anything but we can only afford so much. We were doing really well and had a good nest egg starting after we both lost our full time jobs less then 2 years apart but then my 4runner died and cost to much to fix so we now have a car payment again. So now with going out of work possible and a down payment on a newer car money is more an issue.

We are both back to work full time with great advancements opportunities. I have already gotten the lead in my department. I was really scared cause we lost two of our managers, one the a different store the other to another company. I now have a awesome manager who is already training me in more depth. I've learned so much from the two of them. I really hope it is a place that I can become a manager maybe not store manager but I'm not getting my hopes up. I was at my last job for over 8 years and only was a key carrier but I did the managers job just not the pay.

Sorry I went on and on. I just needed to tell someone. I'm trying to take it day by day but of course I had to POAS and got a BFN so I'm really upset. I know there is only one thing I can do and that's wait and see.

Thank you ladies for reading if you made it this far. Don't need any comments just needed to let it all out.

mom2robbie's picture
Last seen: 2 years 1 month ago
Joined: 01/20/07
Posts: 2541

Hugs Carin. Sorry about your knee problems. I know what they are like and it is not fun.

I know what you are saying of not feeling like a whole woman. We have been indoctrinated since a young age that to be real women we need to have it all - a good job, married and children. When you don't have that it is so hard. I come from a religious background of marrying young and having lots of babies. I married when I was 32 (an old maid and NO chance of getting married) and finally had Robbie just before I was 36. Infertility is never talked about and you are made to feel that since you have infertility you must not be worthy of children.

Of course none of that is true. Even with a diagnosis the causes of infertility and then over-coming so that you have children is hard.

I hope that everything with your knee gets fixed quickly and you can get back to ttc.


dreamchaser's picture
Last seen: 11 months 2 weeks ago
Joined: 01/31/07
Posts: 681

I am so sorry to hear about your knee and having to put ttc on hold while you take care of it. I hope you get your surgery quickly and back feeling 100% again!

Lizbet22's picture
Last seen: 1 year 7 months ago
Joined: 04/01/09
Posts: 2859

Ii am so late to this!! I am so sorry!!!!
I am so sorry about your knee!!
I too hope surgery comes quick and that your recovery is fast and as easy as possible!!!
Huge huge hugs to you!!!!!!

smsturner's picture
Last seen: 1 year 5 months ago
Joined: 05/11/09
Posts: 1303

I'm so sorry. I had a severe knee injury myself 6 years ago. It was very bad, and the recovery took years. I still have pain.
It's so very lousy that you can't try for a bit. But one thing to think about is that it's great you are getting it taken care of now. Carrying the extra weight would be so painful, and if it's weak like mine was, you could be putting yourself at a bad risk for a scary fall. I was on crutches after 6 months with both of my pregnancies bcs once the weight was too much, I was in constant severe pain, and walking was very unsteady. Luckily, I only fell once and twisted so the baby was ok, but it could have been worse!

Good luck with your surgery, I hope your recovery is fast and easy!! And that you are back to your next step in no time, with a healthy knee to help you walk though a pregnancy!! Smile

Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
Joined: 02/01/11
Posts: 208

Thanks Ladies!! I haven't been on at all but came on cause I might not need surgery but I might. I have to do therapy for a month and see where I'm at. There is a chance that we could be only a couple months to TTC again. I'm ok with that cause we were going to wait for new insurance at the New Year before we go to the RE. On the down side could be out longer if I do need surgery in the long run. On a good note to that I can get some of my pay by then right now I haven't been full-time long enough.

I got on here and reread what my first post said and knew I was crazy Carin that day. WOW I'm sorry to everyone who had or did read it.