TTC is being put on hold :(
Well I haven't been around much but really need to talk about this. I hurt my knee back in Aug but didn't go to the doctor right away. I now know what I did to my knee and it isn't good. I tore my ACL and have a hairline fracture. I go see a surgeon next week. I know I'll need surgery which means we can't try for a while. My doctor said when I get better I can go right to the RE but just so sad not to be moving to the next step. I feel like I won't ever be a mom and I want it so badly. I try to not let my DH know how much I'm hurting cause he thinks if we can't ever have one then I will leave. I know I wouldn't ever leave him he is my rock but he just doesn't understand how I feel. Maybe there is something else that I'm going to do but I just want to know what the future holds for me. I know I'm the problem with all the things wrong with me. I feel like half a women and there is nothing I can do about it. I would do anything but we can only afford so much. We were doing really well and had a good nest egg starting after we both lost our full time jobs less then 2 years apart but then my 4runner died and cost to much to fix so we now have a car payment again. So now with going out of work possible and a down payment on a newer car money is more an issue.
We are both back to work full time with great advancements opportunities. I have already gotten the lead in my department. I was really scared cause we lost two of our managers, one the a different store the other to another company. I now have a awesome manager who is already training me in more depth. I've learned so much from the two of them. I really hope it is a place that I can become a manager maybe not store manager but I'm not getting my hopes up. I was at my last job for over 8 years and only was a key carrier but I did the managers job just not the pay.
Sorry I went on and on. I just needed to tell someone. I'm trying to take it day by day but of course I had to POAS and got a BFN so I'm really upset. I know there is only one thing I can do and that's wait and see.
Thank you ladies for reading if you made it this far. Don't need any comments just needed to let it all out.