UPDATE: Officially BFN. I could tell by her voice before she even said it, calling me "sweetie" and all. I feel even worse than ordinarily getting a BFN at home because she sounded so sorry for me. It feels more pathetic someone telling you. You'd think I'd stop getting upset by now. Especially since there was no real hope of this working. I think we need to do IVF, or stop this altogether. I just can't do this every month.
I just came home from my doctors office where they did a blood pregnancy test-for 30$ copay! Seriously! FRER's are a toatal bargain compared to that.
I took Femara and did a monitored cycle this month. Had a BFN a couple days ago at home, and am definitely not feeling it, so expecting a negative blood test. Everything was perfect during each ultrasound/bloodwork, too. Maybe this is what I need to finally get the reality that my tubes won't let this happen.
Each time I went in for bloodwork or ultrasound this month-30$ copay! I am just thinking I should nix the whole monitored cycle idea since the doctor has given me no hope that it will work, and it's probably throwing $$$$ down the drain for nothing. Throw in prescriptions, OPK's, HPT's and (silly me) acupuncture, and still no baby, but more $$$$ spent.
I haven't always been thinking of this in a practical manner. I just was willing to do it to get a baby. But after all this time, and no baby, sometimes it just doesn't seem worth it anymore to spend the money. The RE office has said IVF is covered by insurance, but I'm sure there are all kinds of hidden costs/copays, etc and no guarantee it will work either.
Maybe I should look at it this way......my body has supplied me with free birth control! If only that was what I wanted!
*HUGS* I can relate to what you are saying and how you are feeling. We've put alot of money in to ttc over the past 7 years and unfortunately for us still no baby. It's very disheartening to say the least. We don't have any regrets, but it is a bitter pill to swallow when we make our loan payments. I'm sorry about the bfn, I hope you get a nice surprise from your beta today!
the costs are crazy. ttc is emotionally taxing and then the costs are like insult to injury, right? the few times i've had pg's (they ended as m/c's) i remember reading others post complaints about the cost of neonatal care. i would giggle to myself and think, "at least you didn't have to pay $1,000's to GET pg."
dh and i can afford IUI's by giving up a lot... but IVF is something else, as is adoption. how will we pay for all this?!
hang in there. it's frustrating, i know.
Me - 33 AMH 1.22, DOR, Polyspermy
DH - 30 Low Testosterone
WOOF - Annabell, 7 & Eleanor, 8
TTC #1, 7/2009
2 M/C's 2010
1 M/C 2011, tri18
2 IUI's 2011 BFN
IVF - 4/2012
BFP - 10dpt
u/s 5/7 - HB128, one bean!
u/s 5/17 - HB150, 7 mm bleeding (eek!)
u/s 5/24 - HB162
u/s 5/31 - HB180, NT .8
u/s 6/7 - HB161, NT 1.15
us/ 6/12 - HB143
I'm so sorry. *Hugs* I always hated hearing the nurse when she would call to share the bad news.