unfortunately, i'm back

21 posts / 0 new
Last post
kadibug's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 2 weeks ago
Joined: 07/17/11
Posts: 247
unfortunately, i'm back

i just found out today that my baby has severe abnormalities and will die in the next few weeks. we are are left with this decision - let the baby die or have an abortion. if the baby does, by a miracle, make it to term it will die in the first 6 months of life.

i'm not looking for any advice in my decision, abortion or waiting for the baby to pass, but rather support from those who have been there on this long road to motherhood... seems like it will never come.

here i am, almost 11 weeks and facing my third pg loss. i've seen it move and it's little heart beat so many times. i'm in shock and completely devastated.

i have appointments this week and next to have a full diagnosis done to maybe help dh and i decide if we should perhaps life childfree or seek other options. clearly, we struggle making babies together.

this is quiet possibly the worse day of my life.

MissyJ's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 months 3 weeks ago
Joined: 01/31/02
Posts: 3289

*lurking* ((((((((((HUGS)))))))))) I am so very sorry that you are dealing with this devastating news. I don't know what diagnosis you received but if you want to email me at [email]missyj@pregnancy.org[/email] I can try to see if I can help you connect with others that have shared this journey.

Sending you our love and support.

~Missy

raingirl28's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 8 months ago
Joined: 09/03/07
Posts: 1347

**huge hugs** I'm so sorry that this has happened. Have you and DH had any genetic testing done?

The road to motherhood (or parenthood) is a rocky one. I'm on cycle #57 and I never thought it would take this long. I just take it one day at a time. What works for me is having hobbies and learning how to be independent and happy as an adult with a full understanding that I may never have kids. I'm not sure if that would work for you.

Sending you all the hugs and good thoughts I can during this difficult time.

Offline
Last seen: 3 years 11 months ago
Joined: 08/09/11
Posts: 269

:lurk:

I'm so sorry, Kadibug. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

tacie's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 6 months ago
Joined: 07/06/09
Posts: 332

(((((((( HUGE HUGS )))))))))))))))
I am so very sorry to hear your news and the challenges you are facing at this time - my heart goes out to you and your DH at this time
You are in my thoughts and prayers

combatcutie's picture
Offline
Last seen: 1 day 5 hours ago
Joined: 04/04/07
Posts: 2372

I am so very sorry you are going through this. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope you can find some support during this time.{{{HUGS}}}

WhiteWolf68's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
Joined: 02/06/09
Posts: 505

So sorry...my last loss was a T13. Like Rachael said, the road to motherhood for some of us is a long and painful one. If it helps, I didn't have my first till I was 37 after being diagnosed with a blood clotting disorder and had repeated losses. Plus I was told I would never have kids, at 30 they mentioned a partial hysterectomy.

One thing I've learned is to keep on fighting, giving things your all even on the worst of days. We're a group of strong ladies here...life tosses us whatever and we keep on chugging along to reach our dreams.

kadibug's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 2 weeks ago
Joined: 07/17/11
Posts: 247

we found out today that it's PROBABLY severe turner's syndrome as well as secondary defects which are not yet diagnosed. the second doc, my obgyn, also confirmed that that the baby will not live to term.

we have an appt on tuesday with a genetic counselor to go over her expert opinion and have one last ultrasound. Sad just the thought of that is heart breaking! the fetus will be studied after it passes to help figure out the abnormality(ies) exactly. dh and i will also have our blood drawn for genetic testing as well. this is the first time we've done this, raingirl.

knowing that turner's is 75% likely passed from the male dna, dh and i already decided to have a donor when we start ttc again.

i have put in for a sub the next two weeks. i might put in for more. i had all those days saved up for maternity leave... that dream is gone and those days off are needed now. Sad

i still cannot believe this is happening to me.

thanks for your support, everyone.

Offline
Last seen: 3 years 3 months ago
Joined: 02/24/11
Posts: 1651

When I saw this post my heart just dropped ! ! Im sooo sorry this happened to you ! I know that this is hard for you but we are all here for you no matter what ! I will be keeping u dh and baby in my prayers

celticbandgeek's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 2 months ago
Joined: 06/14/10
Posts: 950

:lurk: I am so very sorry that you are going through this. I can't even imagine what you are feeling. Just know that there are many of us sending thoughts and prayers to you and your DH.

Lizbet22's picture
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 4 months ago
Joined: 04/01/09
Posts: 2859

Oh my darling!!
I am devastated for you.
I have no experience with this and rather than saying something wrong I just want to send you hugs.
I may not have advice but I have a shoulder if you need it.
Xxxxxx

mom2robbie's picture
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 11 months ago
Joined: 01/20/07
Posts: 2541

I am so sorry. :bigarmhug: I have no words of comfort that I can offer as I know that nothing will really help at the moment. My last pregnancy ended with a d&c at 12 weeks, we found out at 11.5 weeks that the baby had died at 8-9 weeks.

If you need to talk, rant, cry, whatever I am here (and I am sure others) for you to lean on.

:bigarmhug::bigarmhug::bigarmhug:

Aggiegirl06's picture
Offline
Last seen: 3 years 9 months ago
Joined: 03/31/09
Posts: 567

I have no words, just huge hugs to you and your DH. I'm so so sorry for your angel.

:bighug:

yipeeladybug's picture
Offline
Last seen: 3 years 2 months ago
Joined: 01/18/06
Posts: 1214

*hugehugs* I'm so very sorry. Praying and thinking of you and your DH.

Ventana's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 6 months ago
Joined: 10/23/05
Posts: 187

:lurk:
How devastating. I am sorry you are having to go thru this...what a horrible hand to be dealt. May you find the peace you need during this difficult time. :bigarmhug:

clio's picture
Offline
Last seen: 2 years 9 months ago
Joined: 11/05/07
Posts: 590

:lurk:

I am so incredibly sorry; this is heartbreaking news. :bighug:

kadibug's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 2 weeks ago
Joined: 07/17/11
Posts: 247

thank you for your support and love. this has been the hardest thing i've gone through in my life, thus far. i am so thankful to have my husband's support.

i will keep you all up-to-date with my doc appointments the next few weeks.

i know this sounds so horrible, but i know the baby is going to die and i am so very anxious to heal and move on. i need to get this all behind me. my child deserves a better chance at life than this... this situation of no chance.

thanks again. this forum is/was the most supportive one i have/had.

Offline
Last seen: 3 years 3 months ago
Joined: 02/24/11
Posts: 1651

Im still praying for u !

kadibug's picture
Offline
Last seen: 4 years 2 weeks ago
Joined: 07/17/11
Posts: 247

i think the baby passed in the last two days. all feelings of fluttering i use to get when it would wiggle it's arms and legs are gone. i'm praying the little one can get to heaven now.

mom2robbie's picture
Offline
Last seen: 1 year 11 months ago
Joined: 01/20/07
Posts: 2541

hugs sweetie.

reneakelly's picture
Offline
Last seen: 3 years 4 months ago
Joined: 06/22/02
Posts: 154

I am soooo sorry you have to go through this,my prayers are with you and your family.