I'm sorry Rachel. Depression can be a very debilitating disorder that is hard for the person and everyone around them. It also can make someone VERY irritable. I have a major depressive disorder. Sometimes I say things that are so wrong, and so hurtful, and I just can't help it. I always feel terrible, and know I'm doing it, but just can't stop it. My husband is a freaking SAINT!!! lol
It's not ok for you either though to make you suffer with it. I hope he becomes more willing to talk to someone in the future. Even though counseling is best, maybe his dr could recommend a med that will help even without the counseling? That way at least there would be SOME relief. I'm on my meds all the time, but have gotten to a point where I only need the counselor every once in awhile.
Thanks Susan. He has been on and off meds for years, ever since I first met him. He recently went off them in October, doing the common thing that people often do in his situation, the "I feel much better, I don't need these anymore". I've dealt with my own depression and anxiety before, and I totally see that he has a disordered thought process. I did CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) and I really think he needs to see someone about that. He's very cynical and negative and I really think if he sat down and thought about what he was actually thinking he could turn it around and be more positive and fix the depression. He's already been told to see a therapist in conjunction with the meds and we tried it before but he wouldn't go unless I took him each time, and even at that it was a fight to get him to go. In truth, the counseling for us is more to get him to talk, even if I have to be there with him. I mean, it's still for both of us, but more for me to learn how to deal with him better and for him to open up and learn coping mechanisms and see how he is destroying a lot of our relationship with his anger and depression.
Originally Posted by smsturner
And on a site note, he has a VERY addictive personality. I LOVE video games just as much as any other geek, but I know when to quit and I know when other stuff (such as cooking, cleaning, and other chores) are more important. DH literally spends all his waking time at home playing games. I'm not joking. He comes home from work, takes off his shoes, goes downstairs and logs on to his computer, and plays until bed time. On the weekends he wakes up, goes downstairs, logs in to his game, and plays all day until bed time. Unless I force him to come out with me somewhere, this is all he does. And if I do get him out to help with groceries or something else, he spends the entire time on his phone browsing the internet or playing games and ignores me. It's friggin frustrating. That's just one of the things I want to bring up with the counselor. DH justifies playing so much games because it keeps him from smoking (he finally recently quit) but I know that's an excuse because he has always done this for the 7 years I've known him.
Ok, rant over. We had a particularly bad night last night because of him being sick. I was up until 4AM catering to him and trying to keep the dog from sleeping on him (long story, another constant problem is he hates the dog), hit snooze on my alarm at 5AM without noticing and got to work an hour late. I'm a zombie today from lack of sleep and some of the things he said last night in his sick/angry stupor were so mean and hurtful that I don't even want to talk to him today. I'm going out shopping after work and I don't plan to go home until the stores close and I've had time to regroup before I see him again.