waiting forever it seems like-thoughts of a lonely woman

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Last seen: 1 year 7 months ago
Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852
waiting forever it seems like-thoughts of a lonely woman

Hi Ladies, I'm am new to this site, but have a friend who told me I should join. And tonight I just wanted to write somewhere how I was feeling. I have been TTC for 5 years now. Most the time I am okay, I am still young, but I'm sure as many of you already know, when you want a baby it's all you can think about, and 5 years is a long time to be thinking about one thing. Lately I have been thinking more than normal, and have started looking up things that could help. Whereas before it was just doing the baby dance and hoping it happened. But I have PCOS and rarely have a period (like maybe 2 a year). We are trying to move soon though and thought it would be best to wait a few months before we really tried. But tonight my arms feel empty and my heart full of love that has no where to go. I want to plan a room and I want to rub my tummy and feel someone tiny kick back in response. I want to not be jealous of every pregnant woman I see. And I want to know 100% for sure that one day my dreams will come true, even if I have to wait. It drives me crazy to hear people say it will happen when the time is right, or "God's timing", but what if God's timing for me isn't a baby at all. It happens to woman all the time.

Anyways that is how I am feeling tonight. but already I am starting to feel better. It feels good just to have somewhere to write (or type really) how I am feeling. Thanks for reading

mom2robbie's picture
Last seen: 2 years 1 week ago
Joined: 01/20/07
Posts: 2541

I know how you feel. It took 5 years for my son to come and 5 more for Bailey (who I miscarried).

If you have PCOS chances are good that you will need help conceiving. For me it was Metformin for my diabetes (which my OB/GYN diagnosed). Now that I am over 40 we are going with injectables and IUI, if I don't get pregnant right away from my hsg tomorrow.

Good luck and while we hate to have the need for people to join this forum, welcome to the group!

dreamchaser's picture
Last seen: 10 months 3 days ago
Joined: 01/31/07
Posts: 681

I also have PCOS and if you are only getting af a couple times a year chances are you will need some help inducing ovulation. I would research all you can on PCOS (if you haven't already). There are things you can do to help increase your chances naturally. If you are insulin resistant exercise and diet can help. And like Margaret mentioned, Metformin is the drug of choice for most with PCOS. Then you may need to move on to Clomid etc. It's a daunting feeling I know. *Hugs* When we first started ttc back in 2004 I had no idea what was ahead and that was honestly the scariest part. So I feel your pain when you say you just wish someone could gaurantee a pregnancy, even if it means waiting a bit longer. Comments from friends and family can be very hurtful even if thier intentions are good. Unfortunately infertility isn't seen as a medical condition like it should be! If I were you, I would get a referral to a RE (reproductive endocronologist) and get some testing started and then you can discuss your options and go from there.

The ladies on here are great and very informative and supportive so you've come to the right place! Wishing you all the best!!

Last seen: 1 year 7 months ago
Joined: 03/16/15
Posts: 53852

Big Good Luck to you, Margaret! and thanks for the encouragement from both of you.

Lizbet22's picture
Last seen: 1 year 5 months ago
Joined: 04/01/09
Posts: 2859

Sorry for such a late reply....I tend to use my phone but that is having issues...so having a catch up session on the computer!

We have been trying since December of 2008 and yes its a dauntiing feeling when the you get no fruit from your labours!
Its especially hard when people around you don.t understand!

You need to keep faith and believe it will happen!

After your move will you be looking into anything?

Good luck with that move and I hope we get to follow your journey.

1st time mummy's picture
Last seen: 2 months 4 weeks ago
Joined: 08/03/10
Posts: 209

I felt your pain as I read you post. It took my husband and I 7 years to get Jack. It was hard and long journey, I was the same as you VERY jealous of other women who were pregnant and especially of teen girls. I always questioned why I was being punished by not being able to get pregnant. Finally I had come to terms with the fact that I would never get pregnant I was in a good place and ok with it I decided to dive into my career instead. We decided to adopt a child (locally) and we were half way through an adoption process and I had taken a promotion at work. Then all of a sudden I was pregnant. It was hard to understand but I think that it wasn't meant to be for me before it happened....because everything happens for a reason. It's just hard to find that reason at time!! I really hope it happens for you soon you sound like a wonderful women and I think you will make a great mom!! Good luck!! Smile

smsturner's picture
Last seen: 1 year 4 months ago
Joined: 05/11/09
Posts: 1303

I am not a fan of the everything happens for a reason standpoint, and DEF not of the it wasn't meant to be thought. Some things are pointless, and lots of them are just plain crappy. And far too many of them are not fair.

Your story sounded familiar to me also. I have PCOS. We've been trying for three years. I definitely have a hard time when everyone just happens to pop up pregnant by accident or with about 2 weeks of trying. I'm sorry you are in pain. I hope it gets better quickly for you, and that something works.
Please come back and lurk whenever you like. We certainly all seem to understand it here.