Wanting to give up

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mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
Posts: 2541
Wanting to give up

I am not sure if it was Mother's Day or what that preceded my up and down emotions but last night I had a bout of crying and wanting to give up.

I just keep remembering how much I hated having 2 generation gaps with my parents - they were grandparents before I was born. I keep thinking is it wise to have another baby when I am turning 43 (my one sister gave me her opinion on that one - and was pretty nasty about it).

I won't hear when my appointment for the fertility clinic is for another 6-8 weeks and then my appointment will probably be another 8-12 weeks after that! I will not do IVF unless offered a guarantee that there would be a baby at the end and we know that there are no guarantees.

I wonder what all the stress is doing to my health and my family.


dreamchaser's picture
Joined: 01/31/07
Posts: 681

Big Big Big HUGS!!! I can totally relate to how you are feeling. My heart goes out to you! I wish I had the answer, and was able to take your hurt away with just a few words. It took me a while to get to the point where I am today. I went through a depression for a couple months followed by longer stretches between wanting another child and greiving that loss to accepting that I won't be. We started ttc when we got married 8 years ago, and it was only 2 years ago when I was told my ovaries have shut down on me. I won't lie, I still have low moments when I cry and dream of what could/should have been. But I am bouncing back quicker now. I constantly remind myself of all the good in my life and focus on that. That being said, I would like to say that if age is your only reservation, I would really put those concerns aside. We all know of women in their 40's who are having babies and wouldn't change a single thing about it! As I'm sure you know there are many benefits of being a mature mom and you being a second time mommy will make you all the more confident. Your sister, and anyone else, has no right to tell you what you should or shouldn't be doing when it comes to your family. *HUGS* I really hope you are able to get in to the RE quickly so you can have your options and make your decisions. If you ever want to chat, please feel free to PM me any time.

Joined: 02/01/11
Posts: 208

Oh I'm so sorry you are feeling this way. I can relate to the mother's day I had a really rough year this year too. I hope you can get in to the re quicker then you think. I think if you really want another baby then go for it don't listen to anyone not even your sister. My brother isn't very supportive but it's not his life so I try to not listen to him. As for your age I can only say it doesn't matter. My mil had two when she was young and then got remarried and adopted two and my dh even says she is a lot better with the two young ones now. Not that she was bad with the older ones but she has more patience now. I hope you can get some sort of plan in play or be able to not get the emotional days as we know we will always get them but will be to handle them better.

Again so sorry :bighug:

Joined: 07/26/04
Posts: 1595

I think there are no words to make you feel any better, just something to ease the pain a bit. I think we have all dealt with the stupid comments and most of the time they come from people that have no problem having babies which makes you even madder because they have no friekin' clue how it feels. I think we have all hit this point where giving up just seems like the only option. Why don't you take this time to take a break while you wait to get the appt. If you can, maybe go on vacation or do something fun. Maybe have something to look forward to that will take your mind off things. So sorry you are feeling this way!!!!! :bighug: :bighug:

yipeeladybug's picture
Joined: 01/18/06
Posts: 1214

*hugehugs* I'm sorry you had to deal with such comments. Sad

mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
Posts: 2541

The hardest part is no one else in my family has suffered from infertility so they just don't get it! All 6 of my sisters have gotten pregnant whenever they wanted. My sisters-in-law the same thing. I know not to let my sister get to me but it is so hard not to. Grace used to tell me that I had to hurry up and have kids as my kids would be so much younger then their cousins - she forgets that she is 14 years older then me!!! Yes, Robbie is the age of his 2nd cousins but I was an aunt before I was born and then they kept coming from the time I was 9. There is a reason I have 35 nieces/nephews (my side only) and 25 great ones at age 42 - 6 of my siblings are grandparents.

I think I am just hormonal. So tired no matter how much sleep I get, sore boobs and grouchy as ever!