Thread: ahhh crap

Despite being so proud of myself for holding off I broke down and got a test tonight - BFN - should not have been surprised really but...
I've had such horrible heartburn, nausea, mild cramps (more like pulling not quite like AF), super sore bbs and CP is back up high and is still soft (it's usually low and hard when AF hits). Really thought for a moment that maybe this may have been my little miracle I prayed for....
Guess that means I'm still in limbo

Sorry about the disappointment and being stuck in limbo land.

Thanks, I broke down last night into a big blubbering ball of emotion. DH just held me and told me he loves me and he wishes he knew how to fix it. It's hard for him because he's a fixer, and there is nothing he can do right now. He also doesn't understand exactly how I feel about wanting a baby, he really wants one but I don't know that any man can ever understand that burning desire we have to have a baby, or the heartbreak when it just isn't happening. As much as he wants another he'd be quite content with just the 3 of us forever.
We've discussed and agreed that once we're settled into the new house up north we're going to get the adoption process started, it's something DH and I both always wanted to do (adopt an older child). His cousin who is 16 was actually adopted about 10 years ago after DH's aunt had him in her kindergarten class. Not going to stop TTC for sure, we were planning on waiting on adoption for a few years, have a baby first, but it's looking like it's going to take quite a while so we've decided to look at adoption first. If we end up pg somehow in the mean time - great, if not we're still growing our family.
That being said I'm still an emotional wreck today, trying desperately not to cry as I make DD's B'day cake...

As much as they might try I don't think men really understand the disappointment we feel each month when we're faced with a BFN. It's tough. I hope you get into your new house soon so you can focus on growing your family. There's an older child out there who will be blessed to be part of your family!

THanks Beth

A few months ago I thought things were falling into place and now it's looking like 2012 will be a lot of transition... DH is positive that it's all going to be good. 4 months ago I had no real stress other that TTC now my life has turned upside down and all I feel lately is stress.

I think I'm spotting today, it's super light so hard to tell, I'm practically examining tp with a microscope watching for AF...

It's good to be able to come on here and vent/share

I'm sorry you're having such a tough time right now. I'm not feeling very talkative, but wanted to let you know you're in my thoughts, and definitely not alone.

I'm sorry you are having such a hard time. I completely understand how you feel, so like what pp said you definitely are not alone.

These boards are a great place to vent and get support. Did AF show?

Yes she did

Full force this morning, extra painful too!

ugh, what a witch! At least you're not in limbo anymore. Now you can get your O on! I really hope your timing works out with your dh's weekends home this month!!