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E-Koz's picture
Joined: 02/16/11
Posts: 411
Blue

And it's probably PMS. But I am just on the verge of tears all day today. Don't you hate that when you know in your heart of hearts you're being illogical and you should dust yourself off and perk up and you just can't? Today was a BFN as 12 DPO and I am pretty sure AF will be here in a day or two. I usually don't early test but was headed to the doctor today and wanted to know one way or the other. We've only been trying for 6 months, but I really thought we would be there by now. Thursday is my 35th birthday and I have this horrible voice in my head which tells me I waited too long, and now I am too old, and it will never happen. I know, that's irrational. If for some reason we can't conceive on our own, we have other options. We're both healthy so I think we only have age working against us. But it still sucks. And hurts. And I really never thought it would be this much work. Sad

Erin Elizabeth's picture
Joined: 10/18/08
Posts: 472

So sorry you are feeling blue today! :bigarmhug: Hang in there, and hopefully you see your BFP sooner rather than later.

jodes77's picture
Joined: 07/02/11
Posts: 63

Hope you feel better and hang in there, Erin.

I'm kind of right behind you... I'm age 34 and will be TTC #1 too. I would imagine I will have moments of discouragement, but I have heard you have to give it a good year of trying, and even then there are fertility treatments. I am not a patient person and have major baby fever, so I'm sure my nerves will be tried in the upcoming months also.
I am sending much good energy your way...

Joined: 02/10/08
Posts: 485

huge hugs girl...

it's a rough road this ttc business.... and hormones do nasty things to our emotions...

I'm 38... and we started trying for #1 when I was 35, so I know all about the age factor weighing in, and the extra pressure it causes... but 35 is NOT too old!

Hang in there... HUGS!!!

turtnjay's picture
Joined: 02/24/09
Posts: 2095

So sorry you are feeling this way. And I can completely understand where you are coming from and how you feel.

I am 36 and will have this little guy when I am almost 37. I had my last son when I was almost 35 and they both took 9 months to conceive...and that included opk's, charting, supplements!

I too thought I was just too old for one more, or any more at that, and then was blessed with a perfect LO.

Hang in there. Sometimes you are doing everything right but the timing just isn't perfect, but it will be. I was in tears the month before this pregnancy thinking it wasn't meant to be. Luckily we kept trying (we dtd 5 days n a row until my temp showed a spike) and it worked.

E-Koz's picture
Joined: 02/16/11
Posts: 411

Thank you everyone. I mean it, THANK YOU. :bighug: I feel much better today, so I do think hormones was playing a part in my mini-meltdown yesterday. It really does help me though, especially to hear from those of you that are my age. I do realize that 35 isn't *that* old in my saner moments. And, of course, it's not my fault that I didn't meet the man of my dreams until I was 33. These are things I just need to accept and take a deep breath.

I really appreciate it!!

kita-angel's picture
Joined: 02/01/11
Posts: 38

Hang in there Erin! I totally know what an off day feels like, wether because of PMS/TTC, or just a plain crappy day where no one listens to you and nothing works out at all!!

:bigarmhug::bigarmhug::bigarmhug:

I think, from experience, it's better to let it all out and tell yourself that it's better to feel crummy and blue and honest with yourself than to tell yourself to forget it and bottle it up!

There is no right or wrong age for anything! Just go at your own pace, take life as it comes, and enjoy. Good things are bound to happen, and the longer you wait, the bigger the surprise will be!!! Like the xmas present you would be waiting for as a kid lol!

Still, glad you're starting to feel better though and that you're getting through this little rough spot!

alwayssmile's picture
Joined: 08/26/07
Posts: 14483

:grouphug:

Trust me, TTC is a roller coaster of emotions. Some days are great. Others suck. And some days you just want to punch someone. Wink 6 months is one of those TTC milestones that most people think they'll never reach, so it's so hard once you hit there and wonder about the next 6 months.

Joined: 03/02/07
Posts: 473

Sorry you are feeling so down, and glad you are doing better today. I am very familiar with those low days lately. I hope you just need a little more time to get your BFP.

Please don't feel you are being irrational. TTC is stressful and becomes more so with each passing month. It is hard when you want something so much and it is taking a while to happen.

If you are worried about fertility issues with yourself or your husband, most doctors will start a workup or refer you to an RE after 6 months if you are 35 or over, even if you have no indication of anything wrong. No one can force you to use fertility treatments if you want to continue to TTC naturally, but at least they can rule out certain things before you spend a long time continuing to TTC before uncovering a potential problem. And time is a bit more important at 35 and over, especially if you want more children down the road.

I speak from experience here....so hopefully you do not have any issues and just need a little more time. But personally, I am glad I didn't wait the full year (at 33 and at 35) because if i had, we wouldn't have successfully gotten pregnant (at 33), and I would have many more cards stacked against me now(still naturally TTC at 36).

I hope you have success really soon and it becomes a non-issue. Best of luck to you!

turtnjay's picture
Joined: 02/24/09
Posts: 2095

I'm glad you're feeling better! Hormones are the worst sometimes!