Can it be??

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KryssyD's picture
Joined: 01/09/11
Posts: 34
Can it be??

Hi Everyone,
I know I haven't been around much at all since my mc in april. DH and I worked on just getting back to a healthy point and back to thinking positively.

I started Clomid in October, for two months...I started getting some symptoms similar to PMS and I was ready to give up...I mean...what hope was there for me if I couldn't conceive on Clomid??

Well, a part of me thought to take a pregnancy test last thursday...because I wasn't seeing some of the usual pms symptoms. OMG....a second line appeared!!! I couldn't believe it! Could it be true?????

I took 3 more tests on friday morning and again....3 positives!!!!

I can't believe it! I am praying and thanking God for getting me through this and helping us have this dream come true. This is the perfect Christmas gift that we could receive. I have an appointment at 10am Saturday coming with my OBGYN for a regular checkup and to make sure things are progressing well.

Please...keep your fingers crossed for us and keep us in your prayers as we work to make this dream a reality.

My little bean Smile

StormSong's picture
Joined: 12/04/12
Posts: 54

Massive congratulations to you hun, i have my fingers crossed for a sticky, sticky bean! Smile

KryssyD's picture
Joined: 01/09/11
Posts: 34

Thanks! I have been on cloud nine since we found out. I'm also hoping this little one will stick!
I see the doctor tomorrow. Have to see him early cause ill be away on vacation for 3 weeks.
I'm already feeling symptoms like really sore boobs, some cramping (no bleeding) and occasional nausea...and I'm looking forward to so much more...ill update you all soon.

KryssyD's picture
Joined: 01/09/11
Posts: 34

Hi All!! Ok, so because I'm travelling out of the country for the xmas season, my doc scheduled an ultrasound for this morning for me, to determine if the little bean was growing in the right place. I woke up at 6:15 this morning and got so nervous about the ultrasound that I couldn't go back to sleep...

I got to y appointment 30 minutes early and sat and waited for the office to open, hoping and praying all that time that my baby was where it should be and that everything was ok so far.

So...we saw the Sac and the Fetal Pole!!! I saw my little bean...however small...but I saw him/her :).

The doc said its too early to hear or even see a heartbeat because I'm only 5w 3d. I'm so over the moon right now and I continue to hope and pray that he/she continues to grow healthy and strong.

I have another appt with the doc when I get back from vacation, and in the meantime am making sure to take my prenatals and any other supplements I need.

If I don't write on this board for the rest of the year: xmas is a busy time with family... I just want to wish you all a very Merry Christmas and a Happy and Prosperous New Year.

AnnaRO's picture
Joined: 07/06/08
Posts: 7033

Kryssy! I am so happy for you!! That is awesome news!! I hope you have a wonderful Christmas and know that it will be that much happier now!! KUP when you get back and see the doc again!

BokkieNYC's picture
Joined: 08/15/11
Posts: 1106


smsturner's picture
Joined: 05/11/09
Posts: 1303

So happy for you!! Big congratulations!

KryssyD's picture
Joined: 01/09/11
Posts: 34

I can't believe I'm here with sad news again. Saturday night after the ultrasound on friday I was experiencing some gastrointestinal issues...including abdominal pain and what seems to be rectal pain as well. The pain would wake me up from sleep and got worse as the night progressed. By morning it was extremely painful to stand up from a seated position, to sit down, to move around while seated and even to walk upright. I had my husband take me to the doctor. While I waited to see the doctor I went to the restroom and there was blood when I urinated. I prayed and pleaded...Dear God not again please.

I saw the doctor and when he examined me he discovered that my cervix was slightly open and there was blood. My cervix was also very tender to the touch. Because I was pregnant, he sent me to the emergency room at the hospital. I was in so much pain I was crying and rocking. I screamed in agony when I had to move from the wheelchair I was brought in to the bed they had waiting for me. I was given morphine for the pain and gravol so I wouldn't throw it up. The doctors took blood and put me on continuous IV. I was poked and prodded by several doctors and my cervical pain only got worse, as well as the bleeding.

I was wheeled into ultrasound in the afternoon. The ultrasound showed a large mass of fluid between my uterus and ovary. The "sac" that was previously identified in my uterus was now a misshapen mass, and they could not identify a fetal pole or heartbeat.

The doctors tell me I have to be admitted to the hospital. I can't believe I'm here again.
The next morning, the doctors take more blood for tests, and couple hours later I got the news.
My blood count had been 9.6 when I was brought in on Sunday, and overnight had dropped to 6.5. I was bleeding internally. My pregnancy was ectopic and had ruptured...the docs said they needed to take me to surgery immediately to avoid any further complications from the amount of blood loss.

My heart broke...I was terrified and in shock from all that was happening. My husband was not handling it well either. I woke up from the surgery later that day and was informed that when they opened me up, my abdomen was filled with blood and clots. When they cleared all of that out, they discovered that my left fallopian tube had ruptured and was bleeding into my abdomen. They had to remove the tube, and removed the fleshy material....that was my baby as well. I was also given a blood transfusion due to the amount of blood I lost.

I spent 5 days in the hospital and went home broken and despondent. This has been the worst year of our lives and the worst christmas as well. I was in the hospital on my husband's birthday and was not in a celebration frame of mind a week later on my birthday...still in pain from the surgery.

I don't know what to do with myself these days...I am broken...I lack focus...I dont find the same things funny anymore, I dont laugh the same anymore...

I am so completely fear stricken with trying to conceive again.

**Tiffany**'s picture
Joined: 11/21/03
Posts: 1230

I'm so sorry for you Kryssy. It is awful to experience a m/c once let alone twice in a row. And to have to have surgery and have your life in danger the 2nd time is just unimaginable. I can understand why you are feeling so lost right now. Have you tried medication for depression? Or maybe talking to someone lithe a therapist or counselor? I went on Zoloft and klonopin a few years ago and I started therapy a few months after that (I had had 2 m/c by then but that wasn't my motivation it was my anxiety in general). At first I was terrified of therapy when my psychiatrist suggested it but gave it a go. I was in therapy when I had my 3rd loss at 14 wks in April and it was extremely helpful. Now going through my 4th loss (2nd in a row) and will be discussing this either as well. It's not for everyone I understand but I thought if share my story. I'm really very sorry that you had to go through this.

FourMaybeMore's picture
Joined: 03/09/12
Posts: 724

I'm so sorry to read your story, Kryssy. I hope you have a great support system around you. Your husband sounds like he is your rock. I can imagine this must be the hardest thing to go through, not to mention all the physical pain surrounding the experience as well. I hope you can hang on to some peace and sanity during this hard time. I don't know you but always here if you need an ear.

smsturner's picture
Joined: 05/11/09
Posts: 1303

I'm so sorry to read your story, and so sorry I didn't see this sooner. I can't imagine how you are feeling right now. I don't have experience with your ordeal, but I do with depression. I hope you'll consider seeing a therapist or counselor, you are greiving and that is normal, but it really would help to talk to someone. Also, some of the anti-depression meds are ok for TTC if you choose to try again.