Thread: Help! :(

Hi, I'm a lurker here. My husband and I are trying for our second baby. Our first was a breeze, didn't even happen on purpose, so I thought this second time would be a breeze too.
Well, we are on month 2 of trying to conceive, and month 3 of being birth control free, and nothing . I'm on day 31 of my cycle (normally about 33 days long) and have burned through 3 pregnancy tests in the last 2 days (all negative). I feel like a failure, and almost like giving up.
How long has it taken any of you ladies to conceive? Is this normal, what I'm going through? I'm very sad right about now.

It is very normal for a couple to take 6 months to a year to conceive. This is with there being no problems on either side and the mom being under 35 years old. There's only a 20% chance of getting pregnant each month with everything going great! Birth control can definitely affect your fertility when you first come off of it. Some people immediately ovulate while others don't at first. Are you using OPKs, charting, or something to know when you ovulated and that you are ovulating?

It took DH and I 3 years to conceive DS. We have no idea why it took so long.

I'm on month #7 right now, just turned 35 three weeks ago, and am (as far as I know) completely healthy and ovulating. Sometimes, it just takes a while. The 20% figure is accurate, and when you realize you only have a 1 in 5 shot each month, even if everything is "perfect" it helps keep it in perspective. Take a deep breath--it's totally normal!!

Jubileerose - I'm sorry things aren't as easy this time as before. I feel I am in a similar situation to you. My first two were conceived right away, but I have been trying for my 3rd since Rheneas was born and still no luck yet. It's so frustrating. Are you charting or anything? Maybe learning more about your cycles would help.

Yep I'm tracking cervical mucus, charting, and even got those ovulation test strips. Those made me intensely anxious, so we only used those one month. I am very aware of my body and my cycles, and am going to try temping for next month on top of everything else.
I'm 30 years old, very healthy, and seem to be ovulating just fine. Ugh.
Glad I'm not alone here, but wishing we all could just get our babies already. I've never wanted to be pregnant so badly.

It sounds like you're doing everything you can do! I know it's frustrating. It took us 2.5 years to have DD, and it's been 26 months since she was born and still no baby (we never used BC). Something I had to come to terms with before DD was born is that I don't have nearly as much control over getting pregnant as I was led to believe. You can do everything perfectly and still not get pregnant for years.

Coming off of BC can also really affect your fertility. Even if you're ovulating, the lining of your uterus might not be thick enough to support a baby yet. Give it time. In the worst case scenario, it might take a year for your body to get back to being fertile after coming off of the pill - though most women (and probably you!) are back to being fertile after just a few months. Odds are you're already fertile, but you've just been unlucky these last few months. The average healthy couple conceives in 3-6 months, so who knows? Next month might be your month!

Keep positive!
If it was a breeze to get pregnant for everyone there probably wouldnt be TTC boards

I know what you mean though- My DS was a complete suprise, and happened the first time we ever BD, and I was on the pill at the time!!


Now, been off BCP for 6 months almost, and been TTC actively for at least the last 3, and no luck for us..So I'm trying to tell myself it'll happen when it happens!!

I havent started trying to temp yet is all... I probably should though

*lurker*

It took me 19 cycles. Some women are on their third year + of trying. I would not feel like a failure after only two cycles...

Just be patient. As many said, it can take up to a year. It will happen.

It's so hard to wait, isn't it? I'm only on my first cycle for #2 and I want to be preggo so badly!!! Hugs!

It's been eight months of TTC for us, and two rounds with Clomid. My doctor told me the same 20% statistic, and said not to be concerned until after we had been trying for a year without success. I also have history of endometriosis though and apparently haven't been ovulating on my own. I know two months feels like forever, but in the scheme of things only two cycles isn't a good measure of your fertility/chances to get pregnant.