How much do you tell work?

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UpBeachMom's picture
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How much do you tell work?

I typically keep family planning to myself at work, for a number of reasons. I've never told work that I'm ttc, and I've always waited until I'm 12-13 weeks before telling my boss.

Now that I'm about to begin cycle monitoring, I feel like I should be honest and let my boss know why I'll be late a few times (which is totally out of the ordinary for me) or need extra personal time.

I'm also concerned that I'm even considering being open with my boss because she's a woman, and am not sure that I'd have the same conversation with a male boss - is it ok to open up like that, or is it unprofessional? I have a good relationship with her, but she's still my boss and this is still work.

Has anyone else opened up and been honest, or have you just made excuses and not told why?

I have a meeting with her this afternoon which will be the best opportunity to have the conversation - I don't want to schedule a separate meeting just to talk about this, as I think it would come across as me making too big a deal about it. I'm just not sure if I should say anything or not.

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Last seen: 7 months 4 days ago
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I would just follow your gut. Maybe just kind of mention something off-handedly and see if she picks up the conversation. That's kind of a middle-of-the-road way.

ange84's picture
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My first iui I said I needed to see a specialist in another town ( we have few specialist services here) due to bad cramnps which they had all seen me have. Second IUI I had to come clean to my supervisor. She has since left so I had to come clean to another supervisor. If there wasn't so much travel it would be ok, but for me I end up working half days for my 10-15 minute appointments

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My work was always flexible about my start time and in that city all the blood draws were done by one group of labs so you could go to any of them to get them done. I went to the location near my work when they opened at 8 and I could usually get to work by 8:40 (start time 8:30).

I ended up getting pregnant that cycle so I only had to do it once. My preference is to not talk about it at work but if you start to see the doctor I think you do want to say something. Not quite the same thing but when I had my loss, I emailed my (male) director and (female) manager and said what happened. They were both very understanding and told me to take whatever time I needed to feel better.

UpBeachMom's picture
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Thanks!
I have a great relationship with my manager. I told her. I also told her why I was hesitant to talk to her about it. She was totally awesome and that made me relieved to be honest rather than sneaking around.
Unfortunately this clinic is located downtown and my work is nowhere near downtown. I usually start at 7:30, and the clinic doesn't open until 7, so most likely I won't get in until 9:30. I can make the time up in the evening, which is helpful but I would still need to let her know that I was deciding on my own flexible work arrangement.

I definitely feel relieved letting her know!

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Last seen: 1 year 10 months ago
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Well I'm glad that part worked out well for you. Do many other people know?

I've told my boss, which was a relief just because depending on what's next and needing the flex schedule just like everyone here but I've kept quiet I'd say, more people to explain and talk to with no news wouldn't make me feel better Sad

UpBeachMom's picture
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A few friends know I'm trying, but besides a couple of my pg.org friends, only one other person knows about the RE (and she's the one that suggested this doctor). Oh and my sister knows, but we share a lot.

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I've kept it to my 3closest, our caregiver and each other besides you gals Biggrin