Maybe it's the emotions talking...
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    Super Poster Lily2006's Avatar
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    Default Maybe it's the emotions talking...

    But I don't think I want to ttc anymore. POAS yesterday and got a positive just to have AF let me know it's on it's way today? Quite frankly I am feeling so darn depressed lately that I just can't take it anymore. Regardless of all of the "perfect" results DH and I have gotten from our testing, obviously something isn't working or we wouldn't be on cycle 14 right now. I'm tired of not being successful month after month after month. My dh and I always wanted to have 3 to 4 children and now I am thinking we won't even have 1 child. It's the worst feeling in the world when every week I see a post on facebook about another girl that is pregnant.

    I'm so sorry that I am rambling and emotional. It's probably my AF talking. Maybe I will just do the whole JLIH thing, but I don't know. This is so ridiculously stressful and I envy the women that have unprotected sex once and ....OOPS! Guess I'm pregnant!

    Please don't get offended, I just needed to get everything out.
    -Michelle


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    Prolific Poster Leah261's Avatar
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    Awww Michelle what happened? Did you really start a full blown AF or are you just having some spotting? Spotting is common in early pregnancy. I would say if it hasn't started as a full flow and it doesn't soon to take another test but just a different brand. You took a $ brand right? I've had some weird results on them before but most people are really happy with them and say they can detect everything early. I wouldn't give up until AF shows her ugly face completely but I do know how you feel. Going through that month after month after month is awful. I believe it will happen for you though. A wonderful girl like you deserves a child! I don't see the world allowing you to not have any children. I really believe that. Giant hugs sweetie! I hope you feel better soon, and remember you're allowed to feel this way. It's not easy to go through.
    MMC 4/12
    Leah (27)
    Drew (30)
    Diagnosed PCOS 2009 and Endometriosis May 2013
    Currently foster parents hoping to adopt
    Got our first placement at 2 days old 11/19 and hoping she is our forever daughter


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    Super Poster mandynz's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry Michelle, I hope that there is still a possibility for cycle! I know you know your body and you will probably know what is going on with you but I see that you noted spotting on your chart. As Leah said, spotting does happen during pregnancy...perhaps have another test and if that is still positive go in and get checked?

    I hope you can find some relief and distraction from the disappointment of this cycle if it does turns out not to be. /hugs
    Last edited by mandynz; 02-24-2012 at 03:04 AM.
    ~Mandy~



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    Quote Originally Posted by Lily2006 View Post
    But I don't think I want to ttc anymore. POAS yesterday and got a positive just to have AF let me know it's on it's way today? Quite frankly I am feeling so darn depressed lately that I just can't take it anymore. Regardless of all of the "perfect" results DH and I have gotten from our testing, obviously something isn't working or we wouldn't be on cycle 14 right now. I'm tired of not being successful month after month after month. My dh and I always wanted to have 3 to 4 children and now I am thinking we won't even have 1 child. It's the worst feeling in the world when every week I see a post on facebook about another girl that is pregnant.

    I'm so sorry that I am rambling and emotional. It's probably my AF talking. Maybe I will just do the whole JLIH thing, but I don't know. This is so ridiculously stressful and I envy the women that have unprotected sex once and ....OOPS! Guess I'm pregnant!

    Please don't get offended, I just needed to get everything out.
    You are allowed to feel the way you feel.

    Wanting to have a baby is a feeling no one will understand if they have not been there themselves.

    I cried for more that a year each month when were trying to conceive my baby girl I got pregnant, happy as can be, only to have my heart broken a few days later when I lost my baby. Had a d&c.... I started using staminogro the day after my op, and was blessed that month with my little princess.

    The jorney it not easy (like you said the people that cannot look after their children get pregnant without trying)...but the prize at the end...WORTH IT!!

    Don't ever be afraid to talk or vent...because that is what help to make us stronger and get us through the deep waters.

    baby dust to you.... and we are here if you need to talk
    [

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    Mega Poster kristycoulter1's Avatar
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    How is it going? Is AF here for real?
    DH Brian 06/06 Furbaby Abe 09/07 m/c @ 5w5d 06/08 DD Mary 6/28/09 DD Bree 12/7/12

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    Super Poster Lily2006's Avatar
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    Yeah, AF showed. I am feeling better today, dh was talking to me and made me feel better. He thinks we should definitely keep trying and that the time will come for us someday. I was so upset last night and I don't want to feel like that again and I think the way to avoid that would be no POAS until necessary. If I wouldn't have poas early, I would have never seen that false positive. Thanks for the hugs and kind words. I'm really sorry for the vent
    -Michelle


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    Prolific Poster Leah261's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lily2006 View Post
    Yeah, AF showed. I am feeling better today, dh was talking to me and made me feel better. He thinks we should definitely keep trying and that the time will come for us someday. I was so upset last night and I don't want to feel like that again and I think the way to avoid that would be no POAS until necessary. If I wouldn't have poas early, I would have never seen that false positive. Thanks for the hugs and kind words. I'm really sorry for the vent
    Aww Michelle I'm so sorry AF showed. I didn't want to say anything before AF showed and upset you but I did want to tell you that I had FOUR false positives on dollar brands in the last few months. And they looked like the real thing. I even took it to my doctor and he said "yep I would have called that a positive". After that I waited until AF showed instead of testing (until this month anyway) and I didn't get as sad each month. And that freed up money so I could get some tests I felt I could count on. I don't know if this will help or not but I hope it will. You're not alone. I cried over those dollar tests so many times. I have seen many that were the real thing though so I definitely don't believe they're all bad but I think they can be kind of hit and miss sometimes. Giant HUGS sweetheart. And vent all you like. You have every right to feel the way that you do. And we're all here to listen.
    MMC 4/12
    Leah (27)
    Drew (30)
    Diagnosed PCOS 2009 and Endometriosis May 2013
    Currently foster parents hoping to adopt
    Got our first placement at 2 days old 11/19 and hoping she is our forever daughter


  8. #8
    Super Poster Lily2006's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Leah261 View Post
    Aww Michelle I'm so sorry AF showed. I didn't want to say anything before AF showed and upset you but I did want to tell you that I had FOUR false positives on dollar brands in the last few months. And they looked like the real thing. I even took it to my doctor and he said "yep I would have called that a positive". After that I waited until AF showed instead of testing (until this month anyway) and I didn't get as sad each month. And that freed up money so I could get some tests I felt I could count on. I don't know if this will help or not but I hope it will. You're not alone. I cried over those dollar tests so many times. I have seen many that were the real thing though so I definitely don't believe they're all bad but I think they can be kind of hit and miss sometimes. Giant HUGS sweetheart. And vent all you like. You have every right to feel the way that you do. And we're all here to listen.
    Thank you so much, Leah! It really does make me feel better to know I'm not the only one this has happened to. Like you said, even though some people have gotten accurate results from those $ tree tests, I don't plan on ever using one again, it was too heartbreaking!
    -Michelle


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    Prolific Poster Leah261's Avatar
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    [QUOTE=Lily2006;8877582]Thank you so much, Leah! It really does make me feel better to know I'm not the only one this has happened to. Like you said, even though some people have gotten accurate results from those $ tree tests, I don't plan on ever using one again, it was too heartbreaking![/QUOTE

    I'm so sorry this happened to you sweetie. It's just such an awful feeling to get your hopes up like that to find out it was the stupid test. And so many people say false positives are extremely unlikely and they act like they just don't happen but clearly they do. And it's not like your test was an evap either. It was pink for sure. Grr...I'm so mad at the $ tests for doing this to another person. Big HUGS!
    MMC 4/12
    Leah (27)
    Drew (30)
    Diagnosed PCOS 2009 and Endometriosis May 2013
    Currently foster parents hoping to adopt
    Got our first placement at 2 days old 11/19 and hoping she is our forever daughter


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    Super Poster mandynz's Avatar
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    Man false positives make me so mad too! I went through the same thing with that blue dye test a couple of weeks ago I have also promised myself I am not going to test until after my period is due from now on and I will only test with FR (we only have the FR test strips here sadly).

    I'm so sorry /hugs
    ~Mandy~



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