Not doing this anymore...

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glwolf's picture
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Not doing this anymore...

I've been thinking about this for a while and I have decided to drop out and no longer TTC #3. I have had issues with anxiety in the past and I took clomid this cycle. Today was my 1st day not taking it after 5 days and I felt really down all day and didn't feel like doing anything. I just had a panic attack and I'm terrified what the next 2 weeks are gonna bring. I can't handle this hormonal up and down anymore and I am afraid it would be worse after i had another baby so I better bow out so i can be here for my other 2 kids. I don't want to be on zoloft again and I want to enjoy their childhoods too so I guess #3 is not gonna happen Sad

I will still be here wishing you all luck and lurking from time to time. I havent discussed this all in detail with DH yet so we shall see what he says. Maybe it's just the drugs talking but I am a hormonal mess and I'm worried about the next upcoming weeks with my cycle and what that's gonna be like now. So now i think i took the clomid for nothing cuz i will have a horrible period and horrible cramps and won't even be TTC. Oh well... live and learn. im just mad at myself cuz i knew better then to take a med like this that would effect my hormones. what a dummy i can be sometimes.

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ughhhh boy do i know the feeling...!!! :bigarmhug:

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"MrsV2B" wrote:

ughhhh boy do i know the feeling...!!! :bigarmhugs:

did this happen to you with clomid?

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i actually have never had to take clomid however i was sympatizing with the fact that you feel so discouraged....

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thank you! I'm having panic attacks right now and i'm so scared i'm gonna have to deal with this for a week and be alone with the kids etc... I guess this is a blessing in disguize cuz i guess i couldn't have had another and handled it anyway

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I'm so sorry you are feeling this way, hun. :bighug:

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:bigarmhug:

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:bigarmhug: Sorry Gina.

glwolf's picture
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ok now that i've calmed down i think i will be ok. i talked with DH and he said "so if you have trouble you can always go back on zoloft no biggie!" he's so great. he's even talking about renting a bigger house next year with 4 bedrooms so i feel like there is somewhere to put the baby. he knows i feel bad that we won't have a nursery here. so that's good too! for a man who didn't want to do this in the first place he sure is being supportive. so i guess we are still on the baby train! woo hoo!

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"glwolf" wrote:

ok now that i've calmed down i think i will be ok. i talked with DH and he said "so if you have trouble you can always go back on zoloft no biggie!" he's so great. he's even talking about renting a bigger house next year with 4 bedrooms so i feel like there is somewhere to put the baby. he knows i feel bad that we won't have a nursery here. so that's good too! for a man who didn't want to do this in the first place he sure is being supportive. so i guess we are still on the baby train! woo hoo!

I am happy for you!!!

Here if you need a shoulder, need to vent or share good news...through the TTC #3 journey

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"glwolf" wrote:

ok now that i've calmed down i think i will be ok. i talked with DH and he said "so if you have trouble you can always go back on zoloft no biggie!" he's so great. he's even talking about renting a bigger house next year with 4 bedrooms so i feel like there is somewhere to put the baby. he knows i feel bad that we won't have a nursery here. so that's good too! for a man who didn't want to do this in the first place he sure is being supportive. so i guess we are still on the baby train! woo hoo!

I am so happy for you Gina! That's awesome that your DH is so supportive for you. Glad to hear you are still on the baby train! Smile

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Yay! It's funny how sometimes daddy is the one secretly wanting a baby. I just love that. I'm sorry your emotions are all over the place and making you a mess right now. (((hugs))) Here's hoping you'll only need to endure this cycle and then you'll be preggo. Smile

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:grouphug:
I think it's normal to have those days where you panic about adding another kid to your family and what it means for YOU. I know I do! I sometimes don't feel like I'm handling life the best and there's no way I could handle this life with 2 kids, but then I relax and realize that I'm not doing a bad job. Even if I had no kids I'd still have times where I was feeling overwhelmed, so the same is going to be true weather I have 1, 2, 3, or more kids. Best of luck to you!!! Darn those hormones. Wink

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Oh Gina honey I'm so sorry the Clomid is affecting you this way. It made me CRAZY! I told my DH about 100 times a month while I was on it that I didn't want to try anymore and we'd only been trying at the time like 4 months or something for our first...so I think it was the Clomid for sure. I have a hard time with anything that affects my hormones and I had a rough time on it for sure. I eventually decided it wasn't worth it because I felt like I was becoming a danger to myself. I get like insane PMDD type stuff though and flip out. Like throwing things wanting to break all the windows in my house flip out. I was fine once I stopped it. Lol. And I'm never like that without a little crazy hormone push in that direction. I'm just hoping the Femara doesn't cause it too. Just know that you are not alone and that your feelings are normal. Hormones suck and they do weird things to us. But you can get through this! If you get stressed or upset and need to vent about it feel free to pm me sweetie. I'm hoping it works the first time so you don't have to endure the meds any longer.

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Oh Gina, I am so glad you have a supportive DH and he was able to get your through your rough time. I know you are feeling like things are impossible, but I am keeping my fingers crossed for you.

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Yay! I'm so happy for you! I'm glad that your DH is being so supportive!

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"Leah261" wrote:

Oh Gina honey I'm so sorry the Clomid is affecting you this way. It made me CRAZY! I told my DH about 100 times a month while I was on it that I didn't want to try anymore and we'd only been trying at the time like 4 months or something for our first...so I think it was the Clomid for sure. I have a hard time with anything that affects my hormones and I had a rough time on it for sure. I eventually decided it wasn't worth it because I felt like I was becoming a danger to myself. I get like insane PMDD type stuff though and flip out. Like throwing things wanting to break all the windows in my house flip out. I was fine once I stopped it. Lol. And I'm never like that without a little crazy hormone push in that direction. I'm just hoping the Femara doesn't cause it too. Just know that you are not alone and that your feelings are normal. Hormones suck and they do weird things to us. But you can get through this! If you get stressed or upset and need to vent about it feel free to pm me sweetie. I'm hoping it works the first time so you don't have to endure the meds any longer.

that's good to hear that it stopped once you stopped the clomid! I feel fine today so i think it must have left my system for the most part. geesh that was tough! Let me know how you do on the Femara because if I dont get pg this cycle i'm gonna call and see the RE for that next. I won't be taking clomid again it's not worth it.

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thanks so much everyone for the love and support! you make it much easier to deal with this stuff for sure. If you could say a prayer for me to get through this I'd appreciate it. I'm still worried it will come back cuz the drug stays with you for 2 weeks I hear. I'm just terrified of Panic attacks they suck so bad.

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Hey Gina how are you feeling?

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"alwayssmile" wrote:

:grouphug:
I think it's normal to have those days where you panic about adding another kid to your family and what it means for YOU. I know I do! I sometimes don't feel like I'm handling life the best and there's no way I could handle this life with 2 kids, but then I relax and realize that I'm not doing a bad job. Even if I had no kids I'd still have times where I was feeling overwhelmed, so the same is going to be true weather I have 1, 2, 3, or more kids. Best of luck to you!!! Darn those hormones. Wink

I'm glad to hear it's not only me who worries about adding another to the family and what it will mean for the other kids. I worry that they might get jealous or ignored but I don't think I'd ever do that .... but then i start to think "maybe this is a bad idea" and i don't get pg that month and then i think "it's my fault I didn't get pg cuz God knew I wasn't sure so he didn't put a baby in my belly." LOL who knows. I think we just like to blame ourselves sometimes.

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"MrsV2B" wrote:

Hey Gina how are you feeling?

Thanks so much for asking! I'm doing better. I have ups and downs. yesterday I had to fight another attack off and this morning while getting my daughter ready for school I had to fight another one but they didnt' come full on so that's good news! I think I get stressed when doing the things that i know will be harder with a baby and thats when i start to panic. I know everything will be fine i just need to chill out.