A somewhat philosophical post about TTC
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    Mega Poster harmonybear's Avatar
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    Default A somewhat philosophical post about TTC

    No June baby for me in 2012. And don't you hate it when AF decides not to show until about 10 minutes after you take a hpt? I mean, really, is it that hard to even have a tinge on the tp? *grumble grumble*

    But I suppose I should be grateful. I'm not lying on the floor in excruciating pain or throwing up, like I was two months ago. And I'm not miscarrying. I'd rather not be getting pregnant than losing baby after baby.

    You know, people told me when we first got married that because we didn't use BC we'd be having babies every year. We've been married almost five years, and I feel very lucky to have even one child. I don't know where people get this notion that it's easy to get pregnant, but for most of the women I know it's not. It seems like it's divided into two categories: couples who get pregnant if they so much as wink at each other without two layers of protection, and couples that struggle month after month to have children.

    I feel lucky because even though DH and I fall into the latter category, two years is just not that long to have to wait for a child. I know women who had to wait ten years for their first baby. I know others who were never able to have children. It's only been 18 months so far this time, and I'm only 29 years old, so it's very likely that I'll eventually have another baby at some point.

    I just wish I had some idea of how long this is going to take....
    Harmony, JM, A, & M Our preschool-at-home blog
    6w5d on 6/19/07 hb of 107 bpm 10/1/07. Lost at 7w6d



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    Sorry it didn't work out this month. You have a very positive outlook, and it sounds like you've been through a lot. I really hope it happens sooner rather than later for you. Personal question, but have you pursued any fertility testing yet to see if there is a reason for your difficulties? Or just waiting it out a bit longer? (I am a pretty impatient person as far as this is all concerned, but part of it is that my age has pushed me to look into things sooner). I agree....being 29 gives you lots of time!

    Quote Originally Posted by harmonybear View Post

    I don't know where people get this notion that it's easy to get pregnant, but for most of the women I know it's not. It seems like it's divided into two categories: couples who get pregnant if they so much as wink at each other without two layers of protection, and couples that struggle month after month to have children.
    I would agree with this. I have thought that the "average couple" who will get pregnant in 6 months-a year doesn't really exist. The "average" is mostly composed of people who get pregnant within 1-2 months or those that take far longer. I actually think the person who gets pregnant somewhere in between is more rare, not "average"! You see it all the time on these boards....pg in 1-2 months or struggling!

    Oh....sorry about the wasted HPT....done that myself!
    ~Kara~

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    Mega Poster harmonybear's Avatar
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    Well I posted a bit too soon about not being in pain on the floor. But I didn't throw up or black out this time, for which I am still very grateful.

    Kara, I'm about 90% certain I have endometriosis. I have very painful periods (sometimes worse than unmedicated labor was), clotting, painful urination close to time for AF, a history of miscarriage and infertility, significant bloating throughout the month (though worse closer to AF), and pelvic pain, just to name a few.

    But then again, I was also 90% certain I was pg this month. And the only way to diagnose endo is through surgery. I would really hate to go through all that just to be told that it wasn't endo. Also, to be honest, I'm scared of surgery and so I've just assumed that's what I have and said that 'some day' if it gets bad enough, I'll pursue it further.

    Well, two months ago was when I hit that threshold. DH and I both thought he was going to have to take me to the ER. I decided then that I was going to do something about it. I've seen my regular doctor and a midwife since then, and I have another midwife appointment on Wednesday. After this appointment, I am going to submit my records to this practice, which is somewhat close to where we live, and which has some pretty glowing reviews online. I've talked to my mom about taking care of me and DD after surgery. She's a teacher, so I'll have to schedule it either during spring break or summer vacation. DH thinks MIL can come stay for a couple of weeks after that to watch DD for me and help around the house.

    Of course, if I get pregnant before that all this will change, but at this point I'm going to at least talk with the CEC to see what they think, even if surgery has to be scheduled for later on after a baby is born.
    Harmony, JM, A, & M Our preschool-at-home blog
    6w5d on 6/19/07 hb of 107 bpm 10/1/07. Lost at 7w6d



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    Community Host AnnaRO's Avatar
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    It's a rough roller coaster ride for sure. I hope you get your BFP sooner rather than later.

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    Posting Addict alwayssmile's Avatar
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    We're almost to our 5 year point of being married and not using BC. It's depressing when others ask what BC we used for the first 3 years of marriage since we didn't have any pregnancies then. I wish I knew how long too!

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    Prolific Poster Leah261's Avatar
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    Sounds like you've been through a lot! I'm sorry it's been such a rough road. You definitely seem to have a positive outlook. I was diagnosed with PCOS a few years ago but had a terrible time getting the diagnosis. I went to four different doctors, three of which thought I had it and one that was sure I didn't. The one who thought I didn't was an OBGYN too. Not long after that I changed from him to my mom's OBGYN and he confirmed it. Thankfully, mine isn't that bad. They think it's related to me being immune compromised. I worried for a long time that when my husband and I were ready to have a baby that we wouldn't be able to easily or at all because I knew I had problems so I talked to my doctor about it a lot before we were anywhere close to TTC. He told me he would just go ahead and start me on a low dose of Clomid because he thought it would take a long time otherwise. It really helped to have that plan with the doctor ahead of time and the Clomid really hasn't been that bad. Have you tried taking anything in the past?

    Also, I completely understand how you feel about not wanting to have the surgery to see if you have endo or not. The doc that said I didn't have PCOS told me he'd do the surgery if I wanted him to and I considered it but it does seem like an awful big deal to go through just to get a confirmed diagnosis. On the bright side though I had a hemorrhaged ovarian cyst removed through laproscopic surgery a few years ago and the recovery wasn't so bad. The worst part about it in my case was the blood loss that I had from the cyst it wasn't the surgical procedure itself that was difficult. I had sinus surgery this year and I think that in some ways the sinus surgery was harder to go through. I recovered a little faster but it was a lot more painful. I didn't have much pain with the cyst surgery really so it might not be so bad to have it done to see if you have endo, especially if they can do something to help your pain and your TTC.

    Sorry this was so long. Your post touched me and I feel for you. It took me nearly 10 years to have my immune disease diagnosed and get proper treatment and it's very frustrating to go through something like that for so long with no answers. I understand how you feel! I hope everything gets better and that your journey gets easier from here on out!
    MMC 4/12
    Leah (27)
    Drew (30)
    Diagnosed PCOS 2009 and Endometriosis May 2013
    Currently foster parents hoping to adopt
    Got our first placement at 2 days old 11/19 and hoping she is our forever daughter


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    Super Poster NutMeg4189's Avatar
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    I'm really sorry to hear about what your going through.

    I don't know if it's something you would be interested but I read this blog, http://singleinfertilefemale.blogspot.com/. It's a single woman who lives in Alaska who is battling with Endo and tried IVF twice. It seems like she has a lot of information about endo and may be a good resource/way to "meet" other people with Endo or similar problems. It might be worth a look.
    Megan
    10/2008 11/2011

    It's a Boy !!! Nolan is due 3/2 !


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    Harmony, I remember now an earlier discussion we had about how you thought you had endo. I would agree your symptoms are very suspicious. You are smart to seek out a specialist in endo.....the doctor I saw was 100% sure I had endo just by my medical history and a physical exam. (he could actually feel it in certain spots).

    Anyway, when I sought out this doctor, I wanted to get pregnant, but the pain I was having was seriously interfering with life (serious cramps, bloating, GI problems, pelvic pain throughout the month-to the extent I couldn't exercise, pain with BD.....). I knew I wanted it addressed regardless of TTC. I have felt immensely better since surgery, can run again, BD without pain. I am in fear of it coming back as I have more cycles TTC. My "plan" was to get pg immediately, then spend the rest of my years until menopause on BC, which works great for my symptoms, even though I don't love it. I am very happy I did the surgery.

    I had only a laparoscopy and the doctor was able to remove all the endo he could see except one area (he felt it would be unsafe to remove it due to it's location on my bladder). Some women need a laparotomy, which the doctor would decide during the laparoscopy and schedule later. It depends on how invasive the endo is. Anyhow, I was in surgery about 2 hours, went home the same day. I was very sore and had help with my kids for about a week, but I was able to walk around, even go out for dinner a few days later. By one week later, I was on my own with my kids again (hubby back at work)and doing well. I think by about two weeks, I felt great except for incisional soreness, which was no big deal.

    I know everyone's experience is different, but for me, it really wasn't bad at all. Very much worth it.

    I hope that helps you a little. I wish you luck with your decision on what to do.
    ~Kara~

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    I know, it seems amazing that so many people get pregnant by accident! WTF?
    I'm sorry you have to be so miserable when AF arrives. Ugh. I used to have periods like that, I would have such horrible cramps I would have to go home from work, take painkillers and just writhe around on my bed until I finally just fell sleep. I passed out a couple times too. I once had it happen while I was in the shower, I remember stumbling out of the shower and grabbing a towel to get to my bedroom before I passed out, and woke up naked lying on my bed! The towel was on the floor by the bathroom door. I remember thinking "If this is how it feels just to have my period, how will I ever survive labor?!" I think my AF cramps hurt more than my contrax did, although my contrax were far more intense, if that makes sense. It just didn't HURT the way the cramps did. I don't have endo though. Have you ever taken BCPs? My period pain completely went away when I went on BCPs. No cramps whatsoever. It was like a miracle. I went off them about 4 years ago and now I get "normal" cramps, it's a little uncomfortable for a few hours on the first day of AF, but I can still go about my day and never have to take any painkillers for it. NEVER went back to the way it was, thank goodness.
    I recently was diagnosed with a different chronic disease, and suffered for several years before I finally went and got diagnosed because like endo, the diagnosis required subjecting myself to a pretty uncomfortable procedure. I finally couldn't take it anymore and now I really wish I had done it sooner! Once I had the diagnosis and could start treating it, life got so much better. It was such a relief just to KNOW what was wrong with me. The surgery is scary, but once you do it and get it over with, you will feel so much better. Even if you turn out not to have endo, it will be such a relief to have some answers and to not have the surgery looming in front of you anymore. Good luck, I hope you feel better soon!!
    Maggie
    Married Brian 8/11/07
    DS Griffin 1/18/09, DS Ronan 7/3/12



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    Prolific Poster Leah261's Avatar
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    Just had to tell ya this BFN and AF showing up a few minutes later happened to me too this morning! So annoying, but at least we're in this together!
    MMC 4/12
    Leah (27)
    Drew (30)
    Diagnosed PCOS 2009 and Endometriosis May 2013
    Currently foster parents hoping to adopt
    Got our first placement at 2 days old 11/19 and hoping she is our forever daughter


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