Thread: What would you do?

So this cycle DH and I are taking a step back and reevaluating how we want to proceed with TTC. We originally wanted to try this cycle just like we would anytime but without the IF meds. I had also decided no OPKs, no day 21 progesterone, that I just need a break in general from worrying about it and testing for it and all of that. So we thought we'd just DTD every other for like two weeks so we made sure we wouldn't miss my O date. Now I'm wondering if maybe we should just not really try but not really prevent. I'm just feeling like we've been trying SO hard and it's just been so exhausting both physically and emotionally. If all goes well I'm hoping to start Femara next cycle in which case I'll be back on the drugs and the really trying and the day 21 tests and all of that. That's really what I want to do I think but it's making me wonder what's best for this cycle. Part of me just wants to do what we want to do and not worry about it. I just don't want to get to the 2WW or around there and start wondering if it could have been different if we'd done more or something. I also hear so many stories about women who stop really trying and then it happens that I'm afraid it'll be on my mind no matter what we do. I think I'll wonder if I'm pregnant unless we do prevent and I don't want to prevent completely.

Anyone have any suggestions or has anyone been through something like this before where you're kind of taking a break? The biggest reason for the break right now is that I was crazy over Thanksgiving and I really just want to enjoy the holidays and not have all the TTC stress. Of course I want to get pregnant ASAP but it's just been so difficult and I want to feel good right now and not be so sad. I also know me and how I worry and obsess over things and I worry that no matter what we do I'll stress over the 2WW anyway even if we aren't really trying. Ugh! I'm going in circles now thinking about this. Any advice or ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance ladies!

Originally Posted by Leah261

So this cycle DH and I are taking a step back and reevaluating how we want to proceed with TTC. We originally wanted to try this cycle just like we would anytime but without the IF meds. I had also decided no OPKs, no day 21 progesterone, that I just need a break in general from worrying about it and testing for it and all of that. So we thought we'd just DTD every other for like two weeks so we made sure we wouldn't miss my O date. Now I'm wondering if maybe we should just not really try but not really prevent. I'm just feeling like we've been trying SO hard and it's just been so exhausting both physically and emotionally. If all goes well I'm hoping to start Femara next cycle in which case I'll be back on the drugs and the really trying and the day 21 tests and all of that. That's really what I want to do I think but it's making me wonder what's best for this cycle. Part of me just wants to do what we want to do and not worry about it. I just don't want to get to the 2WW or around there and start wondering if it could have been different if we'd done more or something. I also hear so many stories about women who stop really trying and then it happens that I'm afraid it'll be on my mind no matter what we do. I think I'll wonder if I'm pregnant unless we do prevent and I don't want to prevent completely.

Anyone have any suggestions or has anyone been through something like this before where you're kind of taking a break? The biggest reason for the break right now is that I was crazy over Thanksgiving and I really just want to enjoy the holidays and not have all the TTC stress. Of course I want to get pregnant ASAP but it's just been so difficult and I want to feel good right now and not be so sad. I also know me and how I worry and obsess over things and I worry that no matter what we do I'll stress over the 2WW anyway even if we aren't really trying. Ugh! I'm going in circles now thinking about this. Any advice or ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance ladies!

We all need a break every once in a while. It sounds like JLIH is the way for you to go this cycle. Enjoy the holidays and remind yourself that you'll be back to "trying" soon. If I was feeling burnt out right now I would give myself a break and just bd whenever I was in the mood. It's healthy to re-connect with your husband!

Thanks so much. I'm such an obsessive, worrying person sometimes I think that may be what's best. DH is in the process of preparing for finals which is kicking his butt right now and I'm trying to fit in all the work I can before the holidays. We're so busy already and sometimes with all of this I feel so far away from him just because I feel so alone while TTC. He's completely in this with me but when it's your body and not theirs I think you can't help but feel alone with it sometimes. I just hope I'm not still hoping when it's almost time for AF to show up. Knowing me I will be even if we don't try. I hate that I'm that way sometimes.

I agree. I don't know how your life/love life is in general, but I know for me to actually DTD every other night is a PROJECT so it wouldn't be like taking a break.

I think you and your DH should just enjoy each other this month and DTD when ever you feel like it. You need to clear your mind, re-group, and revitalize your spirit. And I'm sure DH could use a little bit too.

Start the New Year refreshed and ready to make some babies

Originally Posted by nero1281

I agree. I don't know how your life/love life is in general, but I know for me to actually DTD every other night is a PROJECT so it wouldn't be like taking a break.

I think you and your DH should just enjoy each other this month and DTD when ever you feel like it. You need to clear your mind, re-group, and revitalize your spirit. And I'm sure DH could use a little bit too.

Start the New Year refreshed and ready to make some babies

Thanks so much for this. I'd say we have a good love life but DTD every other day is not an easy task. It does feel a bit like a chore after a while. I asked DH what he thought the other day and he said he thought we should just DTD whenever we want. Of course after that he added we'd want to DTD all the time cause he's silly and he just had to say that I guess. Lol. I think I'm probably even going to ignore if it's around the time I'm O'ing or not and just be normal this month. I like the idea of starting over in the New Year with a new plan and we're working on the plan now. Last Christmas was so exciting for us because it was our first as a married couple and we also met right before Christmas so it's always a special time of year for us. I want it to be special and not forced. So here's to taking a real break for this cycle! And so happy that I'm not starting Clomid tomorrow and gearing up for miserable hot flashes and terrible mood swings like the last 3 months.

Originally Posted by nero1281

I agree. I don't know how your life/love life is in general, but I know for me to actually DTD every other night is a PROJECT so it wouldn't be like taking a break.

I think you and your DH should just enjoy each other this month and DTD when ever you feel like it. You need to clear your mind, re-group, and revitalize your spirit. And I'm sure DH could use a little bit too.

Start the New Year refreshed and ready to make some babies

I'm so glad you said this about it being more like a PROJECT to DTD EOD!!! I feel the same way but didn't want to say so and be the only one LOL. I'm so tired by the end of the day and so is DH that sex is usually the last thing on our minds. if we are not TTC I'd say once a month is our norm. Isn't that horrible?

Originally Posted by glwolf

I'm so glad you said this about it being more like a PROJECT to DTD EOD!!! I feel the same way but didn't want to say so and be the only one LOL. I'm so tired by the end of the day and so is DH that sex is usually the last thing on our minds. if we are not TTC I'd say once a month is our norm. Isn't that horrible?

That's not horrible. Lol. That happens to us sometimes and we've only been married a year and have no kids yet. Haha. Most of the time when it's like that with us it's because of my immune issues. I'm sick with bad infections or something and just so not into it. Or I'm on antibiotics because of all the infections and they make my stomach a disaster and I feel incredibly unsexy. Or I have a kidney stone and just the thought of DTD is painful. My poor DH. I always ask him if he wishes he'd found someone less sick that could have sex more. Haha. He just tells me "I was a hermit for 8 years and didn't have sex that whole time. I think I can handle a few weeks." Haha. He really was a hermit for a while there. He's shy. Anyway, I don't think it's horrible at all! I suspect many of us feel that way! If you do something enough that's kind of what happens I think.

Originally Posted by Leah261

That's not horrible. Lol. That happens to us sometimes and we've only been married a year and have no kids yet. Haha. Most of the time when it's like that with us it's because of my immune issues. I'm sick with bad infections or something and just so not into it. Or I'm on antibiotics because of all the infections and they make my stomach a disaster and I feel incredibly unsexy. Or I have a kidney stone and just the thought of DTD is painful. My poor DH. I always ask him if he wishes he'd found someone less sick that could have sex more. Haha. He just tells me "I was a hermit for 8 years and didn't have sex that whole time. I think I can handle a few weeks." Haha. He really was a hermit for a while there. He's shy. Anyway, I don't think it's horrible at all! I suspect many of us feel that way! If you do something enough that's kind of what happens I think.

Leah you're such a sweetheart you always make me feel better!

Originally Posted by glwolf

Leah you're such a sweetheart you always make me feel better!

Aww thanks! You always make me feel better too so I'm just returning the favor.

I agree that EOD is a chore! I like JLIH better than TTC. We've never been the type to DTD every day or every other day. Once or twice a week is about the norm for us, and has been ever since we got married. We try to time it well during the week when I ovulate, but other than that we just let things be and are happier for it.

That's not to say that you shouldn't work hard to get pg, or that everyone should JLIH. But I think a TTC break is a really good idea every now and then, and hopefully you'll come out from it refreshed and ready to hit the ground running again.