So IVF #2 was a bust. My beta was today but I knew yesterday. I had a horrible headache yesterday, exactly like the ones I get before AF, and I started spotting. With IVF #1, same thing happened day before my beta as well. I started full AF around 11:00am today so I was pretty prepared when the nurse called. I had a good cry last night, and have had my moments today, but for the most part I'm taking it better than I did last time.
I took a 1/2 day because I wasn't really able to concentrate at work and met DH for lunch. We talked about our initial reactions and what we think the next steps are. I know I can't physically or emotionally take another cycle anytime soon. We're definitely open to adoption, but our hearts just don't feel ready to stop trying for a bio child either. So for now, we are going to take 6-12 months off. I'm going to get back into running, enjoying a little bit of wine and try my best to relax. As much as I love my RE, I'm just not feeling very confident in the lab my clinic uses when I read how embies are growing in other labs compared to mine, so I think we are going to look around at other clinics. We're even thinking about considering CCRM since they are one of the best. They are a lot more expensive (plus travel expenses) but we'll have this time we're taking off to pray through everything and see what we feel like is the best next step.
Thanks so much for everyone's support and positive thoughts and prayers. I'm not planning on being a stranger. For some reason I think it's easier to be on these boards when I'm not cycling because I'm less of a mental wreck. Good luck to everyone cycling right now!!
Ugh, I'm so sorry! I've been checking for updates!! I completely understand and taking a break sometimes is the best thing to do. When dealing with infertility you tend to loose yourself and you need time to get back to normalcy before attempting again. :bighug:
:bigarmhug: I'm so sorry. I'm glad you and DH were able to sit down and talk about your feelings and plans to move forward. Maybe this cycle wasn't has hard as last because you had experienced something like this before. It sounds like it's a good idea to take a break and focus on you and DH. I did the same thing after my 2nd cycle. We took an 8 month break just to regroup and enjoy things we hadn't been enjoying. We also researched different clinics for a 2nd opinion. One of them being CCRM also. That's the one in Colorado, right? If you feel like things aren't going as they should at your clinic, then I would definately get a 2nd opinion. Even if the 3rd cycle doesn't work with a new RE, you know you did something different. That was my case and I felt at peace with trying a different RE. I look forward to getting to know you better on here. Come join us on the chat thread.
I'm so sorry Meg...We are currently using CCRM (we live in Colorado) and they are phenomenal! They have very good stats and the doctors/nurses are wonderful and really responsive. I would recommend them highly....
I don't blame you at all for looking at other clinics... just seems like you guys have so much going for you and then end up with huge disappointment. Hope you can find some peace and healing during the upcoming months. Each time you have been so, so close!
Hugs sweetie. I know how hard it is to give up the dream of a biological child. Take the time you need. We are here if you need to talk.
I am so sorry. I can not even imagine how disappointing that is. My heart breaks for you because this IVF thing is so hard. Emotionally and financially. I think it is good to take a break. I also understand you are not ready to give up on the hope of a bio-child. I can't remember...do you have any frosties? Could your next cycle be a FET? Just thinking about you.
Yes, CCRM is the one in Colorado. I'm glad you are having a good experience with them, Steph. It will be a long way away when we consider them, but I've heard it takes a while from the initial consult to your IVF cycle so I'm thinking we might set up a consult in the Spring just to get the ball rolling and see if it is even a doable option.
Kate- No, we don't have any frosties. None of the remaining embies ever made it far enough to freeze.
Thanks for all your support ladies. We're hanging in.