So IVF #2 was a bust. My beta was today but I knew yesterday. I had a horrible headache yesterday, exactly like the ones I get before AF, and I started spotting. With IVF #1, same thing happened day before my beta as well. I started full AF around 11:00am today so I was pretty prepared when the nurse called. I had a good cry last night, and have had my moments today, but for the most part I'm taking it better than I did last time.
I took a 1/2 day because I wasn't really able to concentrate at work and met DH for lunch. We talked about our initial reactions and what we think the next steps are. I know I can't physically or emotionally take another cycle anytime soon. We're definitely open to adoption, but our hearts just don't feel ready to stop trying for a bio child either. So for now, we are going to take 6-12 months off. I'm going to get back into running, enjoying a little bit of wine and try my best to relax. As much as I love my RE, I'm just not feeling very confident in the lab my clinic uses when I read how embies are growing in other labs compared to mine, so I think we are going to look around at other clinics. We're even thinking about considering CCRM since they are one of the best. They are a lot more expensive (plus travel expenses) but we'll have this time we're taking off to pray through everything and see what we feel like is the best next step.
Thanks so much for everyone's support and positive thoughts and prayers. I'm not planning on being a stranger. For some reason I think it's easier to be on these boards when I'm not cycling because I'm less of a mental wreck. Good luck to everyone cycling right now!!