Jenni. I'm sorry you are having a rough time. I hope talking to someone will help. Know that we are all still here for you! And nothing is too whiny here.
I'll probably not be posting much until Sunday night/Monday. We're going to be going to his sister's house tomorrow for the weekend.
There was a story on our news last night about a family who had 18 leftover embryos that they wanted to donate. They didn't want to do an anonymous donation through the clinic so she went on craiglist to a discussion forum. She found two couples who couldn't afford IVF so she is donating 9 embryos to each of them. She has met these families to make sure they are the right fit for them. In the contract she has it written that they will provide them with yearly updates. My old RE was interviewed since he was the one they went to and he said it was unusual for that many embryos to be leftover. Here is the story if anyone wants to watch it:
IVF #1-cancelled d/t embryos arresting before transfer (3/09)
IVF #2-BFP 9wks-7/30/09 (6/09)
IVF #3-BFN (5/10)
THanks for the support. Y'all are the best!
Not much going on here. Trying to throw myself into my caseload to distract myself but I fear that it has caused some tension with a co-worker of mine. People I tell ya! DH's birthday is tommorrow but I'm not "allowed" to celebrate it. He might get his wish because the only thing I have planned is having the yard mowed
My mom is coming up this weekend and will be accompanying me to go see Wicked with MIL and SIL (a present from Christmas). I'm really looking forward to it. All the cards have been sent for Sunday to all the moms in our lives so I hope to be able to focus what I do have and not that I'm not part of the "club". We'll see.
DH checked the finances and it's looking like we can try it again sooner than we thought. No earlier than June (the 5K with my bro is 6/16) but it's better than Fall like we had originally thought. We have our debriefing appt w/ RE 2 weeks from tomorrow so hopefully will get a better timeline at that point.
Hi to everyone! Exciting things happening around these parts.
Sitting at home alone (well lying actually). I do not do bed rest well. I thoughht it was weird that my ivf doc did not use ultrasound to place the embryos. He did use it during the mock transfer which I had to pay for out of pocket. I did not ask him about this but wish I had. You always have to be your own advocate. I am having all kinds of crazy thoughts. Did I say that I do not handle bed rest well? I am insanely jealous of those with docs who don't believe in this anymore. At least mine did not make me do those intramuscular progesterone shots. What will be, will be. I just hope he (the doc) did it right and the embies are where they are supposed to be.
Off work tomorrow. I need to get some things straightened out for this summer.
Tiffany, bedrest is actually very difficult, despite what people might think, esp if you're used to being busy and/or active. Are you taking the progesterone suppositories? I'm supposed to when the time comes but as I normally don't stick things up my hoo-ha (the only thing I used to stick there would be my nuva-ring, but only a few times coz I kept bleeding when I was using it so I had to stop), I dunno how I am going to be able to do this THREE TIMES a day!
Jenni, sounds like fun! Sorry your coworkers is getting all sensitive, some people really need to chill sometimes. Glad that you can try again sooner than you thought. Don't ever worry about being (too) whiney - we are all supportive and we get ya!
Meg, have a great weekend! Sounds like a lot of fun!
Talking about telling people about IVF...well, we hardly told anyone except my sister, and our DD's godparents (good friends of ours). I think DH has mentioned it to his mom too. My parents don't even know. I just don't feel comfortable having so many people IRL knowing about my IF and IVF journey. And with my mom, well, it just sets up all kinds of expectations = stress for me. But of course it's biting us in the butt b/c our ER is on Saturday am, and it could be quite early. I dunno who we can find to babysit DD for 3 hrs or so while we do this. Hope we can work this part out.
I'm trying to take each day one day at a time right now. Got deadlines at work, DD is coughing a lot, so I'm wondering if I should stay at home with her, got so many things to keep track of for IVF right now. Yikes!! Just reading this is giving me stress!
Survived my day of bedrest and today I spent the morning playing XBOX. Then I had lunch with family, went furniture shopping (looking/dreaming) with my husband and then had dinner with family. So, it was a fun but busy day. Back to work tomorrow for a long day. I am happy to stay busy though.
I guess I have been dealing with IF so long and I am soooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired of people asking me when we are going to have #2 that telling them what we are dealing with shuts them up. Or usually it shuts them up. Some people say the craziest stupidest stuff, but I am just the kind of person to let them know how ridiculous they are. Call me crazy. I hope it does some other poor soul some good.
Also, they took our $400 and froze the remaining embryo. So, we can spend another $1400 plus meds to transfer one embryo if it makes it through the dethawing process.
It is such a blessing to already have a child when going through this process. I don't think I am nearly as stressed out as I would be because I have someone who keeps me busy and I already have such an important role in his life. We have discussed that if this does not work out we will work hard to be more active in our niece and nephew's lives (i.e. taking them with us on vacation, having them come out for a week in the summer to visit, etc.)
Hope that you are still doing well on bedrest. I'm glad that you have a "distraction" of sorts. That's part of the reason why I want to get a dog (not implying at all that it's the same thing but it would help my "caretaker" tedencies).
Hope you are having fun Meg! I meant to tell you too Happy Nurses week!
Thinking of you Kara! Hope that every day has gotten better for you.
Not much here. Went out to dinner with in-laws for DH's birthday last night. My mom is coming into town tonight. Looking forward to it. My appt with the psychologist on Thursday can't get here soon enough.
Meg--thanks for posting that link! I'm curious--did you see Dr. Y for all of your IVF cycles? I thought I recalled you saying you had seen different doctors, but I can't remember?
Tiffany, glad you made it through bedrest! Now it will be good to go back to work and stay busy for the next several days.
Sophia-good luck finding someone to take care of DD during your procedures. Yes, secondary infertility has it's own challenges. I actually took a taxi to the hospital the other night so that we wouldn't have to wake the kids up and disrupt their whole night. I have had to ask huge favors of a wonderful neighbor to help me on various occasions during this whole process. She is the only neighbor that knows about it, even though I think my secret is on its way out now that I've missed lots of work time and haven't been seen outside in days and days. (We have a close network of friends in our neighborhood and people notice if you are not at the bus stop for a while) I am the same as you, I don't want to tell more people because I don't want all the wondering and expectation of whether it worked or not. My advice is, tell a few select people who you trust and can help you. They will probably love to assist you and it can help with the logistics a lot. Best of luck tomorrow!!
Jenni-I have probably said this before, but I have been talking to a counselor (not a psychologist, though) for a while and it has helped me immensely in dealing with a lot of family issues even before the infertility grief really set in. I really think counseling is under used and getting a little professional advice/coping skills is so helpful with so many things. I know you'll benefit so much from it. And I think getting a puppy is a wonderful idea! Have a great time with your mom.
Meg-hope you are having a great time with your family!
AFM-Doing so much better today, although I am still taking painkillers, but obviously will have to stop them by tomorrow morning. It's been really tough this week. Starting to get a bit nervous about the transfer. I need some reassurance that the bleeding/swelling will not affect success rates. Especially since I feel like I've been punched in the gut about 100x. I don't want the tension in my belly to decrease our chances. Will keep you posted tomorrow.
Have a good weekend all!
Hi ladies!!! I hope everyone is doing great! I am finally feeling better
I had a follow up with the RE on Wednesday and he basically said that even if decided to try again he would not recommend doing another cycle with DH's sperm only. He said that he would want to do a higher dosage of meds (risking OHSS) to get more eggs and fertilize half of the eggs with donor's and half with DH's sperm. Then he said he would transfer 3 embies (2 fertilized with DH's sperm if available and one donor) or 2 donor if none fertilized with DH's sperm. But this is totally a mute point because we are definitely not going to try again. I also had a discussion with DH about my "reproductive system." Since cervical cancer has been a problem in my family (3 aunts on my fathers side had it, my mother had it and my 30yo cousin had it) I really do not want to risk it and am thinking about a total hysterectomy in couple of years. He is on the fence about it, he thinks I should have options, but will support me in whatever I decide.
On a more positive note yesterday I became an aunt for the 3rd time!!!! She is beautiful, healthy and hungry little girl
Oh and I won a pre-screening passes for What to Expect When You are Expecting movie How ironic is that?
Hi ladies!!! I'm back and trying to catch up. Hope everyone had a great weekend.
Tiffany...glad you survived bedrest. Bedrest sounds like a great thing to think about but in reality it's torture. I always thought it would be nice to have 2 days to do nothing and be waited on but it wasn't that fun. I would get so uncomfortable because I'd get so bloated and have tons of backpain from laying all the time.
Jenni...did you have a fun time with your mom?
Erin...I went to Dr. Y for my first 2 cycles and for my last cycle to a clinic in Minneapolis. Dr. Y and I didn't "click" well and we had talked to Dr. C and he'd said he'd take over as our doc and Dr. Y didn't like that so sent us a certified letter saying we needed to seek treatment somewhere else. So yeah, he fired us. We had lots of other issues with him also. I hope you have a better experience with him than we did.
Mimi...glad you had your f/u and got some answers even if you aren't going to do another cycle. I think I'd probably do the same as you in regards to the hysterectomy. I want to get one just to get rid of my uterus since all it does is cause me problems. I figure it doesn't do what it's supposed to so why keep it.
I had a nice weekend with DH's family. My SIL and I went to a coffeeshop on Friday and did some shopping. DH dropped me off at their place on his way to a conference Thursday. He came back to his sister's on Friday night. Today we went to a pancake breakfast with his parents, sister and her family. We stood in line for 45 minutes for it. The Boy Scouts put it on. DH used to do it when he was young as a boy scout. We then met my mom for dinner when we got home. I am tired now. DH is gone now working out of town tonight so I have time to sit on my computer to catch up.
IVF #1-cancelled d/t embryos arresting before transfer (3/09)
IVF #2-BFP 9wks-7/30/09 (6/09)
IVF #3-BFN (5/10)