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  1. #761
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    One of my biggest issues in medicine is that we do not put patients on hospice soon enough. Families need more time to prepare. Pain and other suffering is not adequately addressed. It is a part of my practice that I enjoy because I think it is so important.

    Sorry to read about the accidents. I dont watch the news here because I used to work in an ER and I know what it is like to deliver really bad news about really young people. I also know what it is like to get that kind of news (my sister).

    I am missing my brother today. He had to put his cat to sleep and I wish I could have been there for him (and evdn gone with him if he had wanted).

  2. #762
    Mega Poster meggyrn's Avatar
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    I agree with you about hospice Tiffany. I think a lot of families are afraid of hospice and don't understand it. It doesn't mean you are giving up or that your loved is going to die tomorrow. My grandma passed away last November. She was put into hospice on a Friday and passed away that following Sunday. I had mentioned hospice a few times to my family but I think it was more-so her doc (she had a really bad doc). After she passed away my mom, aunt and grandpa said they wished they would've done it sooner. Even though she was in hospice for only 2 days it helped her pass away more comfortably and possibly speed up the process, but she was peaceful. I also explained to my family that hospice helps the family also, not just her. She had gotten Guillain–Barr? syndrome 7 1/2 years prior and never recovered from that. She had lost pretty much all movement to her arms and legs. At first she was able to walk but then didn't keep up with therapy and just got so weak. Her arms were very stiff so she couldn't move those. After she got it our hope was for her to be able to go home but she ended up going to a nursing home. My grandpa spent everyday with her there for 7 1/2 years and everyday in her hospital room at Mayo.

    Is this the brother that just visited? I'm sorry you couldn't be with him during that difficult time. It's such a hard thing to put an animal to sleep. Our dog died 1 1/2 years ago. She was around 20 years old and it was getting to the point where we had to think about putting her to sleep. DH wouldn't do it though. He said he'd just overdose her on insulin at home. We came home one day after being gone all day to her dying. We were able to be with her at home as she died. DH never had to make that decision to put her to sleep. It was strange because about 2 days before I said something to him about needing to think about doing something. Our dog was laying there looking at us. It was like she understood what we were saying and figured she'd make it easy on us. She was such a good dog. We haven't replaced her as we are gone from the house so much it'd be hard to have another dog. Plus she was such a good dog and I don't think we'd ever get a dog like her again. If I could be guarenteed a dog like her I'd get another in a heartbeat but it doesn't work that way.

    Meg-30 DH-42

    2 IUI's-BFN
    IVF #1-cancelled d/t embryos arresting before transfer (3/09)
    IVF #2-BFP 9wks-7/30/09 (6/09)
    IVF #3-BFN (5/10)

  3. #763
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    Is hospice similar to Palliative care? My mom is in palliative care, it is in a part of the nursing home she has been in for the last 4 years. She has Alzheimers and last September had a series of strokes. In March we were told any day but my mom is a bit stubborn. The stress of it all is so hard, harder for my sisters who are right there. I last saw my mom in December and during the 2 hours I was with her she opened her eyes twice for a few seconds. I meant to spend more time with her but it was just too hard for me.

    When my dad died he was in a palliative bed at the hospital. There was a second bed in the room that was closed and we were allowed to sleep there. Four of us kids took turns spending the night with him. It was difficult but he had refused treatment for his cancer so we knew the end was coming. They kept him comfortable and that made things easier for us. My step-mother insisted he was coming home (lots of denial there). My oldest sister was with him when he passed, well she was actually in the bathroom getting ready for work. The nurses were so awesome with our family, we could take as long as we needed to say good-bye, they brought us juice and cried with us. Dad had been in for 2 weeks when he finally passed, Sean and I did not think we would make it in time but he died the day before we were to fly home (so quick change of flights for the funeral).

  4. #764
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    Thanksgiving is this Monday (child ment) Robbie has tomorrow and Monday off school (lucky kid) but at least on Monday I have Sean around to help entertain him.

    Sean's nephew just got home from a mission for our church so I think we will be seeing him this weekend, as well as his niece and her family that live in Colorado. It will be nice to see them all.

    Sean and I are both waiting to hear about new jobs. We are both supposed to hear by tomorrow. I am so hopeful as we still have no money from disability yet (I am owed about $16,000) and money is so tight. The new job for Sean would be closer to home and we wouldn't have to buy a second car.

  5. #765
    Mega Poster meggyrn's Avatar
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    I would consider hospice and palliative care the same. In hospice the pt is taken off medications that were to extend life and given medications to keep them comfortable. Here a person qualifies for hospice if a doctor says they have less than 6 months to live. Some ppl are even discharged from hopsice. My hospice pt I see has been in hospice now for 6 months and is stilling living in an apartment by himself. So a person may not be at the "end" end of their life.

    DH and I just got done mowing. It is so cold. Yesterday the high was 85. This morning it's 46 and windy and feels like 36. We have a really big yard with LOTS of leaves so we pushed and bagged it all. Sadly the wind is going to cause more leaves to fall and there are still a ton of leaves on the tree. Tonight our city is having a "Downtown Sounds" chili cookoff. They close off main street and have a live band. DH and I talked about going down there but I'm thinking it will be too cold and miserable. We'll see. I always like going to chili cookoffs though.

    Meg-30 DH-42

    2 IUI's-BFN
    IVF #1-cancelled d/t embryos arresting before transfer (3/09)
    IVF #2-BFP 9wks-7/30/09 (6/09)
    IVF #3-BFN (5/10)

  6. #766
    Posting Addict mom2robbie's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by meggyrn View Post
    DH and I just got done mowing. It is so cold. Yesterday the high was 85. This morning it's 46 and windy and feels like 36.
    So, I guess you wouldn't want the snow we got overnight? It is gone from our backyard but the field behind our house has a light dusting. Maybe my allergies will let up a little now.

  7. #767
    Mega Poster meggyrn's Avatar
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    Strange...I swear I replied to you, Margaret. Must've not saved it. I wouldn't mind the snow about 1 1/2 months from now. We had a very mild winter last year so it will be interesting to see what our winter is like this year.

    Tiffany...how was dinner with the newlyweds?

    We ended up going to the chili cookoff tonight. There were about 13 entries. There were 3 that we really like so it was hard to choose who we thought was best. One business put pumpkin in it. That was one of our top 3. After we were there for a while it got pretty chilly. I guess you can't have a chili cookoff when it's warm, wouldn't be the same.

    The hand sculpture went well. There was another volunteer to watch and learn. I feel slightly more comfortable about doing them. I'd feel much better if I could do them with another volunteer just because there is so much that needs to be done in only a certain amount of time due to the mold material setting up. The volunteer that watched today said she'd do them with me. The coordinator is real good about making sure you tell her if you are not comfortable about something and making sure the hospice volunteering doesn't interfer with personal life. There's still a few more steps that I need to watch and do a few times before I'll feel 100% comfortable. They are a real neat thing and it's a nice service to offer. It's amazing the detail the sculptures capture, down to the hairs and veins in their hands.

    Meg-30 DH-42

    2 IUI's-BFN
    IVF #1-cancelled d/t embryos arresting before transfer (3/09)
    IVF #2-BFP 9wks-7/30/09 (6/09)
    IVF #3-BFN (5/10)

  8. #768
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    Our newlywed friends got tickets to a Marilyn Manson concert for their wedding (they have a bit different tastes than us), so we rescheduled for a couple of weeks from now.

    Someday, I'll talk to you guys about my opinions on hospice and docs that don't utilize it enough (i.e. some oncologists). The hand sculptures sound really cool and I am so thankful you are involved with that.

    The chili cookoff sounded like a lot of fun. It was blustery here too, but I am not complaining. Maybe I can borrow one of FILs winter jackets.

    I found out my brother has $2000 in vet bills to pay... he won't take our money to help, but I hope I can think of something really nice to do for him.

    I understand that about not replacing a pet when you are on the go all the time. We love to travel and cats are easy... we still might get a dog someday, as long as we can find some reasonable pet sitters in the area. I never had a dog growing up and I would love for my kids to get that experience...maybe when DS is 8.

    Tiffany

  9. #769
    Mega Poster meggyrn's Avatar
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    Sadly, I think a lot of oncologists don't utilize hospice because they feel like they aren't doing a good enough job or are giving up if they have a pt go into hospice. They feel their job is to give treatment so they don't understand keeping their pts comfortable. They want to offer every treatment possible even if it isn't realistic.

    It's nice to have friends with tastes in some ways. Offers some variety in life. I wish I had more friends. I was thinking about that today. Children mentioned...I have no friends around my age since my kids are older. There are women in town that are my age that I'd like to meet and get to know but they have babies and small children. If I had a smaller child I could meet these ppl in playgroup but I don't go since I have older kids. Just a "feel sorry for me" moment. A young dentist and his wife just bought a piece of land near us and they just had a baby. She's someone I'd like to get to know but I don't know how since she has a baby and my youngest is nearly 10.

    That's too bad about your brother and vet bills. We have a cat and cats are super easy. We can leave her for a week at a time and have a friend stop in to check on her. When we go to our lake house for an extended period of time we just bring her along. With our old dog she'd hop in the back of the van and ride to the lake with us but if we vacationed anywhere else we'd have to find a place for her. She was too old to be kenneled. It would've just been cruel to do. Also, if we got another dog we'd have to fence in our yard and we have a huge yard. We were able to let her out our back door and she'd run and do her thing and come back. Child mentioned...I think it's a good idea to get a dog when your son is 8 and maybe get a smaller dog. I have a friend who just replaced their Boston Terrior with another one and their daughter walks her twice around the block everyday for 50 cents. It gives the child some responsibility.

    Meg-30 DH-42

    2 IUI's-BFN
    IVF #1-cancelled d/t embryos arresting before transfer (3/09)
    IVF #2-BFP 9wks-7/30/09 (6/09)
    IVF #3-BFN (5/10)

  10. #770
    Posting Addict mom2robbie's Avatar
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    I didn't get the job Sean didn't get the job he was up for either.

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