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  1. #831
    Mega Poster
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    Meg - I know you won't believe this but even people who have their own biological children sometimes lack that bond with them despite their best efforts. I think things are still early in the vast scheme of their lives and yours - too early too worry on that too much. Secondly, it is truly amazing that you are in each other's lives. I know this sounds silly, but I really hope you do have your own biological child someday (if it is possible) but maybe this time has given you time to focus on a relationship with some girls who desperately need you whether they know it or not (please don't be offended - I would never wish infertility on anyone). I bet you the pain of not being there in the early days will fade with time. I never even look at my own son's baby pics that often - so doesn't come up much at our house.

    Margaret - Sorry again about your mom. Praying for healing for you. Also, my favorite thing women say who are thinking about conceiving is that they really want a baby born in "fill-in-the-month."

    I know many who tried longer than me, but I figured being in my late 20s, early 30s and putting my career aside that would be enough to achieve my plan of being a mom. I thank God every day that I decided to do that because it has been quite a journey. Also, glad I can do math and didn't listen to my doc who wanted to do more IUIs instead of moving straight to IVF... I know it is successful for some people, but I looked up the odds and was not impressed.

  2. #832
    Community Host meggyrn's Avatar
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    Our RE told us to go straight to IVF but we decided to try a couple IUI cycles so once we moved onto IVF we knew that we had done everything we could before moving onto IVF. I think I was just hoping it would work and we would prove our RE wrong. It is really irritating to hear ppl that plan the birth of their child around holidays or vacations for time off work. In the nursing field everyone wants their babies born around Thanksgiving because they'd be off Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years.

    Actually I have come to so much peace on not being able to get pregnant that I'm on BCP. I'm not on it for the purpose of birth control but to help my cycles and periods but not getting pregnant is a plus as of now. Before the BCP we were more of JLIH and figure it'd never happen with DH's bad swimmers and my old, crappy eggs. If I were to ever get pregnant it'd take a while to process. Since DH is so much older than me he'd be older when that child would graduate. We want to enjoy life as a couple after all the girls are out of the house since we didn't get that early in our marriage. There are pros and cons to both.

    No headache yet today. I think it's hormonal. I started spotting today so I'll break from my pills in a couple days when I decide I want to have a period. I still might start the nortriptyline to hopefully prevent the hormone migranes and help my IBS.

    Meg-30 DH-42

    2 IUI's-BFN
    IVF #1-cancelled d/t embryos arresting before transfer (3/09)
    IVF #2-BFP 9wks-7/30/09 (6/09)
    IVF #3-BFN (5/10)

  3. #833
    Posting Addict mom2robbie's Avatar
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    Tiffany - I know! You can really say I want a baby born in *month* and have it happen?? Wish it was true.

    Meg - I was adopted and let me tell you, my mom is my mom. There is no other mother in my life that I consider as my mother (not the lady who gave birth to me or my step-mom)

  4. #834
    Community Host meggyrn's Avatar
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    Margaret...I'm glad you feel that way about your mom. It makes me feel better. Children mentioned...I know the girls consider me their mother. They don't call me mom, they call me Megan, but part of that is I call myself Megan and DH calls me Megan. I'm not even really sure they remember their bio mom, esp. DD3. She was one week shy of turning 3. The other two were 4 and 5. The whole nature vs. nurture thing is really interesting though. DD3 is pretty OCD and neurotic like I am.

    I feel pretty productive today. I ran 2 miles, got summer clothes put away in the attic, had lunch with DH at the hospital, had violin lessons and put up some pics in a frame that's needed to be done forever. The weather is so beautiful. Sunny and 75 degrees which is unusual for this time of year. I better enjoy it because this weekend it's supposed to be in the 40's.

    Meg-30 DH-42

    2 IUI's-BFN
    IVF #1-cancelled d/t embryos arresting before transfer (3/09)
    IVF #2-BFP 9wks-7/30/09 (6/09)
    IVF #3-BFN (5/10)

  5. #835
    Super Poster DancingNancy's Avatar
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    Continuing to think about you Margaret. Hope everyone else is doing well. I do have a "What would you do?" for you. So you remember the neighborhood ladies party I went to last week? Well, one of the ladies there is an on-air personalty for a morning show on a popular rock station here in town. I wasn't as star-struck as some of the people at the party mainly because I don't listen to the show - it's very much a "shock-jock" show. She asked my advice about her plants at the party and I told her I would bring over some fertilizer the next day that I had had success with. I did and we had a pretty good 20 min friendly conversation or so I thought. My friend at work that does listen started asking me questions this morning like "What did you do to blank's flowers?" Apparently the woman was talking about our encounter but made up 99% of it. She was saying not-so-nice things about me and our house and our yard. Mind you, I've met this woman twice. I'm upset about it but moreso because there are people in the neighborhood that listen and don't know that 99% of it isn't true. I'm afraid now that they REALLY won't invite me to do things in the neighborhood now. What should I do? Drop it and pretend like it never happened? Talk to her about it the next time I see her (we live right next door so we are going to bump into each other)? TIA

  6. #836
    Community Host meggyrn's Avatar
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    Jenni...I'm sorry about this with your neighbor. That's a tough situation. If it were me I think I'd pretend it never happened. Probably as a radio host a majority of what she says is not true, kind of like she's acting. I know the station that I listen to the DJ has his "radio" name which is different from his real name. It's too bad that you were put in a situation like this.

    We traded our car in today. Of course, it's yucky and rainy so it's already dirty. My parents ended up buying our old car. This is the 2nd car of ours they have bought. They traded in the car they bought from us before for our old one. Tonight my parents are taking us out for dinner to thank us for doing work at their lake house. Afterwards we'll come back to our place and have apple dumplings and cinnamon ice cream from the apple orchard. Children mentioned...tomorrow all 3 girls have conferences and they are really worried about them. They really have no reason to worry but they are afraid the teacher is going to spring something on us that they didn't know about. They all have straight A's. Tomorrow night we are going to go to "Hotel Transylvania." Then on Friday we leave for our weekend trip to Minneapolis to shop and go to a water park.
    mom2robbie likes this.

    Meg-30 DH-42

    2 IUI's-BFN
    IVF #1-cancelled d/t embryos arresting before transfer (3/09)
    IVF #2-BFP 9wks-7/30/09 (6/09)
    IVF #3-BFN (5/10)

  7. #837
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    Jenni - It is her job to entertain, not tell the truth. I hate listening to those types of morning shows because they are such BS and a complete waste of brain space. If you do not want to end up in another radio segment, I would just leave it alone. In fact, it is best if you pretend you never listen to her show and you forgot that was even her job. And, I would never listen to her show. Ever.

    Funny, how your girls are nervous about conferences which are probably a delight for their teachers to do since they won't be horribly uncomfortable. I wish kids could hear their parents and teachers gush about them; especially important in those pre-teen, teen years.

  8. #838
    Community Host meggyrn's Avatar
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    I agree with Tiffany. Bringing it up could cause a lot more problems. And think if your work friend wouldn't have told you about it, you'd never know about it. There's a reason you don't listen to her show.

    Children mentioned....the 2 youngest girls are so nervous about conferences. They rode with my parents to dinner and that's all they talked about on the way there and the way back. On the way home DD3 asked for a Tums when she got home because she had an upset stomach. I noticed half way through dinner she got real quiet and didn't eat much. We told her there was nothing to worry about and if there was we would've already heard from her teacher. Then once we reassured her she was acting fine. I think she just had a nervous stomach. They will all feel much better after it is all over. They wish they could skip over today.

    Meg-30 DH-42

    2 IUI's-BFN
    IVF #1-cancelled d/t embryos arresting before transfer (3/09)
    IVF #2-BFP 9wks-7/30/09 (6/09)
    IVF #3-BFN (5/10)

  9. #839
    Super Poster DancingNancy's Avatar
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    Thanks! I feel much better about it today. I think with everything else that happened this week, I'm just overly sensitive KWIM?
    I hope the conferences went well Meg! I agree that it's crucial for teens/pre-teens to hear how well they are doing in school. I have bookclub tonight. Haven't finished the book but hope to at work since I'm basically caught up for the first time in years
    Day 4 of 'lifestyle change' is going well. I did dream about crackers (Lance Captain Wafers to be exact) last night. Probably not a good sign...

  10. #840
    Community Host meggyrn's Avatar
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    Jenni...what book are you reading for book club? I just got done reading "The Worst Hard Time." It's a book about the untold stories of Dust Bowl survivors. Glad you are doing well with your lifestyle changes.

    Child/baby mentioned....
    My SIL had her baby the other day (I think). This is the BIL that was so insensitive when telling me they were pregnant. BIL called DH last night to tell us she had a girl. DH wasn't even going to answer the phone but then I told him I could bet why he was calling. DH let DD3 talk to him after he had talked to him briefly. When DD3 got off the phone she said the baby was born on the 23rd. I was thinking it had just been born not long before the call since I know I'd be calling family right away if I had a new baby. I was giving them the benefit of the doubt that maybe they wanted some time to themselves before telling ppl. I got on facebook this morning and there were posts congratulating them yesterday morning at 7am. So she obviously did have her baby on the 23rd and they chose to tell friends before family. I'm kind of offended but it's no different than having all friends in your wedding and none of your brothers. So I have no details of my new niece. I barely know what her name is because BIL didn't tell DH much. I'm just annoyed by it all.

    Meg-30 DH-42

    2 IUI's-BFN
    IVF #1-cancelled d/t embryos arresting before transfer (3/09)
    IVF #2-BFP 9wks-7/30/09 (6/09)
    IVF #3-BFN (5/10)

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