Devastated...

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-kate-'s picture
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Devastated...

Hi ladies,
I am at home with some bad news from RE. Haven't told anyone but DH. Just sitting here... in shock. They told me that they we are canceling my IUI cycle. They got back my labs. My AMH (anti-mullerian hormone) is 0.08. They look for something above 1. I said..wow its 0.8 and she clarified 0.08. She said my RE recommends aggressive treatment. Either IVF or IVF w/donor eggs. She said coupled with DH's low motility and morphology- that IVF is the best course. She said the good thing I have on my side is my age (31), so my eggs are probably good quality, but there isn't much of them. They won't know for sure until they do the retrieval. There is a chance that they aren't able to get anything off retrieval. I can't believe this. I don't want to spend all this money on IVF if I don't have good chances. I will go straight to adoption if that is the case. Anyone else have any experience with an extremely low AMH? It all seemed a blur on the phone and I just told her I had to go and that I would call later. I just didn't know what to say or ask. How did you all get the cash for IVF? Save or get a loan? Any advice would be great. I feel very overwhelmed.

mom2robbie's picture
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:bigarmhug:

I am so sorry. I am not even sure what to say. For us IVF is not an option, one is cost and it is more as I would have to use donor eggs.

Here you can claim any medical costs on your income tax. Not sure if you can do that in the States.

I know that private adoption is a small fortune in the State, here it is about $10,000, still a lot but I know adoptive parents down there have paid $30,000-50,000.

I think you need to take some time and think about things. Could you still do a cycle with just the clomid and no IUI?

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I'm so sorry Kate. As far as IVF goes DH and I have already looked into a fertility loan if we need it. That is the only way we are going to be able to afford it as our insurance doesn't cover anything. Does your insurance cover anything at all? I know there are also grants that you can apply for, but I know they take awhile to decide. I know someone who applied for a grant a year ago and found out that she can have 2 cycles of IVF free, but it did take a year to find out. Just remember that you do have options!

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I would definitely talk to her more about what your chances might be with IVF. I know this is horribly devastating, but I am so glad you did not waste your time with IUI in this case. We looked at adoption very seriously as well before going down the IVF route, but knew that we would be able to afford adoption later if IVF did not work. Getting a loan to have a baby does seem a little crazy to me as they cost a fortune after you have them, but with time-ticking... I don't have any advice to offer. Just support. I hope you and your hubby can come up with a solution you can both live with. I was looking more at international adoption for a variety of reasons. I know that foster-to-adopt can be much, much less expensive but has its own trials and tribulations. There are also embryos for adoption.

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I'm so sorry you've received this news. I agree though that it's better that you found this out now before going ahead with IUI. What is your FSH and E2? Did they do an antral follicle count? IVF is the best option for you but I can't answer the question of doing it with your own eggs or donor eggs. I was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure after two IVF cycles. I only had 6 eggs retrieved each time of very poor quality. My RE didn't do any blood testing on me as he was 100% sure the IF was male factor. After two cycles I had an AMH done by my ob/gyn. I went to a 2nd RE for my 3rd cycle and had a better response, 12 eggs retrieved, but still of poor quality with only one making it to transfer. I'm glad your RE did a good workup of you before starting so you know your best treatment options. If you do decide on your own eggs, they will have to be more aggressive, which in turn means more cost of meds. We had no insurance coverage so we had to save money for it all. There are women on here who have also had success with donor eggs and women who have had success with having POF. One did a couple cycles of IVF which were cancelled and then had success with an IUI.
Child/pregnancy mentioned...
My BFF, whom I met on another IVF forum, was diagnosed with POF also. She had success her first IVF cycle and now has an almost 2 year old daughter. She is also currently 7 months pregnant with their 2nd child. That was a surprise, unplanned pregnancy. She got pregnant her first month after she finished breast feeding and had only had one period. So you just never know.

-kate-'s picture
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"mom2robbie" wrote:

:bigarmhug:

I am so sorry. I am not even sure what to say. For us IVF is not an option, one is cost and it is more as I would have to use donor eggs.

Here you can claim any medical costs on your income tax. Not sure if you can do that in the States.

I know that private adoption is a small fortune in the State, here it is about $10,000, still a lot but I know adoptive parents down there have paid $30,000-50,000.

I think you need to take some time and think about things. Could you still do a cycle with just the clomid and no IUI?

I hear what you are saying...the cost is crazy. We are working on getting a loan. And yes...donor eggs is way more expensive. Right now I'm not there. I'm not giving up on having my own biological child yet. Yes, adoption is expensive and that price is about right. I got a chance to talk to the office and asked a bunch of questions. Feeling better and trying to remain hopeful. They said that they can try the IUI if we want but because of DH's sperm it will probably not work. To save wtih cost- IVF may be better instead of wasting money on IUIs. Feel like I'm in Vegas. No certain outcome and money is on the line.

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"lovebuggy1" wrote:

I'm so sorry Kate. As far as IVF goes DH and I have already looked into a fertility loan if we need it. That is the only way we are going to be able to afford it as our insurance doesn't cover anything. Does your insurance cover anything at all? I know there are also grants that you can apply for, but I know they take awhile to decide. I know someone who applied for a grant a year ago and found out that she can have 2 cycles of IVF free, but it did take a year to find out. Just remember that you do have options!

Steph,
What company did you guys use? My RE gave me 3 names. My insurance covers 50% but we have to front all the money and be reimbursed by insurance.

-kate-'s picture
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"neoncandle" wrote:

I would definitely talk to her more about what your chances might be with IVF. I know this is horribly devastating, but I am so glad you did not waste your time with IUI in this case. We looked at adoption very seriously as well before going down the IVF route, but knew that we would be able to afford adoption later if IVF did not work. Getting a loan to have a baby does seem a little crazy to me as they cost a fortune after you have them, but with time-ticking... I don't have any advice to offer. Just support. I hope you and your hubby can come up with a solution you can both live with. I was looking more at international adoption for a variety of reasons. I know that foster-to-adopt can be much, much less expensive but has its own trials and tribulations. There are also embryos for adoption.

Thanks Tiffany. I agree with everything you said. We aren't ready to adopt yet or use donor eggs. We are going to go for it. I HAVE to try for my own bio child. If it comes to adoption- we would do international also. I work in NICU and I see and hear of domestic adoptions that go terribly bad. I could not deal with the hurt of having a child at home and then being taken away. Thanks for the support!!

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"meggyrn" wrote:

I'm so sorry you've received this news. I agree though that it's better that you found this out now before going ahead with IUI. What is your FSH and E2? Did they do an antral follicle count? IVF is the best option for you but I can't answer the question of doing it with your own eggs or donor eggs. I was diagnosed with premature ovarian failure after two IVF cycles. I only had 6 eggs retrieved each time of very poor quality. My RE didn't do any blood testing on me as he was 100% sure the IF was male factor. After two cycles I had an AMH done by my ob/gyn. I went to a 2nd RE for my 3rd cycle and had a better response, 12 eggs retrieved, but still of poor quality with only one making it to transfer. I'm glad your RE did a good workup of you before starting so you know your best treatment options. If you do decide on your own eggs, they will have to be more aggressive, which in turn means more cost of meds. We had no insurance coverage so we had to save money for it all. There are women on here who have also had success with donor eggs and women who have had success with having POF. One did a couple cycles of IVF which were cancelled and then had success with an IUI.
Child/pregnancy mentioned...
My BFF, whom I met on another IVF forum, was diagnosed with POF also. She had success her first IVF cycle and now has an almost 2 year old daughter. She is also currently 7 months pregnant with their 2nd child. That was a surprise, unplanned pregnancy. She got pregnant her first month after she finished breast feeding and had only had one period. So you just never know.

Meg- I asked about FSH and E2 that you mentioned. She said that AMH is more accurate. It is more true about egg reserve than FSH which is about the stim portion. She said my follicles are numerous but that follies can just be filled with fluid and not necessarily an egg. They are happy to see all the follies on my scans but aren't sure if there are eggs in there. :dontknow: very frustrating! Lucky I have insurance coverage at 50% including meds but I still need to have money to pay it all up front. I just got loan companies from my office and we have some savings. Feeling a bit overwhelmed.

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It sounds like you are making a good decision to try with your own eggs first. That way if things don't work out you know you did everything you could.