Funny comment by a friend

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Joined: 03/02/07
Posts: 473
Funny comment by a friend

I am so glad I could see the irony in this, rather than it setting me off into tears. I must be feeling better.

After I contacted each person who knew about the IVF to let them know it was unsuccessful, I received all kinds of great support. A silver lining in this was that I know I really do have great family/friends and they have been so wonderful during this. We live far away from everyone and I think I'm going to have some visitors coming soon! I am really looking forward to it.

Anyway, one of my great friends, who really is great, is pg. She has been a such support to me, but has had no fertility issues whatsoever, and how could she possibly understand what this is like. She let me know, after saying sorry for my failed cycle, that she has had to have 2 progesterone injections, given by a nurse (she usually delivers about 4 weeks early and the injections are supposed to help her go to 37 weeks. Her other children have been completely healthy). After those 2 injections, and because this pregnancy has been "harder", she has decided she does not want to be pregnant again. Of course, the injections are uncomfortable (muscular), she doesn't want to deliver early. I want the best for her pregnancy also. I am sure she is concerned about her baby and I totally understand that. But I couldn't help but think, a mere 2 injections has made this tough? I'd gladly do one every day if I'd get another baby afterwards. Not to mention that having the ability to "decide" that you don't want any more babies is a blessing in itself.

I guess I'm glad she is not walking on eggshells around me, anyway! The whole world doesn't revolve around my problems, either. I can be a very sympathetic friend.....over email, for now.

DancingNancy's picture
Joined: 08/30/11
Posts: 520

I'm so glad that you got such a great response and support from your friends and family. It means much more than I think people realize to verbalize that you are loved and supported. It is hard when people, even those who are the closest to you, can't and don't understand all of the complexities of infertility. Hopefully, after some reflection, she will realize what she said. Glad that you were able to move past it though.

meggyrn's picture
Joined: 02/16/09
Posts: 2263

Glad you have had such great support through all of this. I found who my true friends were when going through IF and IVF. That's nice that you'll have some visitors soon.

I said the same thing as you about taking a shot everyday if it meant being pregnant. Does your friend know what IVF entails? It's funny how some ppl think one thing is so hard when it's a walk in the park to others. It's nice that you have such a great friendship with her. If not, you probably wouldn't have been able to let it go.

Joined: 12/07/10
Posts: 2421

I'm glad you have an amazing support system. I wish I had the same thing. No one knows except my MIL that we're having difficulty having a baby. It was extremely difficult to go through my losses without any support from friends and family. I think I'd be lost w/o this forum.

I'm glad she's been supportive and glad you didn't let her ignorant comment get to you. I don't think people realize how easy they have it sometimes. I would also gladly take several shots daily if it means I get to hold a healthy baby in the end.

I'm really glad you're having visitors. Go have a few drinks and have fun! ((HUGS))

yipeeladybug's picture
Joined: 01/18/06
Posts: 1214

Kara, you have a great attitude. I'm sure your friend had the best intentions...but even the best of friends sometimes put their foot in their mouth, totally unknowingly. It's like they're trying to connect with you and just don't realize how it's just not possible.

It is wonderful to have so many friends/family supporting you and that you can talk to them about it. I've only mentioned it to my sister and even asked her not to mention it to my parents. My mom is a huge worrier and while I love her, it's best that we don't discuss IVF or fertility anything.