Hope is gone
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Thread: Hope is gone

  1. #1
    Posting Addict mom2robbie's Avatar
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    Default Hope is gone

    I don't have the "official" word yet but I am expecting to here from the RE's office soon.

    Today's u/s showed 2 follies - one 10mm and one 7mm. With having anaphylaxis to the meds I am pretty sure that my dream of having another baby is over. Sean came home from work to bring me home and held me while I cried. I sent him back to work as we can't really afford to have him miss work.

    My heart is breaking. The RE that did my u/s said that with my reactions getting more severe daily I can't keep taking the puregon, it is risking my life to continue it.

    I will update more once I know but will probably be dropping out of the org while I grieve. Giving up is so much harder then dealing with my past miscarriages.
    Margaret (44)
    Sean (38 )
    Robbie (8 )
    Bailey (April 2, 2011)


    "The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind." Caroline Myss

  2. #2
    Supporter lovebuggy1's Avatar
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    Oh Margaret I'm so sorry. Is there any other meds that you can take that don't cause a reaction? DH and I talked long and hard about adoption last night. We're almost 90% sure that we will do that as opposed to IVF. Is that an option for you at all? I'm thinking about you!
    Steph

    Cycle 1 post surgery-Clomid+Trigger=BFN
    Cycle 2 post surgery-Natural Cycle=BFP!

     BabyFruit Ticker

  3. #3
    Posting Addict mom2robbie's Avatar
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    Received the call from the RE. They want to try another med next cycle but are worried about the same. With my age the end is here. I have to come to terms that I will never have another pregnancy. My heart is broken.

    We have looked into adoption in the past but was not ready to go that route. The only way to get placed with a newborn (besides private) is to accept a legal risk. Sean was very against foster-to-adopt but recently said if that is the route I want to go then he will accept it.

    My Brownie group was cancelled tonight - which is really good as I don't know how I could have survived going.
    Margaret (44)
    Sean (38 )
    Robbie (8 )
    Bailey (April 2, 2011)


    "The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind." Caroline Myss

  4. #4
    Mega Poster meggyrn's Avatar
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    I'm so sorry Margaret. I'm glad that your RE is willing to try another med for the next cycle. That way you know you've done everything you possibly can to have another bio child. With knowing that you do react to the meds, you can be more aware and ready for a reaction. We will miss you here at preg.org and will continue to think about you. Take time to yourself and with DH. We are here for you when you are ready to come back. Feel free to PM me. Adoption is a hard decision. DH and I talked about and decided it was not for us. It takes a certain special couple to adopt. I hope you are able to make the best decision for you and your family.

    Meg-30 DH-42

    2 IUI's-BFN
    IVF #1-cancelled d/t embryos arresting before transfer (3/09)
    IVF #2-BFP 9wks-7/30/09 (6/09)
    IVF #3-BFN (5/10)

  5. #5
    Posting Addict mom2robbie's Avatar
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    We are not going to try another med. When AF returns I will be going back on the pill.
    Margaret (44)
    Sean (38 )
    Robbie (8 )
    Bailey (April 2, 2011)


    "The soul always knows what to do to heal itself. The challenge is to silence the mind." Caroline Myss

  6. #6
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    Oh Margaret, my heart breaks for you. Maybe you just need some time to heal and then you can try again. I"m so sorry.

  7. #7
    Mega Poster meggyrn's Avatar
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    Sometimes to you have to weigh the risks and benefits. With your history of allergic reaction it sounds like the risk of trying another med outweighs the benefit. You have to also think about yourself and your family when doing all of this and it sounds like you are. I know it's not the easiest decision. We are all here for you.

    Meg-30 DH-42

    2 IUI's-BFN
    IVF #1-cancelled d/t embryos arresting before transfer (3/09)
    IVF #2-BFP 9wks-7/30/09 (6/09)
    IVF #3-BFN (5/10)

  8. #8
    Super Poster DancingNancy's Avatar
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    My heart breaks for you. I am so truly sorry. I pray for peace and healing for you.

  9. #9
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    Margaret - I feel for you. Wish you had had a different outcome.

    -Tiffany

  10. #10
    Posting Addict Nell4Him's Avatar
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    I am so so so so sorry.

    Praying for your emotional healing in this time of grief.

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