Introducing myself

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Joined: 10/06/09
Posts: 183
Introducing myself

I've posted a few times but I guess I should come out of lurker mode and introduce myself. I'm 44 years old and have had 4 miscarriages in 2.5 years. All the pg's occurred without assistance - we failed 4 rounds of IUI - much more successful on our own! LOL

So, after tons of testing for me and DH- (sadly, none on the embryo's themselves) the medical verdict is that the mc's are most likely due to my age, and our doc feels DE or adoption are the way to go.

I am very frustrated by the fact that neither of the two clinics we are considering will give us *ANY* information about the size of their donor pool until we go through at least one or two very expensive appointments. Our insurance does not cover any of this expense, and you all know how expensive it is.

Of the two that we're considering, one is affiliated a local University and Medical Center and is highly qualified. Their pluses are their experience and their location. This group is very professional, but I don't click with the dr very well. He feels a little distant to me - not uncaring, but very reserved.

The other is a free-standing clinic started by some docs that were at the University Center originally and were trained in VA - they have been in the field for 20+ years so they're not inexperienced either. The pluses are that I clicked with the doc very well, and he impressed my husband (a scientist) with his knowledge and his ability to give stats. Their other big plus (to me) is that they are the first center to bring the use of frozen vitrified donor eggs to our area and because of that their costs are considerably lower. The docs doing the procedures have been trained by the original creators of the procedure, but they haven't done enough yet to have stats to publish at this clinic. Therefore, big cost savings for those willing to work with them. As in - up to 4 cycles with a money back guarantee for the same or less than one cycle with the U clinic.

So, ultimately we'll have to make this decision ourselves, but here are some questions.

1) Anyone here done/familiar with this type of DE? If the recipient, my assumption is that there are fewer medications for me, since we don't have to synch a cycle. Is this true?

2) Did you let personal feelings about staff help you make your decision? I really like the dr at the 2nd center, however we were both turned off by the Donor coordinator. She was young and giggly and *soooooo* enthusiastic! Did I mention she giggled a lot? *eye roll*

Joined: 04/21/08
Posts: 1063

I'd go with the doctor you click with. Have you looked at the sart data on the two clinics you are considering?

Joined: 10/06/09
Posts: 183

Thanks for the reply. I have looked at their SART data and they are very close in results, and above the national average

meggyrn's picture
Joined: 02/16/09
Posts: 2263

I agree with the PP also. Make your decision based on if you feel comfortable with the doctor. That goes for all areas of medicine. I work for a plastic surgeon and he tells all of his pts to get a 2nd opinion and go with the doc they feel comfortable with. I have let my personal feelings of staff make an opinion for me. My first 2 IVF cycles were at one clinic and my last one was at a clinic 6 hrs away from that one. DH and I did not get along with the RE that did my first couple cycles. Also all of his staff seemed very rude to us. I don't think he liked that we asked him challenging questions and questioned a lot of things since we have more knowledge than most of his pts being in the medical field. This RE actually "fired" us because we asked to be switched to his partner in his clinic after his partner agreed to take us on and did say that some ppl just have different personalities. I have no experience in the DE route so I can give you any advice there. All the advice I can give you is go with the clinic that feels right. They are going to be a huge part of your life and you need to feel comfortable with them.

I do know that in DE cycles there are fewer meds. I assume it's similar to a FET. I think you just have to prep the uterus for an embryo, so no stims. You'll probably have to take some estrogen and progesterone.

Good luck and I hope that you can make a decision that feels best for you and DH.

yipeeladybug's picture
Joined: 01/18/06
Posts: 1214

Good luck Carole! Hope your IVF journey goes well and smoothly.

Joined: 04/21/08
Posts: 1063

I think this sounds like a wonderful idea and hope it all goes smoothly for you. It really is exciting and fun and worth it. We have not used donor eggs, but we have thought about donated embryos if we do not have success on our own. We have our own biological child, and we both think he is amazing, but there is just this huge bond you have when you take your own baby home. And we don't doubt that we would form that bond with any baby who was ours (biologically or not). I know that might sound crazy to some people.

Best of luck to you. Your chances of success are awesome. I thought about donating eggs earlier in my life but DH wouldn't let me. Years later, I must say my (somewhat older) eggs do not perform as well as donor eggs do.

Best of luck in your journey!!