Mixed feelings....

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Mixed feelings....

I feel guilty even typing this because I am thinking way ahead of myself I guess. However, I got my final report on my embies and one lone ranger made it to freeze. I know that pushing them to day 6 does have the risk of losing many of them but that is the only option my clinic does. On the flip side...I know I should be thrilled a) to have just transferred 2 (staying super optimistic about those) and b) I still have one perfect blast that could be a potential sibling. I guess I was thinking in my head that everything was so perfect...100%insurance coverage...tons of embryos...I was thinking there would never be the possibility of ever having to do a complete IVF cycle again... and like I said this is where the being ahead of myself comes in....I am hoping that these 2 have nestled in for the long haul and a couple of years down the road we can have another singleton with FET although having more than one embryo would give me more of a "comfort cushion". Also, DH and I were having a tough time considering what we wanted to do if we have excess embryos...we knew we would use a couple of them and we definitely didnt want to waste any and we were unnsure about donating...so maybe this all did work out the way it is suppose to. I don't know...it just makes me feel better putting it out there. I do know that I am so blessed already and like i mentioned feel terrible even questioning my feelings :confused:

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I know it always seems so much better to have extra embies to freeze. It's kind of an "insurance." My RE always said the goal was pregnant, not have having embies to freeze. It's normal to think ahead if things don't go the way that's plannned. I hope you don't have to worry about this in a few weeks.

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(((HUGS))) Infertility is a road of mixed feelings and emotions in my opinion just because of everything you have to go through and question along the way!

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I assume they push them to day 6 to make sure they are only freezing the strongest ones. It must seem odd to have any number of embryos on ice somewhere, knowing that they could potentially become children. I have never been in that situation, but in my mind I would want to give them a chance myself or donate them. Again, I've never had to make that decision, but that's my gut response. Sounds like you have a great chance to get at least one take home baby out of this cycle and anything else is a bonus! Never feel guilty about your feelings. They are what they are. IF is confusing and all the decisions are challenging. It never feels like anything is "right."

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:bighugs:
I'm sorry that you are anxious. It's hard not to wonder 'what if'. I hope that it was all for naught since those two are snuggled in for the long haul if you will.

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I hope that lone ranger becomes a sibling down the road!

**Children mentioned**
We're in the position of having 7 frozen embies. We have two children (one from IVF and one after my DH's varicocele was fixed). Now we have to try to figure out what we'll do with all those embies. It's a weird position to be in. At least with 1, you won't have to worry about what do with the excess. There's a positive to everything.

I hope your little embies are getting snuggled in for the long haul! :goodluck:

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child/pg ment

*child/pg ment*

Like Annie said - it is good not to worry what to do with the excess. We started with 12 and by the time I got pg with DS (after FETs) we had 4 left. We had planned to transfer one or two in the summer of 2012. However, with me getting pregnant by surprise, that delayed that quiet a bit. We have always said we would use every last one - even if that meant more kids than we wanted. However, now Dh says he is done with 2 and I say no we aren't. We aren't done until those 4 embryos are transferred.

I do understand wanting that "insurance" policy of having lots frozen so you can do FETs and not IVF again....but like PP said - there are pros and cons to both sides.

I do hope this cycle gets you a BFP and your next FET is the sibling you guys want. Good luck to you!

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preg, m/c mentioned

PP are right about not having to worry about what to do with frozen embies. After we had success our 2nd cycle I remember telling DH we were in the perfect position. We were pregnant and had no embies to worry about. Sadly, that cycle ended in a m/c 2 days after I said that. Through all 3 of my cycles I never had any embies left to freeze but always felt it'd be good to have a few.

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"meggyrn" wrote:

I know it always seems so much better to have extra embies to freeze. It's kind of an "insurance." My RE always said the goal was pregnant, not have having embies to freeze. It's normal to think ahead if things don't go the way that's planned. I hope you don't have to worry about this in a few weeks.

I like that. I was devastated both rounds when none froze. The 1st time of IVF I had the fairytale ending set in my mind that I was either going to have twins and/or have lots of emby's left over. I was so upset when neither happened. I knew that I was going to have to do another fresh IVF round and I actually spend a few days crying and pouting.

Its so hard not to plan ahead. Remember to just take it one step at a time. Right now we pray that the 2 transplanted grow into healthy beautiful babies!! Then once your ready for another pregancy then we go from there!!!

Also remember that the fact that none froze has nothing to do with the quality of beautiful embroy's that were implanted. They do so much better where they belong then in a lab!!!

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Thanks for the support! After digesting everything this cycle I feel confident in the plan that has been set for us Smile