New to the IVF board (child ment)

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Joined: 04/21/08
Posts: 1063
New to the IVF board (child ment)

OK ladies...

I am 31 and so is DH. Initial testing shows there may be some issue with his sperm. He's gonna need more testing (poor baby). So far, my testing is coming out ok. Firstly, this is all stressing him out. Secondly, he is *kinda* morally against IVF and it looks like we may be heading that way. So things are really going to get interesting. Our next visit will be with the RE. He is going to need some further testing - i.e. testosterone levels. He is not super-excited.

Our OB offered clomid, but if I am ovulating normally then the literature really doesn't agree with that. And I am not interested in purposefully putting myself through a twins pregnancy for no good reason. Plus, there are things like expense and other risks.

The next issue, is that I would like to avoid a twins pregnancy if possible. So, we are looking at mini-IVF or Single Embryo Transfer (SET) if it is an option around where we live. Anyway, that is an update on how we are doing. The first RE that my OB referred us to does not do SET - at least based on the info on the website.

On the upside, we have a great son. If he was all we ever had, I would be happy, but we always imagined a bigger family.

I know that some of you are currently pregnant with twins, and if that is the path we go down I will be fine with that... but we are trying to do some things to limit that risk.

meggyrn's picture
Joined: 02/16/09
Posts: 2263

Welcome!!! I'm glad to see new faces to this board. This is an excellent place for support. If you ever have any questions, there is always someone on here that has an answer.

Have you and DH discussed IVF if it is needed? That would be a hard position with him morally being against IVF. I guess as far as only wanting to transfer one embryo you have to ask yourself how much you want to put yourself through if it comes to doing more than one cycle. Your odds are a lot higher of becoming pregnant with one baby transferring two embies. You also have the risk of twins with only transferring one embie, so the risk is always there. There is a lady pregnant on here who transferred two and is pregnant with triplets after one embie split. Hope you can find an RE to answer some of your questions.

Good luck and like I said, don't hesitate to ask away with questions.

reb2591020's picture
Joined: 09/20/09
Posts: 333

Welcome to the board...hope your stay is short. Hopefully tests will come back ok and you will not have to do IVF. Maybe you can do IUI. There are lots of Texas girls on this board so hopefully you will fee right at home. Where in Texas are you?

waggner's picture
Joined: 04/20/04
Posts: 60

I just wanted to say welcome!

I know it is a difficult thing to go through..I think esp for men-they deal with it in such a different way than we do.

For us, every treatment we went through I thought about twins. Ideally I wanted a singleton, but was ready to embrace multiples. It is a very real risk for any sort of IF treatment. If that is something you are willing to potentially deal with, it is something that can pay off in a great way!

Best of luck in your journey!!

mrs.doolittle's picture
Joined: 02/18/08
Posts: 1335

Welcome! It seems fairly common for men to feel their masculinity is being attacked if they have fertility issues. Hopefully, with your support your DH will realize that testing both of you is part of the IF routine. Even if IVF is not in the future it helps to know where the problem lies.

When I was going through IVF and we had discussions about multiples I admit I was scared, too. My DH and I decided that we would transfer two embryos if we had the option because it would increase our chances of at least having one stick. We never made it to that point (poor egg quality), but we knew we could only afford a couple of cycles and wanted to increase our odds. Some REs don't like SET because it decreases their % of successful cycles. Other REs (outside of the U.S.) will only perform SETs. I would do some research to see if you can find an RE who is willing to work with you if you go the IVF route. There is a chance of multiples even with a SET (see above post); multiples occur naturally, too!

Anyways, I hope you continue to post!

Breen31806's picture
Joined: 09/05/06
Posts: 1172

Welcome to the board! This is an amazing group of supportive and knowledgable ladies. If you have any questions while you continue with testing and talking with an RE feel free to ask. I'm sure someone will have an answer.

Joined: 12/01/10
Posts: 997

We did a single ET purposefully to minimize our chance of twins, and it was even suggested by our RE during initial consultation before we started IVF. Similar to your situation, all testing seemed to point towards our fertility issues being due to sperm so I felt I might have a good chance of getting pregnant as long as we had a good quality 5 day embryo to transfer. We were very fortunate to get pregnant with one baby on our first IVF cycle. We were able to freeze our 6 remaining embryos for future attempts. I think (though we may change our minds) that we would probably do single embyro transfer again in future cycles as long as the embryo thaws out okay. The IVF technology has come a long way so that they are able to get better results in some cases with fewer embryos, however every situation is different so I would discuss it with your RE and see what they think.

Mandie565's picture
Joined: 03/01/08
Posts: 693

Welcome to the board. We did IVF for Male Factor and after the 1st few tests DH quickly got over the uncomfortable aspect. I hope u and DH are able to come to a happy compromise that both of you are happy with.

Joined: 04/21/08
Posts: 1063

Thanks guys!! We are do for our next testing in a couple of weeks. I am so ready to get going on this.