There are some things that have been going on with me that I haven't shared with all of you ladies (or anyone on the board). I was really struggling and feeling at my lowest and wasn't ready to tell anyone. Basically in February I found out that our Infertility Rider for our insurance at work was being canceled. I was so sad and talked to Justin about it. We (reluctantly) agree to call my RE and get in ASAP to see if there was any way we could transfer our 4 remaining embryos in march before my coverage ended April 1. I called into work one day and spent the entire day talking to different staff at my RE's office and to Aetna to set up the transfer. However, I found out that the FET (frozen embryo transfer) coverage was canceled 2 years ago and I had no idea. I felt like I had been kicked in the gut and I just sobbed all day.
So I decided to try to "get over it" and move on. However, when AF came I felt this huge amount of pressure to try any treatment possible and get all I could out of our insurance. So I called my RE and they had me come in that day for blood work. My labs came back good and the following week I met with my RE to go over everything. I was asking for an unmedicated IUI (artificial insemination). However, in my RE's office that day he told me that I was "too infertile" for it to work, even with Justin's amazing test results. He said that doing an IUI would be as affective as us just DTD - (I was just too infertile to ever get pg without meds or IVF)which we knew didn't help us at all since we have never used protection and never gotten pregnant. However after talking over my labs that he had in (we were still waiting for one more to come in but it would take a week or two) he seemed pretty happy with my egg quality and quantity. So I left the appointment with the plan to do my FET in June of 2012. That would give us time to save the money to do the transfer and time to get ready for a baby.
Two weeks later I get a call from the nurse and she says my final labs are in and they aren't great. She said it seemed like I had diminished ovarian reserve. I asked to talk to the RE again so we could figure out a new plan since I obviously needed to use my eggs before they were gone. He was on vacation and she said she would have him call me when he got back. For over a week I cried and avoided the boards and just started to get pretty depressed. I started looking into alternative treatments like Chinese Medicine and some vitamins my chiropractor told me about. When my RE's office called me back it was the nurse that called and she said that the RE had seen my results and was totally happy with them and its a great number for my age and fertility status. OMG - I lose it again - that was a huge answer to my prayers! Although I was upset that she gave me misinformation at first I was so relieved for the good news I started to find peace with everything. I bought some OPKs and decided to just test regularly and make a note of my cycle. I wanted to see how "normal" my cycles were and figure out things on my own. I used them in March and April. And after every time we DTD I prayed for the specific things my RE talk to me about.
On Good Friday I woke up at 4 am to pee. When I was laying in bed trying to decide how bad I needed to go or if I could wait a few more hours it dawned on me that I had been going to the bathroom at 4-5 am a few times that week. So I sat there thinking "that's really weird, I never wake up to pee. And you know, I've been falling asleep at 730 every night this week. Hmmm. Should I test?" I mean really girls, I never test, I hate BFNs so bad and have seen my fair share so it was really out of the ordinary for me to even do it. But I figured AF was due the next day and we were leaving for the beach so at least then I could pack accordingly. So at 4 am I tested and the second line popped up really quick. I assumed I was seeing things because I was so tired. I started to get mad at myself for "seeing things that weren't there" LOL. When I started to realize it was real I started shaking and crying, I was just in shock! I definitely couldn't go back to sleep so I got up and got online and started looking at my LMP and looking up my due date. I was dying to tell someone but it was 4:30 - who would I tell?! So I text Carrie (SIB081108)- LOL, I mean surely she was up with Layla, right?! She was! Yay. Then I text Mel and Kim (from my BB) and their sorry butts decided to sleep in so they never got it for a few hours. Deacon woke up at 5 am for some reason so I got him up and let him play in the bathtub while I sat there in shock.
I racked my brain on how to tell Justin. I finally decided and went into our room with Deacon and his Easter basket that he got from someone. I put 3 eggs in and it told him Deacon and I did a practice egg hunt and Deacon wanted to show him his eggs. Deacon opened one of the eggs and a note fell out that said "I'm PREGNANT". I said "oh, that's daddy's - let him have it" Jus got the note and was like "what does it say, I'm too tired to see" I was like "just read it!!!!" So he did and seriously the look on his face was probably what I looked like when I saw the second line. He said "Are you serious? Really? What!?" Ha. So he ended up getting up and we literally paced around for a while like "how did this happen?" ha. I've been told since I was 18 years old that I would never be able to get pg on my own - so to say we were shocked is an understatement. But oh my God so thrilled! We ended up telling our immediate families that day and threatened their lives about not putting it on FB. Ha. I don't want my work to know until at least I have an ultrasound and I don't want to announce it on facebook anytime soon. My family is bad about putting it ALL out there. No filter!
All week at the beach I had insomnia and was awake way more than I should have been. I am fine with symptoms as long as I get a healthy baby out of it.
Oh, I should add that I have tested every day and a few times 2x in a day. I'm trying not to worry but after having a M/C you can't help but have it in the back of your mind.
I hope this doesn't upset anyone, but I really wanted to tell you guys soon since I have been here more and prepping (mentally) for a FET.