Something to tell you guys. PG/Child ment/XP

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Jenn0113's picture
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Something to tell you guys. PG/Child ment/XP

There are some things that have been going on with me that I haven't shared with all of you ladies (or anyone on the board). I was really struggling and feeling at my lowest and wasn't ready to tell anyone. Basically in February I found out that our Infertility Rider for our insurance at work was being canceled. Sad I was so sad and talked to Justin about it. We (reluctantly) agree to call my RE and get in ASAP to see if there was any way we could transfer our 4 remaining embryos in march before my coverage ended April 1. I called into work one day and spent the entire day talking to different staff at my RE's office and to Aetna to set up the transfer. However, I found out that the FET (frozen embryo transfer) coverage was canceled 2 years ago and I had no idea. I felt like I had been kicked in the gut and I just sobbed all day.

So I decided to try to "get over it" and move on. However, when AF came I felt this huge amount of pressure to try any treatment possible and get all I could out of our insurance. So I called my RE and they had me come in that day for blood work. My labs came back good and the following week I met with my RE to go over everything. I was asking for an unmedicated IUI (artificial insemination). However, in my RE's office that day he told me that I was "too infertile" for it to work, even with Justin's amazing test results. He said that doing an IUI would be as affective as us just DTD - (I was just too infertile to ever get pg without meds or IVF)which we knew didn't help us at all since we have never used protection and never gotten pregnant. However after talking over my labs that he had in (we were still waiting for one more to come in but it would take a week or two) he seemed pretty happy with my egg quality and quantity. So I left the appointment with the plan to do my FET in June of 2012. That would give us time to save the money to do the transfer and time to get ready for a baby.

Two weeks later I get a call from the nurse and she says my final labs are in and they aren't great. She said it seemed like I had diminished ovarian reserve. I asked to talk to the RE again so we could figure out a new plan since I obviously needed to use my eggs before they were gone. He was on vacation and she said she would have him call me when he got back. For over a week I cried and avoided the boards and just started to get pretty depressed. I started looking into alternative treatments like Chinese Medicine and some vitamins my chiropractor told me about. When my RE's office called me back it was the nurse that called and she said that the RE had seen my results and was totally happy with them and its a great number for my age and fertility status. OMG - I lose it again - that was a huge answer to my prayers! Although I was upset that she gave me misinformation at first I was so relieved for the good news I started to find peace with everything. I bought some OPKs and decided to just test regularly and make a note of my cycle. I wanted to see how "normal" my cycles were and figure out things on my own. I used them in March and April. And after every time we DTD I prayed for the specific things my RE talk to me about.

On Good Friday I woke up at 4 am to pee. When I was laying in bed trying to decide how bad I needed to go or if I could wait a few more hours it dawned on me that I had been going to the bathroom at 4-5 am a few times that week. So I sat there thinking "that's really weird, I never wake up to pee. And you know, I've been falling asleep at 730 every night this week. Hmmm. Should I test?" I mean really girls, I never test, I hate BFNs so bad and have seen my fair share so it was really out of the ordinary for me to even do it. But I figured AF was due the next day and we were leaving for the beach so at least then I could pack accordingly. So at 4 am I tested and the second line popped up really quick. I assumed I was seeing things because I was so tired. I started to get mad at myself for "seeing things that weren't there" LOL. When I started to realize it was real I started shaking and crying, I was just in shock! I definitely couldn't go back to sleep so I got up and got online and started looking at my LMP and looking up my due date. I was dying to tell someone but it was 4:30 - who would I tell?! So I text Carrie (SIB081108)- LOL, I mean surely she was up with Layla, right?! She was! Yay. Then I text Mel and Kim (from my BB) and their sorry butts decided to sleep in so they never got it for a few hours. Deacon woke up at 5 am for some reason so I got him up and let him play in the bathtub while I sat there in shock.

I racked my brain on how to tell Justin. I finally decided and went into our room with Deacon and his Easter basket that he got from someone. I put 3 eggs in and it told him Deacon and I did a practice egg hunt and Deacon wanted to show him his eggs. Deacon opened one of the eggs and a note fell out that said "I'm PREGNANT". I said "oh, that's daddy's - let him have it" Jus got the note and was like "what does it say, I'm too tired to see" I was like "just read it!!!!" So he did and seriously the look on his face was probably what I looked like when I saw the second line. He said "Are you serious? Really? What!?" Ha. So he ended up getting up and we literally paced around for a while like "how did this happen?" ha. I've been told since I was 18 years old that I would never be able to get pg on my own - so to say we were shocked is an understatement. But oh my God so thrilled! We ended up telling our immediate families that day and threatened their lives about not putting it on FB. Ha. I don't want my work to know until at least I have an ultrasound and I don't want to announce it on facebook anytime soon. My family is bad about putting it ALL out there. No filter!

All week at the beach I had insomnia and was awake way more than I should have been. I am fine with symptoms as long as I get a healthy baby out of it.

Oh, I should add that I have tested every day and a few times 2x in a day. I'm trying not to worry but after having a M/C you can't help but have it in the back of your mind.

I hope this doesn't upset anyone, but I really wanted to tell you guys soon since I have been here more and prepping (mentally) for a FET.

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:lurk:

Congratulations! I don't post here usually, but I lurk. What a wonderful surprise, just when you were least expecting it. I'm sending you tons and tons of sticky baby dust!!!

Jean

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Thank you Jean! I'll take all the sticky vibes, dust, thoughts and prayers I can get.

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Congratulations!!! I was just looking at the DYSAL board and saw your post and ran over here. I'm a committed stalker to both boards so this is double bonus day for me. Thanks for that. Wink

As an IVF grad with a second child conceived without assistance (other than my DH's varicocele surgery), I know what you mean about being amazed that babies are made by DTD. All I could say when I got that second line was, "WHAT?!" It's a weird, amazing experience. Hopefully you won't feel as guilty as I did about it, like I had done something wrong by having a body that cooperated for once. Be happy! HH9M! Biggrin

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Congrats! What a wonderful surprise Biggrin

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Oh Jenn, what wonderful Easter news. I'm so excited for your second miracle. Congrats!! I'll be sending lots of T & Ps your way. By the way, what is your due date?

Lauri V.

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woo hoo!! Very happy for you and H, I know how upset you were about your insurance and FET! I am so excited for you!! What is next, back to RE or OB?

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"annierose" wrote:

Congratulations!!! I was just looking at the DYSAL board and saw your post and ran over here. I'm a committed stalker to both boards so this is double bonus day for me. Thanks for that. Wink

As an IVF grad with a second child conceived without assistance (other than my DH's varicocele surgery), I know what you mean about being amazed that babies are made by DTD. All I could say when I got that second line was, "WHAT?!" It's a weird, amazing experience. Hopefully you won't feel as guilty as I did about it, like I had done something wrong by having a body that cooperated for once. Be happy! HH9M! Biggrin

It is a very weird feeling. I keep thinking to myself "so this is how fertile people feel?". Lol.

"Lauri V." wrote:

Oh Jenn, what wonderful Easter news. I'm so excited for your second miracle. Congrats!! I'll be sending lots of T & Ps your way. By the way, what is your due date?

Lauri V.

I'm due Jan 1 as of now. You know how that changes one you get your first u/s. I'm praying for a vbac so hopefully I will have him/her between Christmas and new years.

"reb2591020" wrote:

woo hoo!! Very happy for you and H, I know how upset you were about your insurance and FET! I am so excited for you!! What is next, back to RE or OB?

So upset! I had a hard time coming out of that funk and had just started to come to terms with everything. I called me re and my ob and both offered to let me come in for a beta. Since we were out of town I told then I couldn't and so they just scheduled my first ob visit for may 20th. That's when they will do an u/s to look for the baby and a heartbeat.

It's funny because a day or two after it started sinking in I remembered posting on here about just feeling like one day I would get pg on my own. I never really thought it would happen that fast or be that surprising.

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Congrats Jenn!!! That's amazing!! Praying for a HH9M to you. You still have to keep us updated and of course I'll still be stalking you.

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Jenn this news is amazing! Congrats, HH9M and lots of sticky vibes comingyour way!

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Whoohooohooohoohoohohoohooohooooohooo! You are out of the closet! Smile You already know how happy and excited I am for you guys!!!! I think about you every day and hope you are just enjoying every single minute of this. Sigh....I am just so stinkin' happy for you!!!!

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W

"Ami28639" wrote:

Whoohooohooohoohoohohoohooohooooohooo! You are out of the closet! Smile You already know how happy and excited I am for you guys!!!! I think about you every day and hope you are just enjoying every single minute of this. Sigh....I am just so stinkin' happy for you!!!!

Lol, I am out.

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Jenn, I am so thrilled for you and your family!!! Congratulations!!!

~Jodi

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HOLY (&(*#@^%#^%&^#Q&%)Q)%&Q)*#&%)(*^#Q%

I am sooooooo excited for you! I was having the crappiest day and decided to stop in. This TOTALLY made my day girl! I am even crying....yes I am a sap lol

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I still lurk over here and was THRILLED to read your post! I should know better than to read through long posts like this at work. I'm tearing up behind a closed door. Wink

I am so happy to hear your wonderful news and pray that you have a HH9M ahead!

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"hopefulT" wrote:

HOLY (&(*#@^%#^%&^#Q&%)Q)%&Q)*#&%)(*^#Q%

I am sooooooo excited for you! I was having the crappiest day and decided to stop in. This TOTALLY made my day girl! I am even crying....yes I am a sap lol

"mrs.doolittle" wrote:

I still lurk over here and was THRILLED to read your post! I should know better than to read through long posts like this at work. I'm tearing up behind a closed door. Wink

I am so happy to hear your wonderful news and pray that you have a HH9M ahead!

Smile

I've cried every time I've told someone new. Even if its just over text or email. I just can't believe it and am so emotional about it.

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Plus ALLLLLL the PREGNANT hormones running rampant through you right now! ROFL

how awesome is it to say that? lol

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OMG, I'm so freaking excited for you! That's wonderful news. EEEEK! I'm praying that you have a very happy and healthy 9 months ahead of you. Definitely KUP!!

*HUGS*

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How could I have missed such a great post Smile Just read it and it totally put a smile on my face... that is your little Easter miracle and it's the perfect thing for every one of us to hear Smile So so so so happy for you and so grateful that you shared this very personal story with us...

lots n lots of sticky vibes to you and baby Smile

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I haven't been on the site in a while, but was overjoyed to see such good news!!! Congrats Jenn!!!

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What a great story! I was lurking on this board and saw your post. Congrats again (over here)! Smile

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YAY!! Congratulations!! Just got back on the boards after a LOOOONG absence - and how wonderful to read your post. HH9M!

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Jenn,

Just wanted to add my congrats! How exciting for you! Have a HH9M Blum 3

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Jenn, this is an amazing story. Just when I'm ready to give up myself, you post this amazing story and get me thinking again that maybe it could happen to me too if I just believe in God again. I wish you all the best Yahoo

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"combatcutie" wrote:

Jenn, this is an amazing story. Just when I'm ready to give up myself, you post this amazing story and get me thinking again that maybe it could happen to me too if I just believe in God again. I wish you all the best Yahoo

Thank you ladies.

Seriously - I had all but given up on my own ability to get pg and then BAM - it happened. I'm not saying it always works the same way for everyone - obviously I know that. I use to get sad when I heard these types of stories because I felt like people just assumed it should happen for me that way too. But seriously - the RE told me in March that I would not be able to get pg with an unmedicated IUI and it just wasn't possible....however, in the SAME CYCLE I wanted to do the IUI I got pg on my own. Crazy!

Never, ever, ever, stop believing!

ETA - I've been stalking you since I first started Clomid and I will continue to do so until you post your pregnancy announcement Smile I have been praying for you for years. You are so strong!

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"Jenn0113" wrote:

Thank you ladies.

Seriously - I had all but given up on my own ability to get pg and then BAM - it happened. I'm not saying it always works the same way for everyone - obviously I know that. I use to get sad when I heard these types of stories because I felt like people just assumed it should happen for me that way too. But seriously - the RE told me in March that I would not be able to get pg with an unmedicated IUI and it just wasn't possible....however, in the SAME CYCLE I wanted to do the IUI I got pg on my own. Crazy!

Never, ever, ever, stop believing!

ETA - I've been stalking you since I first started Clomid and I will continue to do so until you post your pregnancy announcement Smile I have been praying for you for years. You are so strong!

Jenn, thank you so much for the kind words. I started losing my faith, but after reading another miracle, I am going to go back to believing. Thank you so much for all the prayers. Hopefully my dream will come true soon:bigarmhug:

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Good to hear from you Jen!! How are you? How are you feeling?

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"combatcutie" wrote:

Jenn, thank you so much for the kind words. I started losing my faith, but after reading another miracle, I am going to go back to believing. Thank you so much for all the prayers. Hopefully my dream will come true soon:bigarmhug:

Believe, believe. When I was ttc my ds I had to post scriptures of faith everywhere. My car, mirror, office, fridge, etc. I had to see it every day to keep believing. It sucks because you want to give up. Of course I got pg with ds with ivf, but never have been pg on my own or with iui or clomid. It took me 11 years TO THE MONTH to get pg without assistance.

"reb2591020" wrote:

Good to hear from you Jen!! How are you? How are you feeling?

I'm good. I have started feeling so much better. This pregnancy is a lot harder on me than my ds was. I had 6 migraines in a 2 week period accompanied by morning sickness and everything else. It was really difficult and of course you try not to complain but geez, it's miserable. Tomorrow I start my second trimester and I am just shocked that it's already time for that.

I'm still stalking you and am eager to hear about your next cycle! Smile

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Jenn! I saw your pic of your little cutie in your 365 Blog and I think you have a little girl in there!!! I used the girls angle of tue dangle method and it looks like a little girl to me!!

Combatcutie- I too have been praying for you for a while. I continue to stalk you!

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After being so caught up in babyland since the twins were born I've been back on the bbs for only a little while now. I saw you were pg but didn't know the whole story. SO glad you posted it here - I love to see stories like this. I totally believe in the power of prayer. Best of everything to you and your lo. I also never gave up and I'm still on cloud 9.

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"Coastieswife" wrote:

Jenn! I saw your pic of your little cutie in your 365 Blog and I think you have a little girl in there!!! I used the girls angle of tue dangle method and it looks like a little girl to me!!

Combatcutie- I too have been praying for you for a while. I continue to stalk you!

I totally forgot about that....off to look myself. Smile

Thank you Cindy!!

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"Coastieswife" wrote:

Combatcutie- I too have been praying for you for a while. I continue to stalk you!

Not to steal the spotlight off Jenn's wonderful announcement, but thank you so much. I really appreciate all you girls and your prayers. :bigarmhug:

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"combatcutie" wrote:

Not to steal the spotlight off Jenn's wonderful announcement, but thank you so much. I really appreciate all you girls and your prayers. :bigarmhug:

Whatever - its not stealing at all. Post away. This place is here for support and that's what we are doing Smile

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Exactly what Jenn said! Smile