Squinter!

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lovebuggy1's picture
Joined: 08/13/11
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Squinter!

I took this very early this morning. I'm around 7 DPO. I took a test on Wednesday and it was negative so I don't think it's the trigger, but who knows. Can you guys see the line? I've been looking at snowy white pregnancy tests for 19 months now so I could be imagining things....

From November 10, 2012

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mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
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I see it! Congratulations! Can't wait to see that line get darker and darker!

lovebuggy1's picture
Joined: 08/13/11
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Still very worried that it's residual trigger shot. The one I took 3 days ago was snowy white, but then again I also took an OPK and had a positive on that. This is so stressful. I'll just keep testing every morning. I'll feel "safe" at about 10 or 11 DPO. Smile

meggyrn's picture
Joined: 02/16/09
Posts: 2263

I'm horrible at reading tests. One of the reason why I was never a POASer. I do see a line. I hope that it's a positive. Keep testing!

Joined: 04/21/08
Posts: 1063

I'm not a good judge either. It is shocking to get a positive preg test after years of negative ones. I can relate to that. I hope it is a true positive for you!!

mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
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"lovebuggy1" wrote:

Still very worried that it's residual trigger shot. The one I took 3 days ago was snowy white, but then again I also took an OPK and had a positive on that. This is so stressful. I'll just keep testing every morning. I'll feel "safe" at about 10 or 11 DPO. Smile

That is why I got some ICs, I am going to test out the trigger and keep testing.

mom2robbie's picture
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duplicate post

meggyrn's picture
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Do you have a test for us to look at this morning?

Joined: 07/26/04
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My test was positive 7 days after transfer!!! Can't wait to see the next days tests!!

lovebuggy1's picture
Joined: 08/13/11
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I took one this morning. Pretty much the same. A very faint line. I'll post a pic tomorrow because I'm thinking if it's just trigger it will be completely gone by tomorrow. Then I'll at least know that it will be a real positive result after that. THanks ladies!

-kate-'s picture
Joined: 02/23/12
Posts: 460

Steph-- I am so excited for you!! I'm hoping its not residual. If you got snow white HPT and then now you have a line...that sounds like good news to me. I am crossing all my fingers and toes for you!!! KUP and keep up the pics!!!

Joined: 04/21/08
Posts: 1063

Ok, its been 2 days since your last post. Anyway, hope you are ok.

Tiffany

meggyrn's picture
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Thinking about you and your tests!

lovebuggy1's picture
Joined: 08/13/11
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Pretty sure it was just trigger. Line is almost completely gone now. I'm feeling really pessimistic even though it's still early. Tomorrow I'm 10 DPO and I guess I'll take another test....

meggyrn's picture
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Sorry you think it's the trigger. Within the next few days you should know since you are getting further out from trigger.

lovebuggy1's picture
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Tested this morning and it was a BFN. I I think I'm going to wait and not test again until Monday when the nurse told me too. That way I can at least pretend that it was still too early and I may still be pregnant. Sad

meggyrn's picture
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Sorry :(. Try to relax and spend the weekend thinking there's still a possibility of being pregnant. :bigarmhug:

-kate-'s picture
Joined: 02/23/12
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I hate BFNs!!! Seriously hate them. It makes you feel so crappy. :grouphug: Hope you can make it through the weekend without testing. It will make your weekend better. Then monday, good or bad, you will know that whatever the result is- it is definitely correct. I'm crossing everything for you. :goodluck:

lovebuggy1's picture
Joined: 08/13/11
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Thanks Meg and Kate! So I figured it out and if I test on Sunday (child ment) I will be testing on the exact date that I tested with DD. I knew that if I was pregnant they would most likely have the same birthday, but it feels like it brings me good luck if I test on the same day too.

mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
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Steph, that is pretty cool that you would be testing on the same day. I had my BFP on November 20th and February 20th, I have successfully forgotten the times that I had chemicals.

I am crossing everything I can in hopes that it is awesome news for you.

meggyrn's picture
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I hope Sunday is a lucky day for you Smile

lovebuggy1's picture
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I was able to refrain from taking a test this morning. One day down two to go....

meggyrn's picture
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Two more mornings left!

lovebuggy1's picture
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I called the nurse yesterday to check in and she reprimanded me for taking a test so early. I told her that everyone who has been trying for over a year tests early. And she said it was an easy way to drive yourself crazy...I hate it that she's right. I would say she doesn't understand, but she actually dealt with infertility as well and went through similar procedures as I did.

meggyrn's picture
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I'm sure she gets many calls from women upset because they tested early. It sounds like from her experience she knows how hard it is to refrain though. One more morning!

mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
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I agree, testing early when you have tried for so long just seems to happen. I have had to keep all hpts out of the house, that being said I did just stalk up on ICs as I want to test out the trigger. Hoping for a BFP for you!

Joined: 04/21/08
Posts: 1063

I don't think testing early makes people who have suffered for infertility for so long crazy. Suffering from infertility for so long when it seems "everybody" can get pregnant easily drives a girl crazy. Geez. Anyway, good for you for being able to refrain. And don't feel bad about when you do give in to the urge to test.

lovebuggy1's picture
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Tomorrow morning is the day! I had a complete emotional breakdown today. Over nothing....but that could be because AF is coming too. All pregnancy symptoms can be AF symptoms too...it's frustrating.

mom2robbie's picture
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"lovebuggy1" wrote:

Tomorrow morning is the day! I had a complete emotional breakdown today. Over nothing....but that could be because AF is coming too. All pregnancy symptoms can be AF symptoms too...it's frustrating.

It is. You are stronger then I am, I would have kept testing. It drives me insane to think about how much I have spent on hpts. I have a standing order for betas so I can always go in for a blood test as well. Fingers and toes crossed for you!

lovebuggy1's picture
Joined: 08/13/11
Posts: 374

Well, I had just the smallest amount of blood today. Barely even anything, but it was enough to knock me down a few pegs. This is a few days early for AF. I usually have about 30 or 31 day cycles and this would be a 28 day cycle exactly. Super depressed. I'll still test to make sure, but I'm sure that we failed this cycle...again.

meggyrn's picture
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Did you test?

lovebuggy1's picture
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No, I couldn't bring myself too. Pretty sure AF is coming. Probably be here tomorrow. I'll call the nurse and see where we go from here. I'm sure there will be another cycle of clomid with a trigger. Not looking forward to it....

meggyrn's picture
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:bighug: I'm sorry. Did you talk to your nurse? :bighug:

lovebuggy1's picture
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Called and left a message and she hasn't called back yet. We leave town for Thanksgiving tomorrow and I'll be out of town day 5 when I need to start clomid so I need her to call that in for me before we leave. Hopefully, she gets back to me.

-kate-'s picture
Joined: 02/23/12
Posts: 460

Steph- I see by your ticker that AF arrived. I'm sorry. :bigarmhug: Hoping next cycle brings you a BFP!

mom2robbie's picture
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Steph, I am so sorry this cycle did not work out for you. Hugs! I hope you have a good time visiting with your family.

lovebuggy1's picture
Joined: 08/13/11
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Thanks ladies! Talked to the nurse today and she reassured me that we did nothing wrong. She said sometimes the eggs just aren't of good enough quality to implant. I have to go in tomorrow and get an ultrasound to make sure I'm cyst free. After that another round of clomid for me. We're driving to AZ from CO so we're in for a 14 hour drive on Wednesday...wish me luck...hehe.

meggyrn's picture
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Glad you have a plan in place for the next cycle. Safe travels to AZ!!

Joined: 04/21/08
Posts: 1063

What are your reasons for not going for IVF if other fertility treatments don't work? We were really hoping to avoid it as well. And before we had our DS we were very pro-adoption. I think we still are, but it was hard to imagine the bond I have with DS with a child that is not biologically mine (and worried there would always be that comparison). Definitely wishing you peace this Thanksgiving and then good luck with your next cycle, whenever it is.

Tiffany

mom2robbie's picture
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"neoncandle" wrote:

I think we still are, but it was hard to imagine the bond I have with DS with a child that is not biologically mine (and worried there would always be that comparison).

As an adoptee whose parents had biological children I can tell you that from conversations with my parents that they felt the same bond with me that they did with their biological kids. I was never treated differently or loved differently from my siblings. A gift that my parents gave me that I will cherish forever.

lovebuggy1's picture
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My husband did bring that up. And I just can't imagine loving an adopted child any less than our biological child. If/when we adopt we will most likely go international over domestic and would try for an newborn/infant. Raising a child from that small would create a bond even if you didn't actually give birth. IVF for me just seems like this big scary process physically and mentally. Adoption is a big scary process mentally, but without all of the physical ramifications. And there are so many children who need homes....

mom2robbie's picture
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I was 2.5 years old when my parents first took me in as a foster kid and I was 5.5 years old (and one week before Sean was born) when the adoption was finalized. Mom said I was the easiest as I came potty trained and sleeping through the night, lol!

meggyrn's picture
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Child mentioned...I always tease that I got my girls at the best ages...they were all potty trained!

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I think the coolest thing about an adoption is what you do for the child/children. Whether it be because of marriage, a foster-to-adopt or international adoption. I think IVF is a more selfish thing to do... but cost-wise, international adoption was much more expensive.

Tiffany

mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
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Tiffany - international adoption is insanely expensive. I also know that in Canada it is next to impossible to adopt a newborn internationally.

I know here (I am a part of the Adoption community) that a big part of your home study is how you have dealt with your infertility (of course that only applies if you are infertile). The social workers want to know that you have grieved having a biological child and are not going to resent the birth parents.

When I was adopted there was a big push in our church to adopt. In my Sunday School class there were 10 of us, ALL adopted! One girl moved in and she was the only one not adopted! 1969 must have been a year for a lot of babies born that went into care of some sort.

lovebuggy1's picture
Joined: 08/13/11
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"mom2robbie" wrote:

I was 2.5 years old when my parents first took me in as a foster kid and I was 5.5 years old (and one week before Sean was born) when the adoption was finalized. Mom said I was the easiest as I came potty trained and sleeping through the night, lol!

That's how I feel about dogs now. I've raised two puppies and I'm over the puppies are so cute thing. Give me a nice 2 or 3 year old dog that is already trained to go outside. I love my older dogs now....wouldn't want to do the puppy thing again! Child ment....We're starting potty training now and I'm stressed to the max about it. I'm trying to make it fun...but not looking forward to big girl underwear or the inevitable accidents that will follow...hehe.

We've thought about foster care as well. Haven't done much research, but I was told that you could lose the foster child if their parents are deemed ready to care for them again? That would be heartbreaking if you loved the child and had to let them go....

Joined: 04/21/08
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I agree that would be heartbreaking. I am more concerned that with foster care we would get a child that had suffered such horrible abuse that they might abuse our other children. I will be less worried with that as my biological child(ren) grow up. I guess I have decided that if we go that route that it would have to be first and foremost about the child - and we would provide whatever support we can while they are our charge. Even if they don't stay with you forever, it still might make a real positive difference in their life. We hope. The cost for international adoption when we were looking was a minimum of $40k for most countries. There is always domestic infant adoption which is also frought with problems, but we know people who have been successful at that.

meggyrn's picture
Joined: 02/16/09
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A couple weeks ago was "Adoption Saturday" as part of National Adoption Day. 13 families adopted 22 children in Iowa as part of the day. I think one county judge does the adoptions. In the article I read, according to DHS, as of August, 765 kids were legible for adoption in Iowa. The average child waiting to be adopted is 8 years old. It's sad that there are that many children that are waiting for a family in Iowa.

mom2robbie's picture
Joined: 01/20/07
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I only know the Canadian system but there are 2 types of adoption from foster care. The first is where parental rights have already been terminated, these are the kids who have been in and out of care and generally have the hardest time being adopted. There is definitely some kind of emotional damage that has happened. I fell into this category even though I was eventually adopted by my foster parents (at a time that foster parents were not allowed to adopt their foster kids). The second type is foster-to-adopt or legal-risk. These are generally newborns apprehended at birth where the parents have already lost custody of previous children. Generally babies are not considered legal risk unless the government is fairly certain the parents rights will be terminated. It can be stressful as there can be visits with the biological family and it can take time - a friend is finally adopting her 3rd legal risk child and the little girl is now 3 (she came home from the hospital to my friend). They actually have a 4th legal-risk baby in their home now. Judges seem to have a hard time terminating parents rights which I can understand but it is not fair for the children to have the process drag on so long.

Joined: 04/21/08
Posts: 1063

If we did not already have our first child I would not have been so worried about bringing a child who had been through major trauma into our household... but that mommy instinct to protect the one I have is strong. I have several friends who come from blended families of biological children and adoptees. Their experiences, as expected with any family, are mixed. Anyway, we are keeping our hearts and minds open on this topic. I think there used to be a TLC show on adoption and I thought it was extremely interesting...

I agree with you, Margaret, that these children need stability and giving biological parents 3 years (!) to sort things out is horrible. I understand not wanting to terminate parental rights, but I think they need to do what is best for the kids. If the kids are in a stable, loving family who can provide for them - and has been providing for them - I think taking them out of that situation is more likely to do more harm than good. Children need stability in their lives.

Tiffany

mom2robbie's picture
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"neoncandle" wrote:

I agree with you, Margaret, that these children need stability and giving biological parents 3 years (!) to sort things out is horrible. I understand not wanting to terminate parental rights, but I think they need to do what is best for the kids. If the kids are in a stable, loving family who can provide for them - and has been providing for them - I think taking them out of that situation is more likely to do more harm than good. Children need stability in their lives.

Tiffany

In this particular case the birth mother constantly would not show up for visits, fail drug tests and not attend parenting courses and yet the judge would not say enough. Luckily this sweet little girl has only lived in one home and that has been mommy and daddy from day 1 - they named her as the birth mom didn't even care to name her.