stress...

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deborah74's picture
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stress...

Im so sad.

Its 10ish days before bcp, 10ish days before starting a new process that has me FILLED with hope, and Dh and I have been fighting all afternoon.

Of course its mostly his fault lol. But seriously, how can I have a child with this man when we are fighting so bad?

kwim?

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:bighug: I'm sorry. Do you and DH typically fight? IVF can be so stressful which in turn will cause stress on your marriage. Also the BCPs make a woman so moody and hormonal. Remember that IVF and IF also affects your DH. Let us know if there is anything we can do to help. DH and I have a lot of marriage stress from IF. That's the main reason I called it quits.

deborah74's picture
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we used to fight more in the first few years of marriage. The last 6-12 months have been much better. We dont' fight often. The past two days have been a bit 'snarky' and well today it just blew up. He brought up how i want kids dispite the way our 'home life' is in front of dss... anyways i'm not perfect but i'm just really sad.

I know part of my reaction is that i'm off my depression/anxiety meds as of 3 weeks ago and I quit cold turkey (not totally planned, forgot a few pills and then said wtw, i'll just stay off since we will be doing ivf soon and it will be healthier for baby)

I saw my GP last week, talked about the meds etc, and I told him if I get pregnant than i'll be so happy I won't need the meds, just keep on going to my therapist, but if I dont get pregnant i'll be back for drugs. He agreed lol. Love my GP. He humors me.

Thanks for posting. I feel a bit better after saying im sorry to my dss for hearing us fight and for me getting frusterated with him this afternoon. Oh and we are going to a dinner party tonight. Lovely. At least there will be 30 friends there for me to loose the dh and get some good girl time in.

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:bigarmhug:

deborah74's picture
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Thanks Christy. I feel alot better tonight after a nice evening with friends, I was able to 'pause' my feelings and enjoy a good dinner. Tomorrow morning I'm meeting two of my older friends (one has a daughter a few years younger than me and went thru m/c HELL and I find her a good sounding board)

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I'm sorry to hear about your troubles with DH - as if IVF wasn't enough to worry about. But I truly can't imagine how a couple could get through infertility and IVF without *some* blowups (especially when they're HIS fault)! Smile

Seriously, IF is a hard, hard road, and we need all the support we can get. I think DH's deal with the stress differently than we do. That's what we're here for! To support you and help you through everything when DH is being a poo-poo head. Hope you're feeling better after your night out with the girls.

:bigarmhug:

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Higs, Deb....Marriage is hard. Then throw a step kid in, and it's harder. Then add IVF to it....you can't help but be stressed and take it out on the one person who is supposed to love you "for better or worse"...this is officially the "worse" part...I've been there. I think men should be more sensitive to how much IVF affects us, and the pain of infertility, but most aren't...especially when they already have a child of their own. I have a stepson, and I can relate.

Be kind to yourself...this is a tough journey.

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I am in the same boat!! AF is supposed to show on Thursday and I'm supposed to start BCPs at that time. DH is having a hard time finding a job and last week was very tense and stressful. We're not sure if we'll start the ivf now or wait longer till he can get a job again.

So sorry about the tough time between you and dh! This is all very stressful and having a rocky week with our DHs doesn't help. I'm glad you were able to get some good girl time in!!

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Hugs Deb... All of this IVF stress puts everyone on edge. Very normal. Hang in there!

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:bighug:

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Sorry I'm so late. :bighug: It's a stressful time and definitely a bumpy road. I hope you're having a better day today.

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((((HUGS))))

I can't tell you how much stress/tension has been as a result of TTC/IF over the first 4 years of our marriage. There were times I wasn't sure we'd make it. Hang in there. It'll be worth it, for both of you.