Well, my meds came last night and instead of doing a happy dance, I had a major meltdown. All of the anxiety and sadness of the 2 failed cycles came flooding back. What if this cycle doesn't work either? Is it ever going to work? Am I ever going to get to hear a sweet little voice call me "Mommy"? Compounding things a bit is that my co-worker who came back from maternity leave 13 weeks pregnant is talking non-stop about this new baby. Plus, next week they are throwing her a 2nd shower in less than a year. It doesn't help that we have some bad history between us (she acts like she's in high school sometimes and is very clique-ish). And I'm seeing all these people who got pregnant around the time of our first cycle finding out what the gender is and things related to being in the 2nd trimester (my BFF included) and I can't help but wonder what it would have been like. I'm trying so hard to have a positive attitude but it's so hard right now for some reason. I'm just a tired of this whole mess. Thanks for reading. I don't know what else to do because I feel like everyone IRL is getting a little sick of hearing about our futile attempts at being parents.