Why...

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bisksprout's picture
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Why...

Why do I torture myself and take tests when I know they are going to be negative??? *sigh*

I know I'm only 9dp 3dt... but if I was going to get a positive, don't you think it would show by now? I'm just so frustrated.

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You *may* be able to get a positive today, but then again if you implanted later than it may take another day or two.

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Did you take a test and it was negative? I know that at 5.5dp5dt, my test was negative. 2 days later it was positive...

bisksprout's picture
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Yuppers... took a test today and it was negative. I'm trying to remain hopeful, but it's so hard after 6 years and way too many failed cycles Sad

Since I'm a POAS addict, I'll keep testing until either a) I start AF or b) my blood test on Tuesday. I usually start spotting around 10dp3dt so we'll see if I start spotting tomorrow.

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It's an old refrain - but try not to give up hope until you know for sure. So many people on this board have been surprised, including me! Good luck!

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Awww...hang in there girl!! I am so sorry and I know too well that feeling of seeing a stark white stick. Hang in there...i have everything crossed you get a positive beta!! When is your beta?

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(((((((((((((((((((((Amanda)))))))))))))))))))))))

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Thanks ladies... I know you understand my frustrations. I haven't tested today... No spotting at all so that's a plus. Maybe I'll test tomorrow morning.

*HUGS*

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I'm kind of late in the game here...but hang in there. It may still be early. I'm sure you're sick of everyone saying that. Update us tomorrow after testing. I'll be crossing my fingers for you!

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Test this morning was negative.

I just don't know what to do anymore *sigh* We have enough insurance coverage to do one more cycle... but now I'm debating if I really want to put myself through this again. I just don't understand how everyone else in my family is so damn fertile and I get stuck being infertile. It's not fair Sad

Okay... I'm gonna go and try to do something productive now.

reb2591020's picture
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Noooo!!! All I can say is I have been there and I do know how you feel. I hate IF so much...it is so unfair and makes me want to literally spit venom!! I could type all day my feelings on IF and the unfairness of it all.

I am so sorry...my heart really does break for you. I hope you can find the strength to do one more round since your insurance will cover it. Maybe you can take some time over the summer too and we can be cycle buddies come August!!

xoxox

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Jumping in a little late but I sooo know what you mean...
I seem to be in the midst of a baby boom with all my friends/family/co-workers seemingly conspiring to all have babies at once! I'm at a point where everyone around me is starting on round two of babies and I am still trying for round one Sad

Completely understand you and feel your frustration... why why why why is it so difficult for us when it seems to kinda happen accidentally to everyone else? *sigh*... wish I had the answer but all I can say is you are not alone and don't give up. If you can do one more cycle do it ... please... and get prego and be a success story to keep the rest of us sane and willing to keep trying....

Smile

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:bigarmhug: I'm so sorry Amanda. I understand what you mean about being the only infertile one in your family. It seems all of my cousins are fertile myrtles and get pregnant on accident without even trying. I hope you can take a break, have a relaxing summer and try one more cycle in the fall. :bigarmhug:

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Thank you ladies... your support means everything to me. No one I know IRL has gone through anything like this and they just don't understand... they try to, but they just don't get it.

Well, AF is here... she's not full-blown yet, but she's here Sad My heart is breaking into a million pieces.

*HUGS*

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Sorry the b!tch has arrived. I always had to stop my PIO shots before AF shows...what kind of progestrone are you taking?

Did you already go in for your beta?

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Hi Rachel... I'm doing Crinone, which is a gel with an applicator. I always seem to get AF before I go for my test... my official blood test isn't until Tuesday. I HATE that they wait so long.

I really want to do another cycle... but I keep thinking to myself, why do it when it's not going to work. UGH! I hate being such a pessimist. I'm usually an optimist, but in this case I just can't seem to make myself be very optimistic Sad

We'll see what RE has to say when I go see her. I want to get in to see her ASAP. My insurance company is changing their presc. drug policy on fertility meds on July 1st... so if we are going to do another cycle, I want to make sure all my meds are ordered before then. Our next cycle will probably be in August (or maybe end of July)... we'll see how it goes.

I've had my cry so I'm feeling a little better now. I'm sure I'll still have bouts of "oh poor me" but I know that will get better once all the hormones are out of my system.

*HUGS*

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I'm so sorry AF arrived. You have the right to have lots of poor me moments right now. I honestly don't know how you've made it through 4 cycles. I was done after 3 failed cycles. There was no way I could do another one. You are a very strong person and you will get through this. I'm hoping you can get into your RE right away and she can possibly have some answers for you. Take care of yourself!

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:bigarmhug: I'm so sorry. Sad

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:bigarmhug: I'm so sorry.

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I know what you mean. I had to try hard when the rest of ny family gets pregnant not trying or first try. Its not fair. *hugs* cry it out. It keeps you sane. You'll get through this. Huge hugs!

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((((((((((((((Amanda))))))))))))))))) Sad

I am praying for you my sweet friend. I cannot wait for that day when you WILL be celebrating!

Love ya,

bisksprout's picture
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Thanks ladies... I have my follow up with my RE tomorrow morning, so we'll see how it goes. I'm still not sure if I want to do another round or not. I keep flip-flopping between "yes, definitely" and "no way, not again". I can't seem to make up my mind! Hopefully, I'll have a firmer decision tomorrow after talking with RE.

*HUGS*

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Hope your appt with your RE goes good tomorrow and you can get some answers. Update us on what you find out.

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How did your follow up go Amanda?