member_Laura Markham

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Setting Effective Limits
"But I hate setting limits. It's the worst part of being a parent!" Some parents, the ones I might call permissive, tell me they hate setting limits, particularly when their children are toddlers and respond with great frustration. They hate the idea of causing their child more grief
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Don't Give In, Give Choices!
Why does this little trick work so effectively? Because it sidesteps the power struggle. The child is in charge. You aren't making him do something, he is choosing. No one likes to be forced to do something. Here, because he chooses, he cooperates. So how do you use this magic wand?
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Give Your Toddler the Opportunity to Experience Competence
Research has shown that toddlers tantrum less and cooperate more when they feel more powerful. There are three key ways you can help your toddler experience herself as a person with healthy power in the world...
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Don't Take It Personally!
Your teenager slams the door to her bedroom. Your ten-year-old huffs "Mom, you never understand!" Your four-year-old screams "I hate you, Mommy!" What's the most important thing to remember? DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY! This isn't primarily about you, it's about them.
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Why Boredom is Good for Your Kids
Makes you feel put on the spot, right? Most of us respond to our kids' boredom by providing technological entertainment or structured activities. But unstructured time challenges kids to engage with themselves and the world, to imagine and invent and create.
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Parenting Step-Children

QUESTION

I have a stepdaughter that I'm really struggling with. She's age 15 and has life figured out. I really DO care about her, but know she is heading down the wrong path. I'm really not trying to be judgmental, but know that I may be seen that way. I just don't feel like a 15-year-old is qualified to set ALL her own limits.
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Prevent Fighting: Sibling Rivalry
Most parents rank kids' fighting with each other as the parenting issue that most bothers them, and that they feel least able to prevent. All kids fight, and all kids need to learn social skills for handling conflict, which is an important part of their EQ, or Emotional Intelligence Quotient.

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Signs Your Child Might Be Ready for Toilet Training
The simple truth about toilet training is that if the child is ready, it happens very easily. If not, a power struggle often ensues -- and we all know that no one wins a parent-child power struggle. Bottom Line: Don't let toilet training become a struggle.
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Gameplan for Mothering Your Newborn
Welcome to Planet Parenthood, where the sleep is scarce but the love will blow you away. Your newborn may seem to be mostly eating and sleeping, but he or she is actually tackling some complicated developmental tasks:
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How to Raise a Generous Child
We all want our children to be generous. There are some people, in fact, who believe that our purpose on earth is to grow by giving to each other, an idea I find beautiful and inspiring. It is important to understand that you shouldn't force it however! Dr. Laura Markham explains.
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When Your Toddler Starts Whining
Whining is very common as little ones head into their second year. Babies who are beginning to toddle but not speaking much whine as a means of communication. They don't know that we find it irritating, and they wouldn't have the ability to communicate differently even if they did.
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Can Your Kid Trust You with Secrets?
Kids don't just come up to a parent and say things like "I know you want me to get A's in school and I have a chance to cheat on the test; what should I do?" or "I'm bulimic." Parents have to earn that kind of trust. How? You're being tested! If they can trust you with the little stuff, they'll come to you with the big stuff.
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Helping Your School-Age Child Learn to Fall Asleep by Himself
If your school-age child has difficulty falling asleep without you lying down with him, you are not alone. It is actually much more common than you'd think for a 7-year-old to be afraid of the dark and to need help falling asleep.
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How Much to Help with Homework?
So you've done what all the teachers advise and set up a regular place and time for your child to do his homework every night. So how come he's pestering you for help every minute? Isn't he supposed to do it himself?
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