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Setting Effective Limits"But I hate setting limits. It's the worst part of being a parent!" Some parents, the ones I might call permissive, tell me they hate setting limits, particularly when their children are toddlers and respond with great frustration. They hate the idea of causing their child more grief
Don't Give In, Give Choices!Why does this little trick work so effectively? Because it sidesteps the power struggle. The child is in charge. You aren't making him do something, he is choosing. No one likes to be forced to do something. Here, because he chooses, he cooperates. So how do you use this magic wand?
Give Your Toddler the Opportunity to Experience CompetenceResearch has shown that toddlers tantrum less and cooperate more when they feel more powerful. There are three key ways you can help your toddler experience herself as a person with healthy power in the world...
Don't Take It Personally!Your teenager slams the door to her bedroom. Your ten-year-old huffs "Mom, you never understand!" Your four-year-old screams "I hate you, Mommy!" What's the most important thing to remember? DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY! This isn't primarily about you, it's about them.
Why Boredom is Good for Your KidsMakes you feel put on the spot, right? Most of us respond to our kids' boredom by providing technological entertainment or structured activities. But unstructured time challenges kids to engage with themselves and the world, to imagine and invent and create.
QUESTIONI have a stepdaughter that I'm really struggling with. She's age 15 and has life figured out. I really DO care about her, but know she is heading down the wrong path. I'm really not trying to be judgmental, but know that I may be seen that way. I just don't feel like a 15-year-old is qualified to set ALL her own limits.
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