Pregnancy Partners: Blokes, Babies and You

Husband Not Interested in Sex

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QUESTION

Since having our baby 2 months ago, my husband is reluctant to have sex. I was ready and willing soon after the birth but thought for sure after we received an official "all's clear" from the doctor at my 6 week appointment that he would be more enthused.

He talks a good game (flirting with me, etc.) but comes up with one excuse after another when we have time -- he's tired, the baby is going to wake soon, he's rushed (for work in the morning -- even though we’ve both woken early), we'll do it this weekend...

Deciding on Family Size

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QUESTION

I want to know how to get my husband to wait on the decision of more children. We have an almost 3-year-old daughter and a 3½-month-old son. He thinks we should be done; I want to wait to decide until our son is at least a year old. 

Honestly, I think I would love to have more, but don't think now is the time to decide for sure. I just would love for him to be more "open to the possibility" and to not be worried about it at this time since it's not something that either of us want to have happen right now!

Christa

Husband is Scared of Our Newborn

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QUESTION

My husband is scared of our newborn!

Good grief! I cannot get him to hold the baby unless I go get her and bring her to him while he's sitting down first.

Giving a bath, dressing, or even changing a diaper? OUT of the question. He's afraid he’ll hurt her even when I've offered to show him how multiple times.

I want/need him to be a parent. If I wanted to be a single mom I could have been!
Cindy

Agreeing on a Birth Plan

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QUESTION

My partner wants a hospital birth complete with an OB/GYN. My preference is a home birth with a midwife but I was willing to compromise on using a birth center. He's not budging.

What are some ways that I can help him move away from this sterile birth experience to one that I'm more comfortable with other than just telling him "I'm not doing it!" and creating another war?

I get that is how his sisters and friends' wives delivered but this is MY birth experience, too!
Dani

Partner Afraid to Attend the Birth

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My husband doesn't think he can handle being in the room when I have the baby. Pain is not something that he does well with and the sight of blood makes him freak. Is it hopeless to think that he can overcome this?

My family and friends all are giving us both a hard time about this as otherwise they view him being "unsupportive." I’d like to give him the benefit of a doubt as this is the way he's been as long as I've known him (10 years!)

Thanks for the help!
Mandy

Pelvic Rest: Getting Your Partner on Board

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QUESTION

I'm 12 weeks pregnant and experiencing some complications. I've been put on pelvic rest. How do I get my husband to understand that it means nothing can enter? The rest is till 13-14 weeks so there are another 1 -2 weeks yet.

I don't really have the interest in sex right now either. How can I convey that so he understands?

Thanks,
Becki

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