A year after Allie was born, I feel like I've fallen off of everybody's radar. It's like you're expected to do life -- go to the job, do housework, drive around, shop, pay bills, get gas, etc. -- just like before, as if the infant you're still super responsible for is not a factor at all.
Rick Hanson: Mother Nurture
It's natural to feel both absorbed in your baby and worn out, so that any extra tug on you from someone else can seem like a hassle, if not an intrusive burden. Even so, there are plenty of reasons -- some altruistic and some enlightened self-interest -- to take good care of a father.
I love my time with Josh (3) and Sam (9 months), but I miss talking with the people at work and using my mind in a different way. I don't really want to get a job, I just want some kind of change at home.
long hours taking care of young children by yourself is more stressful than most jobs. And mothers on the average are more stressed than fathers or women not raising children. So what is it that brings that stress back down to baseline?
I'm on the go all the time, there are constant interruptions and frustrations, a lot of things are anxiety-provoking or frustrating or both, and there's almost no time for a break. I'm actually worried about my health from all this. What can I do?
There are things you can really do to strengthen your immune system so it is more able to fight off pesky invaders, and less likely to over-react and attack your body (i.e., an autoimmune illness).
There are natural concerns about really saying what's on your mind, what's in your heart. Sometimes, it's appropriate to be careful, like with someone who's vulnerable, or to stay out of a rage, or if there is any whiff of possible partner abuse.
Fundamentally, empathy is a skill, like any other, and you can get better at it. And much the same, you can ask your partner to get better at it, too! Plus, getting better at empathy will only help a person become a better parent.
The average mother is about 10 pounds heavier than a comparable woman without children, moms tend to eat high-carb quick foods on the run, and mothers are at heightened risk for Type II diabetes.
To solve these problems -- and maintain an intact family in which to raise precious children -- we've found five key methods. They're not glib, they're not a TV sound bite, but they're the real deal. Try them yourself and see if you can get your spouse to go along.