Me and my boyfriend are in this together but sometimes I really feel like im going about this all by myself and I wish I had someone to talk to...
Trying to Conceive
I am so excited for us trying to get pregnant that I think I am becoming slightly obsessed with having a baby...
So me and my boyfriend have decided that it is time we have our own little bundle of joy.
I have five children and we want another one. This sounds crazy but, this will definatly be the last. We have had a journey with the children we have. We had no jobs and lived with other people and now our life is so much better. We are working, we have our own house, we can save money, everything just seems to be in order. Im very anxious to have a baby.
so my husband and i are high school sweethearts. we have been together for 14 years and married for 2. i have been off BC for 2 years but really TTC for a year. 4 moths ago i tried one of those digital test and it said pregnant. I was so excited the next day i bought a box of test and everyone was a BFN i was crushed. a couple days latter AF showed up.
I love this quote from someone here named Teresa "When getting pregnant and having babies doesn't "come naturally" to you, you join the world of "trying to conceive". This world is little known to most women, but to some women it is their entire existence. It is what their world revolves around."
I had to save that here on my blog.
Even though I am so excited about having a baby with my soulmate, I still think I might be a little mad !. I have 2 that run me ragged already and now I want another!!! what is wrong with me? hehehehe. Thinking about it we will have 3 children and 2 dogs!. Seriously though I really am so excited about this because I know that my man will stand by me the whole way.
So the count down begins, only 5 more days til I get to start progesterone and then clomid, I couldn't be more excited and apprehensive about this journey. I have waited so long to have a child and now I feel guilty and scared, scared because I am a strong believer in the whole 2012 thing and guilty because my ex still has a lot of my heart and has just lost his mom who was also like a mom to me and he really needs me now and wants nothing more than for me to come back so he won't be alone. I was his first and only love and abandoned him for my childhood sweetheart.
My emotions are all over the place. I thought we were pregnant and then my period started. Now it wont leave! Im hurting and bleeding bad. Clotting like nobody's business. Wondering if I am miscarrying. Still in search of the compassionate doctor that will look past my weight and see my good health as a factor in conceiving a child.
I am at my wits end. Thank God for my sanity.
Today I feel hopeless. I can't help but to say poor me. What's wrong with me? WHy can't I have a beautiful baby as easy as everyone else? Yesterday someone dropped by to show me her 3 month old little girl. How could god do that to me when he knows that I'm struggling? It was like a slap in the face. THe worst part is that I'm a day late with no BFP.