Concerned About Fertility

Cynthia Flynn's picture


Dear Midwife,
Hi, my partner and I have been trying to get pregnant since January unsuccessfully so far. I know it is early days but I have a slight concern that I would like answering if possible please. In all my other relationships when I was on the pill, after the man ejaculated I would have leakage from my vagina. I know this is normal and I have read is actually a good sign, this does not happen with my current partner though and I am worried about it. I haven't said anything to him but could it be an indication of a fertility problem?

We very rarely had sex before we started trying to conceive, once every month or two. I have also read 'use it or lose it' ie your fertility is reduced if you don't. Although I think he probably masturbates still.

Unfortunately I have rheumatoid arthritis and I have had to stop my drugs to try for a baby, it is flaring up again which puts added pressure on me to conceive. I am trying my hardest to relax and not to stress, as I know this doesn't help but due to my circumstances I can't help feeling anxious to get pregnant, even subconsciously. I am also 37 and overweight, two more factors against me!!

Any advice would be most appreciated, thanks!


Since you are not pregnant yet, it would be a good idea to go on a healthy diet, with the assistance of your provider. Anything you can lose now, even 5 pounds, may make the weight you will gain with pregnancy more tolerable.

You don't say if this is the first time you are trying to conceive, but assuming it is, at your age you should be using an ovulation predictor kit and/or taking your temperature to see if you have started ovulating again. Once you know you have, then if you have not conceived within 6 months, you should consult a fertility specialist, since you are over 35. Good specialists will test both of you, which should put your mind at rest about your husband's sperm count. If by chance it is low, there are lots of things that can be done to help get you pregnant with his sperm.

But remember it's the sperm that count, not the amount of semen, which is what was leaking out before. All the sperm head directly for the egg; very few leak out. Good luck!

-- Cynthia, CNM. PhD.