Dear Mr. Dad,
My wife wants to have another child, but I'm not sure I'm ready. The first one keeps us so busy already that we barely have time for the both of us. What should I do?
For a lot of couples, the question about whether to have another child isn't really a question, it's a given. For others, though, the issue is more complicated. And most of the problems have to do with exactly what you're going through in your home: One spouse wants a second (or third) child while the other isn't nearly as excited about the prospect. Unfortunately, there's no easy solution to this problem.
The time crunch, as you mention, is a common concern of prospective second-time parents. But it's usually not the only thing they're worried about. So sit down and make a list of other factors as well. You might want to start with these:
When you've put your list together and had a chance to think through each of your concerns, schedule a time to talk them over with your wife. You'll probably find that even though she's more gung-ho than you are right now, she shares many of them with you.
-- "Mr. Dad"
A nationally recognized parenting expert, Armin Brott is the author of The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips and Advice for Dads-To-Be, The New Father: A Dad's Guide to the First Year, The New Father: A Dad's Guide to the Toddler Years, Throwaway Dads: The Myths and Barriers That Keep Men from Being the Fathers They Want to Be, and The Single Father: A Dad's Guide to Parenting Without a Partner (New Father Series). He has written on parenting and fatherhood for the New York Times Magazine, The Washington Post, Newsweek and dozens of other periodicals. He also hosts "Positive Parenting," a nationally distributed, weekly talk show, and lives with his family in Oakland, California.