Husband Not Interested in Sex

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QUESTION

Since having our baby 2 months ago, my husband is reluctant to have sex. I was ready and willing soon after the birth but thought for sure after we received an official "all's clear" from the doctor at my 6 week appointment that he would be more enthused.

He talks a good game (flirting with me, etc.) but comes up with one excuse after another when we have time -- he's tired, the baby is going to wake soon, he's rushed (for work in the morning -- even though we’ve both woken early), we'll do it this weekend...

I try to dress sexy and at least don't think I look that bad after having a baby. What's his deal?
Sarah

ANSWER

Hi Sarah,
It's a common problem and could be for all the reasons he's giving you and more.

We've done a few video blogs on baby making sex and sex during pregnancy which you can see on the Pregnancy Partners, Blokes, Babies and You page. Many of our suggestions are valid for you in this instance but my main suggestions would be:

  1. Try and get a night together alone (that rules out many of his objections).
  2. Break him back in slowly with non penetrative activities like massage and oral sex.
  3. Buy some new sex lingerie.
  4. Buy a vibrator or toy for him to use with you. Once he’s broken the ice so to speak he'll be fine.

Chances are he may be worried about hurting you or it not being the same. Some men do struggle getting back into sex after witnessing a birth so he may just need to get back into the swing of things slowly.

Don't take it as a personal thing. His worries are real and valid, talk to him about them when you have some alone time or just try all of the above.

I hope this helps.

Regards,
Sam