I Want a Baby Syndrome

QUESTION

Dear Mr. Dad,
I am 32 and have the worse case of "I want a baby syndrome." My husband is no where near ready, but I want one so bad. I cry sometimes when I visit my friends with children and I have to leave. What can I do so I don't drive my husband loony?

ANSWER

Thanks for writing.

I guess the place to start is to gently figure out why your husband isn't ready. He may be feeling insecure about his job, about your relationship, about money issues (being able to support the family if you're off work), the political situation, the economy, the environment, or something else.

Once you get an idea of the cause, you can help him overcome his fears by offering solutions that ease his concerns. But do it in a supportive way. Putting pressure on him or giving ultimatums is the wrong way to go.
-- "Mr. Dad"

Armin Brott

A nationally recognized parenting expert, Armin Brott is the bestselling author of The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips and Advice for Dads-To-Be, The New Father: A Dad's Guide to the First Year, Fathering Your Toddler, The Military Father: A Hands-on Guide for Deployed Dads, and four other books on fatherhood. He has written on parenting, fatherhood, and health for the New York Times Magazine, The Washington Post, Newsweek, and dozens of other periodicals. He also hosts "Positive Parenting," which airs on a dozen stations in the US and worldwide on the American Forces Network. Armin lives with his family in Oakland, California. You may visit his website at mrdad.com to learn more.