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I Want a Baby Syndrome

QUESTION

Dear Mr. Dad,
I am 32 and have the worse case of "I want a baby syndrome." My husband is no where near ready, but I want one so bad. I cry sometimes when I visit my friends with children and I have to leave. What can I do so I don't drive my husband loony?

ANSWER

Thanks for writing.

I guess the place to start is to gently figure out why your husband isn't ready. He may be feeling insecure about his job, about your relationship, about money issues (being able to support the family if you're off work), the political situation, the economy, the environment, or something else.

Once you get an idea of the cause, you can help him overcome his fears by offering solutions that ease his concerns. But do it in a supportive way. Putting pressure on him or giving ultimatums is the wrong way to go.
-- "Mr. Dad"

Armin Brott

A nationally recognized parenting expert, Armin Brott is the author of The Expectant Father: Facts, Tips and Advice for Dads-To-Be, The New Father: A Dad's Guide to the First Year, The New Father: A Dad's Guide to the Toddler Years, Throwaway Dads: The Myths and Barriers That Keep Men from Being the Fathers They Want to Be, and The Single Father: A Dad's Guide to Parenting Without a Partner (New Father Series). He has written on parenting and fatherhood for the New York Times Magazine, The Washington Post, Newsweek and dozens of other periodicals. He also hosts "Positive Parenting," a nationally distributed, weekly talk show, and lives with his family in Oakland, California.