I Want Kids. He Does Not!

QUESTION

Dear Relationship Expert,
Hi, I am 30 years old and dying to have a baby but my husband does not care about this desire and he JUST ignores it. He does not have any other kids. This is his first marriage and his first relation. I don't know what to do.

ANSWER

Hi. How long have you been married? Some guys take a while to settle in to the idea of kids.

How was his childhood? Happy childhood usually means want kids and unhappy means the reverse. I suspect he feels that you don't care about his feelings about not wanting children. Try focusing on that more. If he had unhappy childhood, I suggest counseling because may need to work out some issues.

Good Luck and let me know how you do.

-- Carol

Carol Lindquist

Carol Ummel-Lindquist, author of Happily Married with Kids: It's Not Just a Fairy Tale, received a Masters and Ph.D. degree in clinical psychology at the University of Illinois and completed a pre-doctoral clinical internship at the University Psychological and Counseling Services in Champaign-Urbana. She is a board-certified clinical psychologist and a Professor Emerita of psychology at California State Fullerton, where she has trained other marital therapists for more than twenty years.

Dr. Lindquist retired from California State University Fullerton to devote her time to private practice, workshops for couples with children and completing a book "Happily Married With Children", published by Berkley Press. She lives with her husband and two sons in Laguna Beach, California.