I'm Ashamed

Cynthia Flynn's picture


Dear Midwife,
Ok here is the deal, I am having so many crazy emotions.

I am a mom of three amazing boys, and have recently discovered that at 30 I am pregnant with a fourth, the emotions come when I start thinking about the sex of the new baby. I get angry at the thought of this baby being a boy. I feel horrible when I have those thoughts but I can't help it.

I so desperately want a daughter, my question is. Are these feelings normal or am I an absolutely horrible pregnant woman and will they change if it's a boy when he is born? I don't have thoughts of harming or neglecting the new baby I just get really angry at my hubby of 11 1/2 years.

Please Help.


Well, for what it's worth, statistically your chances of having a girl go up the older you get and the more children you have. I can certainly understand wanting to have at least one daughter, that's a pretty normal thing. But getting as angry as you are describing, especially at your husband (didn't it take two?), may not be normal.

I'd suggest a visit or two with a good therapist just to check it out before this baby is born. That would be a favor to everyone involved. It sounds like you are doing a great job with your boys so far, and we do want to keep it that way!

-- Cynthia, CNM