I delivered my first baby in August and had to have an episiotomy. My sex drive is definitely back, but the problem is not being able to feel anything in my vagina during intercourse. It's as if my episiotomy cut all my nerve endings that allowed me to feel aroused. I still have arousal on my clitoris, but during intercourse I have no arousal at all. It basically feels like when you rub your hand up and down your arm -- friction.
Help! I want to be able to enjoy sex, too. Will I ever be able to feel the way I did before pregnancy?
Please talk to your ob/gyn about the changes in your sexual sensation. While it sounds possible that the episiotomy resulted in some nerve damage, your medical professional would be in the best position to let you know whether this might be temporary or not.
It's also possible that other physical and hormonal changes resulting from childbirth and breastfeeding (if you're breastfeeding) could temporarily reduce the pleasurable sensations of intercourse. We encourage you to get your doctor's advice.
-- Cathy and Anne
The Sex Expert Team
Cathy Winks and Anne Semans have been passionate advocates of sex education for over 15 years. As authors of the bestselling The Good Vibrations Guide to Sex and Sexy Mamas: Keeping Your Sex Life Alive While Raising Kids, they continue to spread their philosophy that everyone is entitled to a happy and healthy sex life.
Anne wrote the online "Sex and Parenting" column for the popular magazine Hip Mama and is the Marketing Manager at the women-owned toy store, Toys and Babeland. She is the mother of two girls.
Cathy is a health educator at The Sperm Bank of California, providing information and support to women and men who are building families through donor insemination. She lives with her partner, Becky, and their son.